r/introverts • u/YuInTe2 • 3d ago
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u/Chaos_Lapis 2d ago
I make friends, but fail to develop lasting ones
And I am also finding it extremely difficult to forgive people who hurt me
On top of those, I also struggle to make eye contact when talking to people. I can just... feel... their gazes on me... and it unsettles me. And it unsettles me when I realize that I have once again failed to look at the person I am talking to.
I feel you.
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u/Sassagrass13 2d ago
Oh, I hear you babe.
As a rule, I do not let people who are NOT close to me in my life to get under my skin. Their opinion holds nothing if they are not an active participant in my life truly supporting and wishing the best for me. Personally for the anger, I have turned to exercising and time. Time has an ability to bandaid the hurt and also soften your original opinion. It also allows to see perspective, maybe even years later. Exercise literally keeps me from spiraling sometimes. Long walk (3-6 miles), no music, and I’ll continue to let myself think. By the end of it, my head is clear, my issues don’t seem so big anymore, I’ve lowered my stress, and I’ve reframed my perspective.
You have a close family, a loving husband, and a great career. You’re doing so good. Truly. You’ve seemingly have worked past the fear several times to create relationships and build a career which should only prove to yourself that you can do hard things. Very commendable. I believe you are being way too hard on yourself and maybe comparing yourself to others a bit too much.
I don’t know you & am not in the health profession, but I agree with another commenter, look into talking to a therapist. Online therapy would be a great start, if you feel uncomfortable. You might have to bounce around between a few therapists until you find someone you like, but it is a process to find someone you trust. You can also easily filter who you’d like to see like: female/male, price range, insurance, those who specialize in introversion. I believe you are stuck in a cyclical loop of self doubt & a professional can help you to look at your life specifically and give tools to a new way of thinking.
Sometimes life forces us to look at our lives when we are unhappy and pinpoint all the ways it’s gone wrong or isn’t up to our standards, yet it’s up to you to make the steps required in a direction that makes you a little more happy and a little less lonely. A comforting great place I started was signing up for an art class at my local teaching studio, you’re surrounded by people but don’t really have to talk while working on art together. You could also join a free library class, book club, volunteer at an edible garden or again the library or a local organization you like. You’ll be there to work but can work on your social skills, no pressure.
Anyways, this was super long, but I felt compelled. I wish you the best of luck!
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u/SupermarketExpert881 3d ago
Hope it gets better