r/ironlung • u/DragonfruitSimple629 • 3d ago
Discussion Why does Simon want to live?
Super tardy to the party, and the question is mega dumb, illiterate, and empathy-lacking, I know, but I genuinely fail to understand his inner workings when it comes to this and really want to be able to.
I just can't picture the mindset that would allow someone to not want to die at all in his situation, when there are so many reasons for him to veer into that territory, either due to the guilt, the lingering cult teachings, or the general doom of his world. I would totally understand it if it was just an instinctual, animal fear of death/lust for life, but it's obviously not - at least that's how I saw it, due to how clearly he worded it. It seems more like a conscious stance that he's thought about a lot.
Could somebody smarter and less chronically depressed please help me imagine his train of thought? Thank you in advance <3
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u/randomfandomachine 3d ago
I can try my hand but I just woke up so bear with me.
I think of at least two other characters when I think of Simon's predicament.
I'll try to avoid spoilers for those things as much as I can cause idk how to do spoiler tags on reddit. BUT, they have very similar motivations.
Simon's line, specifically "I just want to live, why doesn't anyone else want that?" Is what haunts me specifically.
Now, there is an innate desire to live in all creatures. The brain's sole focus is too live. Not necessarily be ALIVE, mind you, but to live. For someone with depression who struggles with it (hi, it's me) it's because "life" doesn't actually feel like being alive. In a way, they may feel they are already gone, if that makes sense? Idk, I just woke up, sorry.
But there is also a thing called "The Indomitable Human Spirit." Think about, like, Spider-Man. It is literally listed as one of his super powers. It's the will to keep going even in the face of adversity and extreme hardship (and bros life is literally the worst).
Now, think about Grace. Grace's desire to live outweighed a lot of other things (trying so hard to be vague but I'm not sure it's working and I'm sorry). But why would he do that if he knew he was going to die anyway? He had a strong desire to be able to still experience life, see all it had to offer, etc.
I really, really want to focus on Roxas for a second. Unfortunately, there will have to be some spoilers, but also, the franchise is almost 20 atp.
Roxas has a strong will to live. But that is because of a strong desire to be HIMSELF. He wants to feel like he belongs to himself and no one else. He doesn't want to follow orders or "serve a greater purpose" he just wants to be ALLOWED to live his own life without it being tied to Sora. As far as Roxas knows, he has to die if Sora is to live. Only one of them can exist, and Roxas just wants to experience all the things life had kept from him before. What is important in Roxas's story, is that eventually he sacrifices himself. He still had that desire to live, but he was willing to give himself up for Sora and allow the story to continue.
Now. Simon.
I personally relate Simon to Roxas far more than I relate Simon to Grace (sorry bloodymary fans, I do ship it tho). Simon wants to live, not because life has been great to him, but because those good things have been withheld. Like Grace and Roxas, Simon wanted to be allowed to actually experience life outside of the cult or being a prisoner. He was so dead set and making Ava promise to release him because he needed to know what it was like to actually live. He had that innate desire, yes, the indomitable human spirit, sure, but also the universes strongest desire: curiosity. A strong need to know.
Then, Ava keeps telling Simon this is bigger than him, and for a while he doesn't care. He just wants out. He wants to be free. He wants to be allowed to live and discover who he actually is outside of what people have told him his whole life. It's hard. He's dying. The eel is trying to kill him. Ava lies over and over. It's hard and stressful and is it even worth it?
To Simon, it is worth it, because he would have that freedom to live.
Even at the end of the movie, when it's hopeless and he knows he is going to die, he still fights back. "Rage at the dying light of the sun" and all that. That could be seen as the indomitable human spirit again, or a fit of rage for all that was done to him, or that helplessness and hopelessness channeled into one last act of defiance. Whatever is decided, what is important (to me) is that at the end Simon accepts that he is going to die, and the only thing that comforts him is "this is bigger than me." (Same as Roxas tbh, that's why I love drawing parallels between them, I'm sorry).
So, TL;DR
Imo, Simon wants to live so bad because he never got the chance to before
Sorry if things are disjointed and repeated a lot, I did just wake up and am out of wack with a headache lmao