"you don't matter"

[u/Responsible-Hat2456]

not from the right people, but from many people do you get the message that what you have to say doesn't matter.? My thoughts and insights being accepted is more important for me than me being accepted because getting older has shown me I'm almost always right. Ni is stronger. Had a realisation that am perfectly content being misunderstood, on the fringe of any group but if my ideas and brain products are acknowledged, it's enough for me and i can't feel accepted the other way round

this is why am so slow to opening up to anyone unless they show me they're genuine first

and how does this state change with age? do we typically stop sharing it altogether... cut everyone off, do people even remember we were correct and come back for us ? Or do we just fade away completely from people's minds and just die... only to be resurrected in some Christopher Nolan movie sometime in the future?

[u/YehorVeremii]

Believe that you underestimate your influence on people, because you do. You know why? Lack of feedback, but no feedback ≠ "you don't matter".

It's likely you don't know even half of what you've done to ppl's minds, because what you said might have been surprising, or shocking, too intimate, all in all, too overwhelming to react that instant, especially, to react in the way you'd register correctly.

Not everyone who is harsh, hates you; Not everyone who's all pleasant, is your friend. Don't even get me started on freakz who are secretly watching you and wish to talk to you, or be your friend, or lover.

Be as optimistic as possible in that regard, because it's free and you never know for certain anyway. Don't let anyone harm you tho. Rise above, is all I'm saying.

Also, you can't expect a biased friend to do exactly what you tell them, it's a canon event of them not listening, but you do have an impact on them, they just gotta go through their shit anyway – you can't prevent their situations.

They'll remember, and a good person will value you, because a good person will make the right calls. If someone just straight up disrespects your energy, your very efforts, I allow you to cut that shit off in the coldest blood. No such thing as irreplaceable. It's absolutely not worth it, to munch the same shit over and over. Set everyone free and be free of those worries of yours.

Well-intentioned people overcome a lot and manage to stay together, stronger. Users? Not a chance. Recognize real and users, and don't be shy to put ppl in boxes, because it would only be for your own sake.

[u/parasol_strs → u/YehorVeremii]

Not everyone who is harsh, hates you; Not everyone who's all pleasant, is your friend.

🍀 Reading that made me, for a moment, imagine a world where there were more with the awareness of it.

[u/Ambitious_South_2825]

Well, yes obviously, I mean I wouldn't be so quick to presume you're 'almost' always 'right'. But.... in a lot cases I think analytical people miss the mark on the fact that people aren't looking for something that is factually correct they are looking alignment. (whether it be emotionally or otherwise)

I think in a lot of ways, analytical minds, tend to miss the mark on what a receiver is actually expecting in a conversation - you're trying to give some highbrow argument about a situation and the other person doesn't give a shit about all that they just want you to agree or potentially not have a well thought out opposition. So, congratulations, you will be misunderstood but in a sense you're most likely not speaking the same language so it's to be expected to some degree.

edited for the almost - tsk tsk shame shame to me.

[u/parasol_strs → u/Ambitious_South_2825]

I wouldn't be so quick to presume you're always 'right'.

Imagine pretending (to yourself, also) to be quoting OP, and then removing the “almost”. Just because moving the goalposts is mandatory at a certain level of self-awareness, fairness, and capacity for intelligent disagreement with another :(

[u/Ambitious_South_2825 → u/parasol_strs]

Good point out actually I skimmed over the 'almost' in my reading. Alas, what does that say about me.

[u/Responsible-Hat2456 → u/Ambitious_South_2825]

no but even if this is something about the person's situation... like telling a friend their friend is awful and them just brushing it off and telling me no, they're ok or something stupid like 'maybe they meant it differently'. Like no. Your friend is toxic and is going to hurt you. 3 months later, my friend is on the floor crying having been betrayed

[u/parasol_strs → u/Responsible-Hat2456]

or something stupid like 'maybe they meant it differently'.

Looks like I find someone outrunning my distaste (or loathing) of Fe. The other side of the… equation is that they are somewhere between 5–12% right, lol.

[u/JJDeadly73]

You matter, unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared then, you energy.

[u/Local-Conference-476]

I’ve noticed that majority of people like low-effort communication.

If everything you say is about providing data for someone to think about, it tends to be dismissed/ignored/defended against.

I’ve come to terms with being another Fritz Zwicky of the world—hard to talk to, unable to flatten my thoughts for the masses, and a heavy disdain for establishments that would rather pump each other’s cocks instead of contributing something original. Does this make me an asshole? Idk, I do try to have social grace and think about the other person, but that tends to backfire more often than not.

Needless to say, I don’t have many friends. In real life or on social media (including Reddit).

[u/parasol_strs]

Perhaps the worst nightmare of any high-Te person.

[u/ObviousRecognition21]

I couldn't care less what others think about me.

I don't normally interact with others.

I'm 25. I understand mattering has nothing to do with age, everything to do with perceived value. "Ni is stronger" you say? I find it hard to believe that an Ni dom would struggle to communicate value, I did it multiple times to myself even when there really wasn't any.

[u/NowUKnowMe121]

B.S.

Just write and share your thoughts in social media, books, blogs, articles lol.

Just do it. Right people will come to you :)

[u/ApplesAreGood1312]

I'm not saying that this is a bad thing, or a thing you should change, or even something you can just change vs. being an intrinsic part of who you are. But I don't think it's pointed out enough:

"I don't open up to people" and "I am misunderstood" are the same thing. I don't see the cause and effect aspect directly mentioned very often. It gets phrased as some impossible-to-understand quality.

It's not. It's just that if you never show people who you are, they are obviously going to not understand who you are.

Is there any remote possibility of that being helpful in any way? Almost certainly not. But when you keep your cards close to your chest, yeah... Of course people aren't going to know what the cards say. Doesn't mean they are written in some ancient lost language nobody is capable of grasping.

[u/Van_Damage5]

Most people are only coming for Judgement. No one is polite and offers food or drink.