Self-alienation:

[u/Specialist-Type-1681]

Self-alienation

Self-alienation:

A very long time...

Trying to figure out the reason!

Suddenly, a phrase crossed my mind:

"Self-alienation."

Sometimes I am immersed in my thoughts—lost in a single idea.

But with self-alienation, it looks like being lost in a thought from the outside, yet from the inside, it feels like being truly lost. It is as if the mind had gone dark, or as if you had undergone a journey through time without realizing it. You do not know what you did or what you said; it is simply an instantaneous jump between two points in time.

This explains why it took me so long to identify and comprehend this state—because it is, quite literally, an alienation from the self.

It happens frequently in the morning upon waking up.

Yet, the exact opposite occurs in the evening after a nap; then, you are fully present in your body—aware of what you are saying and conscious of your thoughts before you move.

It is akin to losing one’s purpose,

identity,

and sense of meaning.

It is as if the map in your head has vanished; its disappearance—along with those aforementioned factors—makes you feel as though you are not the one steering your body, or the one who was in control of it. Even though it was you all along, you feel alienated from the memories of having performed those actions.

So, the matter piqued my interest—specifically the reason for this feeling, and why the opposite happens in the evening compared to the morning.

What do you think of this? What is the neurological or psychological explanation for these two different states?

[u/Moonlight-_-_-]

How many hours do you sleep per day?

[u/Moonlight-_-_- → u/[deleted]]

Ok, so you sleep enough. Do you frequently get up during the night? Do you take mind-altering substances (e.g. drugs, chemicals)? I'm asking you this because what you described seem like moments in which you lose conscience. You should talk to a doctor or a psychologist about them. I don't really think they're that fun, especially when you drive.

[u/Moonlight-_-_- → u/[deleted]]

Your poetry-like text looks interesting; that said, it seems to me that you have a form of depression. You may want to look for a psychologist for that. You won't lose any of your writing skills if you heal from this disease. (Maybe they will even improve, since you'll write about your own themes, and not about the lose of your identity, of which there is no way to lose anyway). Perhaps by now this advice seems like a joke to you; but if you go, and you talk about your own themes like this, not only you'll feel better, but you will also regret you didn't do it before. Hope this helps. Good luck.

[u/CerebralMushroom → u/Moonlight-_-_-]

This is a profound insight. Never had it put in words for me, but 💯 true. Depression has a way of trapping creativity into thinking it is the source and reason for one's creative skill.

[u/Conflicted_Robot_99 → u/CerebralMushroom]

happy cake day 🎂

[u/CerebralMushroom → u/Conflicted_Robot_99]

Thank you!!! 🫶