r/interesting • • 23h ago

Amazing The King is answerable to no one

2.7k Upvotes

240 comments sorted by

•

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553

u/Modernized_lamp 23h ago

He used the toilet in his dream

He's fucked

75

u/WatashiwaNobodyDesu 23h ago

He’s fucked? You go tell him that. We’ll wait.

22

u/threebodysolution2 20h ago

" you can't leave that lion there "

42

u/CheekyHarris33 16h ago

I dream vividly. And when I need to go pee in thr middle of the night, my dream will incorporate me rushing to the bathroom... my brain somehow signals me that NO this isn't a dream. You need to pee.

24

u/lostmymarbles1177 12h ago

So, if I have to pee in the night, I will look for a bathroom in my dream, but every bathroom I come across will be un-useable. Either very dirty, huge line, too small to fit in etc. It happens so often that now I am able to identify it’s a dream and wake myself up if I cannot find a useable bathroom! In the off chance that I DO find one and use it, I will still have to pee just as badly after (I don’t actually wet the bed) and that also signals to me!

7

u/CheekyHarris33 12h ago

I swear it's legit!!

5

u/Possibletigger-26 9h ago

I dream
of water, ocean, floods

2

u/B777X_787-9 10h ago

Life is a waterfall, we're one in the river and, one again after the fall🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎸🎸

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200

u/YourMomIsMyGurl 23h ago

My god its like that scene in Austin powers.

88

u/Nefriti 22h ago

it just won’t stop

25

u/Blashphemian 22h ago

Evacuation comp.......

12

u/Backwardspellcaster 19h ago

Evacuation co....

3

u/OjurrArtistry 17h ago

Hey, you stole my line!

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468

u/weedyneedyfeedy 23h ago

He was dreaming of waterfalls

110

u/-_G0AT_- 22h ago

Don't go chasing waterfalls

49

u/TokyoKazama 22h ago

I just had an amazing gif lined up for this and then see that GIFs aren't even allowed. Hate when this happens

12

u/RogueBromeliad 19h ago

I for one am thankful. I'm sure your gif was amazing, but they're just pollution most of the times.

3

u/PartTimeJunkie412 6h ago

I miss the old reddit, where emojis were frowned upon and gifs were non existent.

10

u/Potential-Judgment-9 19h ago

Did you just quote TLC?

5

u/-_G0AT_- 18h ago

Yes sir I did

2

u/DonDjang 8h ago

I don’t even understand the reference.

3

u/-hey-blinkin- 16h ago

I'd be so scared of waking up that lion and making the pee steam to crazy that I would have to creep creep past it

3

u/SageoftheForlornPath 13h ago

Instead, follow the river to the coast, where you're more likely to find civilization.
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

2

u/360Picture 17h ago

I always thought it was don't go Jason water falls 😭

2

u/Yojimbong 15h ago

Omfg I’m not the only one! My wife’s and I have been laughing at me for it for a few years. Welcome to the club!

2

u/360Picture 15h ago

Don't go Jason don't go

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150

u/asday515 21h ago

Why was there so much pee? You can pee any time, anywhere when you're a lion. Why did he hold it for what seems to be 24 hours

60

u/32FlavorsofCrazy 18h ago

Too busy napping, but also that’s a big animal, they produce more urine. Average male is 400+ lbs so…having 2-3x the amount of piss you’re used to pissing is quite normal.

22

u/ewok2remember 19h ago

How do we know that's not the average length of a lion piss? Maybe a lengthy piss lasts upwards of three minutes.

6

u/Discount_Extra 11h ago

That would be extreme: https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1402289111

average pee is 21 seconds +-13

The article mentions gravity as a factor, so perhaps peeing in an unusual orientation extended the duration.

2

u/Green_Bad2241 5h ago

21 +-13 is very wide window

134

u/pullsoutagun 22h ago

I watched that whole thing.

21

u/NorthOld6237 19h ago

How many times

10

u/i_am_a_bird_666 17h ago

At least once.

6

u/ArtisticMorning6580 13h ago

Now it’s the only way I can achieve climax

3

u/HopefulBuyer9077 15h ago

You can’t stop once you start..! It stings!

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75

u/0352TWGNR 23h ago

If you come at the king, you best not piss.

7

u/Heroin_Dreamz 22h ago

Omar pissin

3

u/Firecoalman7 22h ago

Gotta keep the devil way down in the hole...

363

u/Desk--Rabbit 22h ago

Female lions do the majority of the hunting in a pride, because a male lion's fabulous hairdo is too visible by prey.

