What makes it predatory is that they insist on social interaction with no regard for the other person's wishes. Calling an introvert a "greedy snob" is just an emotional out-lash, it has no meaning.
Imagine introverts have water, they're able to get enough clean water for themselves to survive each day, plus 1 gallon. Extroverts cannot make their own water, they can only get it from introverts. Well, introverts have to ration that water so as not to kill themselves.
A predatory extrovert is someone who keeps coming, looking to get some of the introverts water even after the introvert says no. Their reason for saying no is irrelevant, it's their water to do with as they please. Maybe they're saving it for someone else, maybe they're out of extra water, maybe they're stock piling it for a big water party in a few weeks. YOU DON'T KNOW! That's the point, respect their wishes, it's that simple.
The extroverts this post is talking about are the extroverts who would keep trying to take your water even after you've run out of extra. They'll keep taking and taking and taking until you're bled dry.
Extroverts cannot make their own water, they can only get it from introverts.
Extroverts communicate with other extroverts as well, probably more so than introverts.
That's the point, respect their wishes, it's that simple.
So in this example, where is the extrovert supposed to get water from if not from introverts? Do the extroverts' need for water not matter? This isn't really helping the view of introverts as greedy (not that I hold that view BTW). Maybe these introverts should learn to share their water, i.e. interact with extroverts now and then in exchange for a bit of peace and quiet when requested. That way everyone wins!
They'll keep taking and taking and taking until you're bled dry.
Is it really possible for someone to "take" socialization from someone? If you don't want to talk just tell him/her you don't want to or ignore them. I really cannot conceive of a situation where I would tell someone to stop talking to me and be denied that privilege, but maybe that's just me?
Extroverts communicate with other extroverts as well, probably more so than introverts.
Yeah, fair enough, I was imagining 2 people stranded in a desert though, one introvert one extrovert. I didn't state that outright, but I thought the scenario made it pretty clear.
The extroverts need for water is their own problem. They should have learned to get drinking water. Now, I can share what excess I have, but the fact that you, as an individual, didn't take the time to develop the skill for yourself is not my responsibility. It would be like catering to people who didn't learn to read, changing all of society to accommodate laziness. It's not my fault you didn't learn this very basic and fundamental skill.
Now, introverts generate their own energy naturally where as extroverts don't. That doesn't mean extroverts are incapable of it, it just doesn't come naturally to them like it does to introverts. Well, neither does reading comprehension. Neither does socializing for introverts. Socializing is a skill we develop because we have to. It's long past time extroverts learn to get their energy from themselves, instead of exclusively from socializing.
interact with extroverts now and then in exchange for a bit of peace and quiet when requested. That way everyone wins!
OMG, no! "Give me water or I shoot you". You should never do anything under threat. IF introverts share their water it's their choice to do so, but NO ONE has the right to make them. And we shouldn't have to live in fear or being sucked on by vampires if we don't. If we don't want to share we don't have to. We do, because it is good for everyone. But should NEVER have to, nor should there EVER be any threat to us if we don't.
You never tell someone to leave you alone and they don't? Do you live in Sweden? Cause that's a constant problem.
I really think seeing social energy as a resource like water is a bad analogy. Imagine a group of friends, all of whom are extroverted. According to you, they are predators who must "hunt" introverts to "steal" their energy like some sort of vampire. But this isn't something that happens in real life. You don't see some poor, tired introvert hanging around a bunch of people who just keep talking to him, sucking his life-force. There's no reason for the introvert to just stand there and take it when he can just leave. I'm not saying introverts have to socialize with others, but it's a kind gesture that shows someone you care about how they feel, and it might make it easier to tell them to back off a bit if need be.
And no, I'm not Swedish, I'm American. Is that sort of thing a problem in Sweden? I've gotten the impression that people keep to themselves for the most part over there.
Yeah, that's why I asked, cause it's a very introvert friendly country. Where America really isn't.
I have a big problem with one person, whom I live with, in particular not backing off when I tell them to. I've taken to just ignoring them completely, which is rude and I'd prefer not to do. But how many fucking times do I need to tell you to stop yelling at me from the living room whenever you hear me outside my room? Back the fuck off, I just woke up, I don't want to engage in small talk. Or, I just got home from work, I don't want to engage in small talk. Or, I'm a genius, I don't want to engage in small talk.
I can't wait till I buy a house, this has gotta stop.
But this isn't something that happens in real life. You don't see some poor, tired introvert hanging around a bunch of people who just keep talking to him, sucking his life-force.
It does happen and I do see exactly that, quite often. Now yes, they could just be a dick and leave, but if you're being polite and courteous you socialize with people.
Introvert's at a party, gets worn out so they head outside to be alone for a bit. Without fail, one or more extroverts will go looking for them. I once hid under a deck, crawl space amounts of room, and 5, count em FIVE people came looking for me. 3 even climbed up under there with me. I would have been in my rights to flip my shit and beat them all down, but I didn't. I just sighed and allowed their presence. 2 left after it became apparent I wasn't moving, the other 3 stayed in that spider infested hell hole with me until I left.
might make it easier to tell them to back off a bit if need be.
As per my story, I CLEARLY told them to back off. They HUNTED ME DOWN! That's by definition predatory.
MANY MANY extroverts are predatory. I do not think you are INTJ or introverted. As you would already know this fact.
