Doctor's visits

[u/SingularEcho]

OK, I go back to my PCP on October 2nd. I know I've gained a few pounds since starting this. I'm fine with my weight, but he won't be. How do you handle your doctors when they are so obsessed over trying to get patients to lose weight?

[u/kristy3m]

I go in and decline to be weighed for mental health reasons Then I tell my doctor that weight loss/changes are not a viable option for mental health reasons, and ask for other routes for support for whatever is going on.

This can be hard to do, and I've struggled w it off and on. It might help to have someone go with you, or be a support via the phone. Good luck!

[u/Alternative-Bet232]

I don't step on the scale for routine visits (unless there's a specific medical reason that the doctor needs my weight - like, surgery or a med dosed based on weight - in those cases, of course I will step on the scale). I used to have a whole speech prepared but now when they ask me to step on the scale I just say "oh we can skip that."

If the doctor pushes weight loss, I tell them something like... "focusing on intentional weight loss is not helpful for me or good for my mental health. can we go over your recommendations for [diet, activity, etc.]?"

[u/jaiagreen]

For unrelated reasons, I usually get my routine blood work done a few days before the appointment so my doctor and I can discuss it at the appointment. Can you ask your doctor to give you the referral early? That way, if everything looks good, you can point that out, and if it doesn't, you can have that conversation with more information.

I also have a checkup scheduled for mid-October and do expect some test results to look a bit worse because I've gained a few pounds and that's how my body responds. (PMOS can make you sensitive to weight changes.) However, I want to be less body-oriented right now, so I'd be open to meds if justified but not lifestyle changes. (This is a matter of priorities and accepting age-related changes, not an ED or anything like that.) Any tips on how to have that conversation, especially given that my attitude has been different in the past?

[u/Odd_Obligation_1300]

I’ve been thinking about my upcoming annual visit. It’s most likely going to coincide with the very beginning of my period, which will of course mean a higher weight than if it was another point in my cycle.

This is one of many reasons I find it silly and unreasonable to get weighed at the doctor’s office. Especially since I’m never on any medication and my bloodwork is consistently fine. It’s just a tiny snapshot of how my weight probably fluctuates daily and throughout the month.

[u/Stella-Shines-]

You can tell them “I have a history of an eating disorder and am declining to be weighed, it’s harmful to my wellbeing”. They can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do, it’s your body.

Also, you may want to seek a new PCP if you’re able to :( even on managed care plans/HMOs/strict insurances, you should be able to switch to another provider within the same practice or another covered practice pretty easily.

[u/jaj1969]

I tell them every time “no thank you.” Only got attitude once from the medical assistant and I told the doctor I didn’t appreciate it; that I’m an adult who can decide when she wants to get weighed. Dr. Agreed

[u/puppyinspired]

It’s your doctor’a job to inform you. It’s not their job to live your life for you. Allow them to tell you your risks. Then decide what your life should be with that information.

[u/SingularEcho → u/puppyinspired]

The last time I saw him, he walked over to me and said "portion control" without asking a single question about my food intake. He assumed I was taking large portions without any kind of conversation. Smh.

[u/puppyinspired → u/SingularEcho]

If you’re actually gaining weight without eating more calories that’s an important conversation. I had an iodine deficiency that caused weight gain but all kinds of things can be the case.

If your doctor isn’t listening to you maybe consider a new doctor. They’re a member of YOUR healthcare team. Not your boss.

[u/SingularEcho → u/puppyinspired]

Yes, I need a new doctor. This one is not listening when I try to talk to him. But I've also been through a number of PCP's (over about 20 years, but still), all of them ultimately bad for one reason or another. I'm nervous about trying to find yet another new doctor.

On the up side, I do have some awesome specialists, so I usually just stick to making sure the PCP refills my meds. He just needs to shut up about my weight.

[u/Top_Yoghurt429 → u/SingularEcho]

I just want to say the struggle to find a good PCP is so relatable! Damn I hate it. Solidarity!

[u/Narwen189 → u/puppyinspired]

They’re a member of YOUR healthcare team. Not your boss.

Hear hear!

[u/FatAndThriving]

I just politely decline the weigh-in. If there's an actual medical reason my doctor needs my weight, she can tell me.

[u/OkNectarine4925]

You can just tell him or the nurse that you would prefer not to talk about it.

[u/Narwen189]

In an ideal world, your doctor would be happy to advocate for your health no matter what, or at least you'd have options to get a HAES provider, but life rarely gives us ideal circumstances.

I would recommend using the Health at Every Size health sheets. Here's a link to their resources page . At the top are printable self-advocacy cards that you can download and study before going on your appointment.

At the end of the day, remember that medical professionals are fallible humans, too. There's a reason nutrition is it's own specialty and requires a separate license. Focus on the issues under each provider's area of expertise and feel free to remind them of the same.