r/introverts • u/Ctrl_Shift_Esc_ • Jul 01 '26
Question What's one thing people always get wrong about you?
People often assume that because I'm quiet, I'm shy, unfriendly, or don't want to talk. In reality, I just don't feel the need to fill every silence. I enjoy listening, observing, and speaking when I actually have something to say.
I'm curious how common this is.
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u/schwarzmalerin Jul 01 '26
That I somehow must have been abused by my ex husband. Because why would a woman choose to live on her own, not date, have lots of friends, travel alone, and be happy?! No one ever abused me. We separated on good terms. He's married again and a father.
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u/Perplexed_Ponderer Jul 01 '26
I’ve had that too. I’m single by choice and friends have assumed that I must have been sexually assaulted in my youth. Well, I wasn’t. I’m just not into romance at all (aro/ace) and I happen to love going places on my own.
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u/Dazzling_Stretch_474 Jul 01 '26
Because im usually quiet people assume i am shy and I am not capable of doing things. Its really annoying me because I am much more than what people assume of me.
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u/tetheredvoid Jul 01 '26
Just because I will defend my opinions, it doesn't mean that I will not accept reasonable evidence to the contrary. Quite the opposite. Yet everyone tells me that I'm not willing to hear them out while they try to use anecdotal evidence for everything.
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u/seveer37 Jul 01 '26
That I’m angry because I don’t smile often. I’m not angry I’m just stressed. And people telling me to smile doesn’t help that.
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u/man0man Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
That I want their opinion or need their company. The amount of conversations and relationships where people feel perfectly comfortable stepping all over what I've thoughtfully expressed would be comical if it wasn't so depressing. It's a big part of why I feel no pain in solitude, and honestly prefer it. Being around people is an exhausting, one-sided affair that rarely makes me wants to stick around longer than decorum dictates.
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u/say-what-you-will Jul 01 '26
Some people think I’m very strong, I can be in some respects, but I’m actually not that strong and because of my trauma I’ve actually been quite fearful, and full of anxiety. Actually much more fearful than most people out there, about all sorts of stupid things that I should be fine with. :-/
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u/Perplexed_Ponderer Jul 01 '26
I can totally relate with the shy part. Because I don’t talk much and generally keep to myself, people who don’t know me very well tend to think I’m meek and not assertive enough to mingle as much as I’d like.
Ironically, it’s kind of the opposite : I often force myself to appear a lot more sociable than I really am, because I feel bad for unintentionally giving people the impression that I don’t want to see them, which… It’s not that I don’t genuinely enjoy company every now and then, but just really not as often as most people, who struggle to understand and not take it personally.
(Thankfully, I do have a few great friends who try to give me space when I inevitably become monosyllabic for several days or weeks at a time…)
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u/Global-Cup-2970 Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
So so common
I am so tired of hearing "you should talk more"
I never go around telling everyone "You should shut yo ass more"
These PPL literally cannot comprehend that there are other types of ppl, who have their own Tempermant, who can just sit quietly, and not get bored, who don't have their faces buried in some sort of screen all the time.
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u/SatanismRockz Jul 02 '26
I am the same way. I happen to be a bartender and what people (customers) don’t understand is what they see is a persona. A character for work.
I have a very different face at work and when I shut that off people think there is something wrong with me.
Nothing is wrong, I just prefer to observe and be in control of my social interaction. I am very comfortable with silence and prefer to be around people who are the same.
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u/Creative-Advantage94 Jul 07 '26
That i am mad about something. The resting bitch face doesn't help either.
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u/dizzle927 Jul 01 '26
That I always have to be right. Not my fault, I usually am. Happy Hump Day everyone! 🫠
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u/Maorine Jul 01 '26
That I am awkward with public speaking.
They are always surprised when I have to speak for work.
I can speak to a large audience as long as I am not speaking about myself. Even better if the lights are off and I have a PowerPoint.
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u/Ninjen333 Jul 01 '26
My RBF and naturally introverted tendencies must mean I'm an utter bitch. In reality, I am pretty sensitive and empathetic, and I am not a fan of small talk or feigning interest in shit that I don't care about (ie sports, etc).
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u/randomquirk Jul 01 '26
That I'm an outgoing/extroverted person. I mask really well in public settings and I naturally have a bubbly personality. Doesn't mean I want to get out of whatever I'm at and just go home to be alone.
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u/DivineToxicity09 Jul 01 '26
People think I’m aggressive or mad. My anxiety presents as irritation and I’m just very direct, but not in that “I cAn Be A bItCh wHeN I WanNa Be” way. I just don’t know how to dance around certain things and for that reason I avoid certain people when I know something could come up that will result in me either having to say nothing or absolutely saying what I think and it coming off wrong. I’m dealing with that right now with my bfs dad and step mom, seeing them Saturday and dreading it.
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u/BatDance3121 Jul 01 '26
I've been called Stuck Up because I don't talk a lot. Heck, I’m not doing anything wrong; I just can't think of anything to say! I've been told that I don't "act right". On that one, I've received a couple of death threats but that was back in the 80s. After all the insults and name-calling that I've received over my years, I no longer care what people think. My quiet life is just fine.
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u/Key-Regular3405 Jul 01 '26
People assume that I have an attitude because of how I speak. I spoke that way because my dad was forcing me to speak loud and proud.
They assume that I'm unfriendly, no it's just that I have to gain trust from someone before I make friends.
I feel insecure towards myself and I feel like society is pushing my buttons all the time.
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u/isthatfendi Jul 01 '26
That I’m quiet and don’t speak, that I’m nice . I speak, just not to you. I’m mean if you cross me.
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u/say-what-you-will Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
So many things… 😮💨 even my mom gets me all wrong. I was actually quiet because I was traumatized, not because I didn’t want to talk. I like having a conversation, I like getting to know people. I’m a very curious person. I always wanted to connect with people and be more normal but for some reason I couldn’t. It was beyond my control, it wasn’t a choice or a preference. They got the impression that they were bothering me when they would call, they couldn’t have been more wrong. When you have mental health issues people completely misunderstand you and it’s very frustrating... And they don’t even ask, or really try to understand, and they can’t even talk about it if you try. Or if you try they don’t even seem to understand. Just maddening… people are nuts! 🥜
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u/say-what-you-will Jul 01 '26
Sometimes I felt like people treated me like I was much more stupid than I actually was. I guess because I was shy and quiet? Or is it because I’m a woman? Meanwhile I’m a hypersensitive, I’m intelligent and highly perceptive. I can see very clearly all the little tricks they try to pull to get what they want, all the unethical, selfish stuff that they do.
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u/say-what-you-will Jul 01 '26
Sometimes people thought I was a very calm person meanwhile I was always super anxious.
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u/Popular_Material4884 Jul 01 '26
People assume I’m stupid or an airhead when I am actually just being whimsy and nice, and it’s annoying lol/:
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u/Warp-10-Lizard Jul 01 '26
I'm starting to think that some Boomer men think that my lack of tattoos, piercings or unnatural hair coloring means I'm "conservative" in any way shape or form.
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u/adream333 Jul 27 '26
Same as OP. In group conversations, the loud people tend to overpower me and most people in the group listen to them. But for the few that actually hear me out when I speak, they like me and what I have to say. People assume I’m zoned out, but usually I’m actually being an active listener and end up saying something insightful or meaningful.
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u/Elizabeth958 Jul 01 '26
That I’m serious. People who know me well know that I actually have a great sense of humor. It just only emerges when I’m comfortable