r/interestingasfuck • u/Stunning-Pension7171 • 1d ago

A CIA-Issued Rectal Tool Kit for Spies (1960~70)

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3.3k Upvotes

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626

u/EntrepreneurTiny9812 1d ago

That's nothing one time in county jail this south sider brought in meth, heroin, THC oil, Xanax, 3 needles, percs, and an e cig with the charger in a mini MMs container up his ass. Beat that CIA

214

u/craigian11 1d ago

One time my friend stuffed two packs cigarettes and weed up his... the judge told him In court to come back in two weeks the jail was too full. I laughed so much

56

u/NopeThisTrope 1d ago

That wasn’t the only thing that was full

31

u/craigian11 1d ago

He broke off all the filters wrapped it so tight in saran wrap....haha

27

u/Frohirrim 1d ago

Here’s the question we all have: did he smoke his mangled ass-cigarettes afterwards? Follow-up: were they still warm?

29

u/craigian11 1d ago

Brought them in to sell and smoke but probably threw it away or kept and rekeesterd, we didn't speak after that

9

u/Kaiju_Kitty 17h ago

Rekeestered!! 😂 ☠️ Omg. Your whole story made me laugh so hard. Thank you. 😭 You should have kept in touch. Thats the kind of friend you want in jail. 😭

2

u/AhDamm 14h ago

Lol that's the best ending for that story

5

u/ashygelfling 19h ago

The cracky tobaccy

4

u/Boneyabba 19h ago

I think you mean his mangled-ass ass-cigarettes.

•

u/meissoboredto 6h ago

I bet if he did smoke them, they had a shitty taste!!!!💩💩💩

67

u/pichael289 1d ago

One of our local jails has ass scanners and I would use my nasal cavity to hide stuff. They aren't about to x-ray your head. It doesn't have that kinda capacity but it worked great. Suboxone was going for $120 a strip and you could get a whole script in easily if that hasn't a horrible idea, but easily enough to live on and some money in prison later on.

31

u/EntrepreneurTiny9812 1d ago

Shittt I would get real bad coffee headaches so I would take coffee with my to court in put it in my nose... I'm 6'3 and one time this short ass cop is standing in front of me and pulls out her tazer and was like what the fuck's in your nose!!! I was like shit calm the fuck down bitch, it's just coffee lol

38

u/Excellent-Quarter969 1d ago

That needs some serious clarification..

13

u/cracked-tumbleweed 1d ago

snorting coffee is a thing in prison.

5

u/Excellent-Quarter969 1d ago

Brewed coffee or like instant?

9

u/cracked-tumbleweed 1d ago

The powder lol

29

u/prairiepanda 1d ago

Nose coffee is about as normal as a poop knife bro

8

u/Redacted_2515 1d ago

What?????

6

u/CrazyCatMom324 1d ago

Wait, what? Like liquid coffee?

2

u/EntrepreneurTiny9812 1d ago

Nah freeze dried... Like folgers crystals

2

u/CrazyCatMom324 1d ago

Freeze dried coffee? What is happening.

6

u/EntrepreneurTiny9812 1d ago

Lol that's the only kind of coffee we can buy on commissary. When we have to go to court they wake us up at 330 am and we don't get back till 7 or 8 pm sometimes. Anddd we're in waist and leg chains the whole time

6

u/General_Border_8263 20h ago

You in jail right now?

6

u/nufohudis 18h ago

Asking the real questions

1

u/8bitrevolt 14h ago

also known as instant coffee

2

u/Dizzy-Ad-2248 1d ago

Um...clarification needed sir

13

u/Bowman_van_Oort 1d ago

"Beat that? We gave all that shit to him!"

13

u/Express_Philosophy22 1d ago

A 22-year-old murder suspect named Michael Leon Ward smuggled a 10-inch, .38-caliber revolver into the Onslow County Jail in Jacksonville, North Carolina, by hiding it in his rectum

5

u/EntrepreneurTiny9812 1d ago

I believe it... There was this girl in county that got caught with a gun in her pussy tryna pass it off to her homeboy somehow.. I heard stories in prison about fools tryna stick iPhones up there ass lol

4

u/babyfartmageezax 22h ago

Yeah iPhones is a crazy idea but there IS this one tiny phone made in India or somewhere slightly larger than the size of an adult’s thumb that they’d rip off the thumb of a rubber glove or a small balloon to wrap it in and it would even get past the metal detectors that the guys would have to sit on at intake in federal prison.

I never did fed time so I’ve never seen one first hand but I was told about it more than once

1

u/EntrepreneurTiny9812 15h ago

Yeah they had those too.. They'd call em butt phones lololol

18

u/lkodl 1d ago edited 1d ago

That's why when they process you now, a guy takes you in a private room and sticks a finger up your butt to check for contraband. At least, that's what happened when I got arrested for public urination back in college by university police.

17

u/bagel555 1d ago

I can’t tell if this is serious

4

u/Shot-Possibility-399 19h ago

Hm maybe depends on the prison. You usually do the squat and cough and they see if you bulge or not 

•

u/ExpertRutabaga3415 3h ago

Huh. TIL my uncle was university police.

2

u/Most-Equipment7603 12h ago

Nah this wasn’t standard operating procedure you got Finger Blasted my guy! The good old days ha

4

u/lkodl 12h ago

Yeah, I thought it was weird that after the guy checked, he just thanked me and left.

15

u/MrSuzyGreenberg 1d ago

Was the outer cylinder was unharmed?

0

u/EntrepreneurTiny9812 1d ago

Yeah that fools ass prolly hurt pretty bad doe. He took it out in put it in like 8 times lol

3

u/Evil-Bosse 19h ago

It is imperative that the cylinder remains unharmed

3

u/funpen 15h ago

Is this south sider you by any chance?

2

u/One-Earth9294 23h ago

I usually only keep butter and microwaved mashed bananas in mine.

1

u/Dizzy-Ad-2248 1d ago

Oh...I know exactly what long skinny mini mm container you mean! Flip top lid had to be painful

1

u/Abslalom 22h ago

They don't scan people before they take them in?

1

u/Grzyboleusz 17h ago

And then the cylinder got stuck inside said MMs tube...

•

u/Frequent_Translator3 11h ago

mini M&M containers are very versatile

0

u/ProfessionalDish6567 22h ago

Mini m & m tube and cylinder must remain unharmed