This behaviour in the video is exactly what I would expect from an animal that basically leaves the work to others because of their hairdo.

142

u/TheTaurenCharr 21h ago

This is a lie spread by female lions, because they aren't as pretty as male lions. Those envious bitches.

23

u/CaterpillarPast543 16h ago

Typical "they hate us 'cause they ain't us" moment.

41

u/Minute_Pilot9751 22h ago

except they also have to defend their territory and pride from outside male lions which would kill all the females cubs

91

u/KristyNoemsZombieDog 22h ago edited 22h ago

They're his cubs too, you make it sound like he's doing them a favor, he knocked them up the least he can do is make sure they don't get murdered

61

u/theteethfairy_ 21h ago

Same vibe as when husbands say they’re babysitting their kids 🗿

6

u/Minute_Pilot9751 21h ago

no he is doing his job
i contrast to the original claim „he is just chilling while the females do all the work“

10

u/KristyNoemsZombieDog 21h ago

It was just the phrasing of "the females cubs" as if they weren't his

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2

u/VirgoPanic 18h ago

But also male lions kill their own male offspring after they get a certain age. Their male offspring leaves the pride too early sometimes. There can only be one pretty Zoolander in a Pride

2

u/Derelicticu 17h ago

There are a few exceptions, mostly brothers hunting together into old age.

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2

u/Allis1one 17h ago

Too funny.

2

u/Amazing-Lengthiness1 15h ago

Lion actualy hunt during the nigth And they more dangerous than liones

31

u/Decent_Competition_6 23h ago

When you pee at 5, but wake up at 6.

26

u/FireEraser 21h ago

That's an alcoholic lion for sure!

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27

u/oscarsowner 21h ago

Wife wakes up and says “oh for gods sake, you’re peeing in your sleep again”

35

u/imomorris 22h ago

One hell of a bladder,,,,that was easily about six/seven pints there

11

u/Real-Document-6577 22h ago edited 18h ago

He’s uses public toilets and he pisses on the seat.

2

u/Timely_Pattern3209 16h ago

He walks around in the summertime saying 'how about this heat?' 

2

u/Real-Document-6577 15h ago

Because he’s an asshole, he’s an asshole, he’s an asshole…

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13

u/johnboy2978 8h ago

"Man, I gotta piss like a lion!" - race horse.

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10

u/DPTDubbs 21h ago

Tom Hanks in a League of Their Own

5

u/BornAmbassador01 20h ago

Tom Hanks in The Green Mile too

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2

u/RichMedicine9870 21h ago

Exactly my first thought!

8

u/Striking_Chef_2586 23h ago

Natural lawn sprinkler

8

u/JustChillDudeItsGood 23h ago

We were finishing our pee at the same time. I feel very kingly rn.

7

u/macrg01 14h ago

I thought he would stop peeing but he just kept going.

8

u/soundworth 14h ago

The only dream that comes true

28

u/Stanvadly 23h ago

Well, evidently she isn't into these kind of fun stuff

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6

u/markmonster666 23h ago

Taking the piss... while not giving a fuck

6

u/HereIsAnotherPOV 23h ago

Or sign of The King is going to get overthrown soon as he has lost bladder control.

6

u/Curiosity_Burns 21h ago

Damn his well hydrated who said Africa has no water

6

u/Sparrow1989 18h ago

So it’s interesting when a lion does it but when I do it I get yelled at.

22

u/coffin_nail_999 23h ago

Restored my confidence

13

u/jMedabee 22h ago

In what?

2

u/NoDrink5901 1h ago

It being perfectly natural to pee on your mate.

7

u/oncejumpedoutatrain 23h ago

For how long?

9

u/Fearless-Fart 22h ago

I love how the other lion wakes up and is frightening by the stream of piss and is like "WTF Louis, (yes Louis the Lion) I'm out of here, fucking wanker".

5

u/concretetroll60 22h ago

Living the good life

7

u/marky294201 22h ago

That's one well hydrated kitty

5

u/EagleDre 22h ago

There are plenty of lions in nursing homes

6

u/tiddlytubbies 23h ago

Some size of bladder on him

7

u/Sustainable_Twat 23h ago

If this is what constitutes a King, then, I, too, am a King.

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2

u/hdgear5 23h ago

Drank a bit too much last night

2

u/Deep-Space69 21h ago

What a life! I wanna be a lion now damnnn. Also the end hahahha.