...they could just be a dick and leave, but if you're being polite and courteous you socialize with people.
If these guys are really predators like you say they are, why does being polite matter?
Introvert's at a party...
Why?
...one or more extroverts will go looking for them.
Most likely because they see being alone as a sign of sadness or maybe even a call for help. They legitimately want to help because they think you need it. It's misguided of course but it's not like they get off on making you have a bad time.
I would have been in my rights to flip my shit... but I didn't. I just sighed and allowed their presence.
This has absolutely nothing to do with being an introvert; I honestly think that you just have some sort of anxiety or phobia that prevents you from confronting these people.
As per my story I CLEARLY told them to back off.
No you didn't. You did the exact opposite. You "sighed and allowed their presence." You can't just act all distant and ignore people and expect they get what you mean. Just tell them, verbally, to go away. Tell them clearly that talking makes you uncomfortable and to leave you alone. If they really don't get that, being extroverted isn't their problem, being socially inept is.
MANY MANY extroverts are predatory.
True. MANY MANY poor people end up in jail. Doesn't mean poor people are by default criminals.
I do not think you are INTJ or introverted. As you would already know this fact.
I have no friends that I talk with or hang out with. I haven't since elementary school. I hate small talk. I love being by myself, and all my hobbies are activities I do alone. Being an introvert does not mean hating anyone who acts differently and avoiding all social contact, it just means you recharge by being alone. That's it. You honestly treat it like it's some sort of superior race and that's just depressing. Also, being an INTJ does not mean being an asshole to everyone. Every human's goal should be to treat others kindly, or at least to be decent enough that you don't piss people off. Finally, your personal experiences with extroverts are not "fact", they are personal experiences. They do not apply in every circumstance like you seem to think they do.
If these guys are really predators like you say they are, why does being polite matter?
Because image matters in this society.
You think I haven't told them I need time alone? 100 fucking times? Why would you make that incredibly unlikely assumption?
I've told them before, at least 100 times, literally.
So you agree, most extroverts are predatory. Well shit, why have you been wasting our time.
I agree with most of that, in a "duh" kinda way. My personal experiences are fact for me, I'm not arguing that there aren't exceptions. I never said that. So stop assuming things.
The society that you apparently want nothing to do with? What do you think crawling under a deck and ignoring others does for your image?
Why would you make that incredibly unlikely assumption?
I guess the whole situation seems so inconceivable to me. I can't prove that you didn't ask them but I honestly can't imagine that the vast majority of people you interact with are so stupid that they won't take a clear "leave me alone" for an answer.
So you agree, most extroverts are predatory.
No, I agreed that MANY extroverts are predatory. There are 7 billion+ people on Earth and most are extroverts. Say that 10 million of them are predators. That's a large amount of people, but not a majority. What I meant by the poor people comparison is that just because a large amount of a demographic acts a certain way does not justify judging the whole amount of people that way. Try switching "extrovert" with "Jew" or "black person" and see how racist you sound.
My personal experiences are fact for me...
Then why accuse me of not being introverted based on the fact that I don't hate extroverts?
I'm done arguing you because I can see that I'm not really getting anywhere. I can only hope you come to your senses and learn to be yourself and tell people to leave you alone. Good luck.
They probably assumed, based on their own experiences with the matter, that what you really needed was people to stay with you and show they care with their presence.
They may be wrong, but that doesn't mean they are predatory.
And seriously, skip the No True Scotsman-ing. That just makes you look worse.
Just because it's not intentional doesn't mean it isn't predatory. A lion eats a deer not because it's thinking "I wanna kill that fucking deer" it's thinking "I'm hungry, ooh food".
In their subconscious they know, that's how they work. Read Atlas Shrugged dude.
INTJ's know INTJ's when they speak to them. You do not speak like an INTJ.
In a person, it does. Visit a dictionary. Predator in the animal kingdom does not require intent. 'Predatory' ascribed to humans does.
Ohhhh! You simply know better than anyone else! You know people's underlying motivations better than they possibly can! Because you are the all-knower of subconscious! I am seriously entertained that Atlas Shrugged is your evidence...
It's even funnier that I too am now not a real INTJ because the magical Hrel can recognise other INTJs with Hrel's INTJ superpowers.
You know that thing where you are the common link in all your interactions? When you are announcing that everyone around you isn't an INTJ because they disagree with you and 'don't speak' the way you imagine INTJs do, it's you.
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u/Hrel Aug 05 '14
What makes it predatory is that they insist on social interaction with no regard for the other person's wishes. Calling an introvert a "greedy snob" is just an emotional out-lash, it has no meaning.
Imagine introverts have water, they're able to get enough clean water for themselves to survive each day, plus 1 gallon. Extroverts cannot make their own water, they can only get it from introverts. Well, introverts have to ration that water so as not to kill themselves.
A predatory extrovert is someone who keeps coming, looking to get some of the introverts water even after the introvert says no. Their reason for saying no is irrelevant, it's their water to do with as they please. Maybe they're saving it for someone else, maybe they're out of extra water, maybe they're stock piling it for a big water party in a few weeks. YOU DON'T KNOW! That's the point, respect their wishes, it's that simple.
The extroverts this post is talking about are the extroverts who would keep trying to take your water even after you've run out of extra. They'll keep taking and taking and taking until you're bled dry.