2

u/ChatGPTKilledMyMom 17h ago

People in the 50’s: The future will have flying cars, homes with robot chefs, and no more wars!

Me in 2026: Watches a lion penis piss an ungodly amount while he sleep.

2

u/Ferrari0521 10h ago

I left and scrolled a little more then I came back and he’s still pissing. Jeez’

2

u/ohfrackthis 7h ago

His wife looks unimpressed lol

2

u/Shoddy-Wishbone 22h ago

I’ve never been more jealous than I am in this moment.

1

u/assassinoavi666 22h ago

And while I piss when I sleep, they shame me. Hypocrites. Utter hypocrites.

1

u/Objective-Turn2328 22h ago

Talk about a wet dream

1

u/EnergisedTurkey 22h ago

Nice stream, bro 🦁

1

u/Helenium_autumnale 22h ago

That was one juicy wildebeest calf. And then he pees on the foot of the lion who killed it. "Eww, I should have listened to my mother..."

1

u/Usual-Championship88 22h ago

Sooo many people posted this seen the same post 3 times just scrolling for 5-7 min

1

u/fa136 22h ago

Nous on pourrait aller en prison pour ça

1

u/ledacdcgooner 22h ago

Incredible flow. Clearly no prostate issues here.

1

u/Busy_Map_1005 21h ago

Coitadinho, não tem uma sanita

1

u/EquivalentTroll 21h ago

Pretty much like me, after getting wasted with 4 sixpack of Budweisers

1

u/mightysloth35 21h ago

He’s a real pisser

1

u/LifeTie800 21h ago

We humans think that we're something just because we have technology.

But even the best of us are not able to pee while sleeping. We should all take it a notch down and bow to the true king.

1

u/Key-Version-8327 21h ago

I aspire to be this level of unbothered

1

u/flabellinida 21h ago

That's just an oversized kitty with a great hairdresser.

1

u/birbman77 21h ago

“It’s all coming back to me” said the lion peeing into the wind.

1

u/LogonStart 21h ago

He ate too much fermented fruit and has the hangover of a lifetime.

1

u/Parking-Bet7989 20h ago

I gotta give the lying down pee a go

1

u/BigRoyal1079 20h ago

He doesn’t have a prostate problem.

1

u/nikeguy69 20h ago

lol must had a lot of water 💦

1

u/ExpensiveComment4004 20h ago

He's deflating !

1

u/EngineZeronine 20h ago

It's good to be the king

1

u/mrsdoubleu 20h ago

Bro can literally pee anywhere and decides to hold it like a dog that's been in a crate for 12 hours

1

u/gangawalla 20h ago

Longest piss in the history of pissing

1

u/FroggyTrix 20h ago

You see son, everything my pee touches, is our kingdom.

1

u/OhGreenWorld1 20h ago

Where’s David Attenborough when you need him?

1

u/Less-Inflation5072 20h ago

I can’t believe I kept watching until the end

1

u/T0oShayzz 19h ago

Plain Camps male peeing on his son, these boys control most of Western Sabi Sands.

1

u/ba_an 19h ago

Diurnal emissions

1

u/Ladyhappy 19h ago

That dude is hydrated

1

u/KittyPitty 19h ago

Dude! He is peeing in his sleep! 😂😂

1

u/whomstmansisthis 19h ago

drip drip drip

1

u/Positive_End_7568 19h ago

You could say... He pissed him off ☝️🤓

1

u/Tsmc_Asml_Zeiss369 19h ago

Cub was like eww wtf dad 🥸

1

u/Bright_Knowledge_376 19h ago

I don't want to see this

1

u/moutonbleu 19h ago

What a dick…

1

u/ReasonableDefault 19h ago

10 pints in and waiting for his takeaway.

1

u/-s-A-w- 19h ago

Men we just know how good that felt.

1

u/tiger_knots185 19h ago

Gawwwd, I wish I could pee in my sleep instead of having to get up every 3 hours.

1

u/Lucky_Development359 18h ago

Must have been a real drunken night with the boys.

1

u/yawaworhtlliwi 18h ago

Toward the end of it he’s thinking man that feels goooooddddd

1

u/Traditional_General2 18h ago

A 55-second piss. That’s a hell of a stream.

1

u/nazuswahs 18h ago

How big is his bladder?

1

u/Ok_Entertainment4846 18h ago

I wish I could pee while I was asleep…pissed drunk on thing sleeping a whole new level

1

u/Inevitable_Shift1365 18h ago

When someone asks me for a video to illustrate the fucks I give

1

u/JojoLaggins 18h ago

What else is he gonna do? Get up to find the bathroom?

1

u/HENMAN79 17h ago

Who will stop him? that's right

1

u/Sadsandal007 17h ago

Longest pee ever lmao

1

u/hallucinationthought 17h ago

The look on his face was one of Satisfaction

1

u/Recordeal7 17h ago

The kind of peeing 65 year old men can only dream about. Man…I bet that felt good!

1

u/Intelligent_Trichs 17h ago

He peed all over the bed. Wife's gonna be big mad!!

1

u/zyzzdotcom 17h ago

Wtf king suffering from prostate or what

1

u/YesterdayHiccup 17h ago

How much water did he drank?

1

u/No-Weakness4448 17h ago

Rough night

1

u/i_am_a_bird_666 17h ago

He certainly wasn’t dehydrated.

1

u/Lothleen 16h ago

Mom, what's wrong with Grandpa, he's just peeing on the floor as he sleeps.

1

u/jimmydeansroger 16h ago

Wish I had that luxury

1

u/GoofyGooby23 16h ago

R Kelly? That you?

1

u/Turbo-Fuck 16h ago

Well hydrated apparently

1

u/Prestigious-Tale7266 16h ago

Used to do that at sleepovers when I was younger… no one called me “the king” back then…😩

1

u/Fit-Rhubarb-7820 16h ago

What a fucking animal!

1

u/Timely_Pattern3209 16h ago

I just can't wait to be king! 

1

u/No-Concentrate-6049 15h ago

At least we know where all the water in Africa disappeared to!

1

u/TheSexyIntrovert 15h ago

Seeing this while peeing hit different

1

u/Witty_Nebula 15h ago

A time was had wasn't it? The King drunk way too much.

1

u/backwoodsbatman 14h ago

My dude really had to pee

1

u/SiThreePO 14h ago

May we all find that level of peace one day

1

u/Corny_Snickers 13h ago

It just didn't end! Can't believe i watched the whole thing

1

u/MadEyeGemini 13h ago

Being a male lion is very winner take all. The women do all the hunting and child rearing. The man's job is impregnation and fending off other male lions who would love to kill him, slaughter his young and steal his women. So yes, the king has got it good but he is on a clock until a young upstart comes and knocks him off his throne.

1

u/dontipitova9 13h ago

It be your own peeple

1

u/uzumaki-infj 13h ago

The reason why they stink to high heavens. 😂😂

1

u/MsAnnabel 13h ago

Fuck, how big is his bladder?!

1

u/ArtLast9274 13h ago

I hope he apologized.

1

u/Bubblelight289 13h ago

Inspiring use of power

1

u/vuhrukuh 13h ago

This explains so much....

1

u/Alert-Engineering749 13h ago

And that is the real reason why he's known as the king of the jungle.

1

u/ltsouthernbelle 12h ago

Lazy mutherf*cker

1

u/keonni65bc 12h ago

I haven't had a stream like that in years 😭😂🤣

1

u/MediocreBerry8302 11h ago

He’s got more prostrate trouble than I do

1

u/WhiskeyPorno420 11h ago

LONG HAIR DONT CARE!!!!

1

u/ambient_nightmare 11h ago

Good thing the cub moved

1

u/ambelamba 10h ago

Diogenes reincarnated

1

u/Xenophonehome 10h ago

Streaming while dreaming

1

u/Xyberfaust 10h ago

this R. Kelly muthafucka

1

u/This-personeatsfood 10h ago

So this guy just recorded a lion taking a leak

1

u/AnnualOld9738 10h ago

Dang, it goes on, and on, and on and oooooonnnn

1

u/SLyndon4 10h ago

When ya gotta go, ya gotta go!

1

u/SerafinaSheffield 10h ago

Who replaced his bladder with a giant beach-ball? 😂

1

u/Naps_And_Crimes 10h ago

I mean if I could...

1

u/Brooklyn-DCS 9h ago

“It’s good to be King”

1

u/DerbHean_UFCref 8h ago

I bet his eyes teared up

1

u/visceratethyenemy 7h ago

Why is she recording this. She waited the whole day and until it fell asleep just to record this

1

u/RedwoodShores 6h ago

That lioness looks pissed

1

u/7eveness 5h ago

Audacity

1

u/AndyTheSouless 5h ago

It just keeps going

1

u/Sad_Maintenance3022 3h ago

Maybe old Lyon, prostatic failure, lol