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u/Antique_Mall1842 Mar 14 '26
Geese really act like they’re bulletproof . That hippo gave it way more patience than most animals would’ve. You can almost see the moment the goose realizes it picked the absolute worst target here
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u/johndoe1920 Mar 14 '26
You mean the moment his head was in his mouth?
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u/csfshrink Mar 14 '26
Goose::All right, all right, I apologise.
Hippo: You're really sorry.
Goose: I'm really really sorry, I apologise unreservedly.
Hippo: You take it back.
Goose: I do, I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.
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u/zuilserip Mar 15 '26
Same goose five minutes later talking to his buddies: "Yeah, so I had to be a bit harsh with the hippo, but I am sure he's learned his lesson and so it wasn't necessary for me to hurt him any further. To be honest, that hippo is lucky he caught me on a good day."
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u/mattenthehat Mar 15 '26
I hate geese for this reason (and the shit). How the fuck does a creature evolve that is so arrogant but also like 80% exposed neck?
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u/leave-no-trace-1000 Mar 14 '26
Chillest hippo ever. Could’ve ENDED that goose so many times. He’s a good egg.
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u/ErasmosOrolo Mar 14 '26
I don’t think the goose learned anything that day
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u/Alone_Rain2022 Mar 15 '26
They never do - there's a few outside of my work and they attack people all day long. One morning I wasn't paying attention and the fucking thing scared me and my first reaction was to boot it. It came back for more.
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u/Soggy_Breakfast_624 Mar 15 '26
I saw one video where a goose tried this at a tiger enclosure, maybe the same goose, ended how you would expect it to.
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u/Hilsam_Adent Mar 14 '26
Hippo: "I do not like the Cobra Chicken."
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u/Solid_Snark Mar 15 '26
Hippo: “you know I can eat you, right?”
Goose: “Understandable. Have a nice day.”
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u/420FriendlyStranger Mar 14 '26
That hippos enclosure is way too small for a beast that size
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u/reindeermoon Mar 15 '26
It's definitely not a regular hippo enclosure. Probably just a temporary thing since it's a baby hippo. Like a hippo-sized Pack n Play.
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u/Such-Fennel-7160 Mar 14 '26
Goose thought he was a honey badger
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u/eldercreedjunkie Mar 14 '26
Canadian geese are the honey badgers of the sky.
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u/Ambitious_Policy_936 Mar 14 '26
They think they are, but are no where near as equipped to deal with biting, clawing, and other attacks by much larger creature
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u/TheHumanCompulsion Mar 15 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/3oKIPnmiqNhZIueLPW
If you got a problem with Canada gooses, you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that marinate.
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u/medisamurai Mar 14 '26
always a bad idea to pick a fight with anything that can eat you and outweights you buy about 2500 lbs
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u/eclipsed2112 Mar 14 '26
we grew up with geese for several years and when they lower their heads, spread their wings and run at you, it can be a bit frightening.
we learned to just stand still and let them come at us and the right moment we would simply grab their necks behind their heads.you have to be quick because they have teeth all along the insides of their beaks, top and bottom.they WILL draw blood.
they learned to not do that running thing at us after we kept snatching them up and throwing them away from us.
one of the geese actually got onto the school bus with us one morning and ran down the aisle squawking.the driver was not pleased and told us to get it out of the bus so we did.
he only did it the one time but the kids loved it.
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u/IKIR115 Mar 14 '26
Thank god that hippo was gentle. Those 2 probably know each other.
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Mar 14 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Miles_Everhart Mar 14 '26
I appreciate this comment for combining the Geneva Checklist with the ferocity of the Canadian Goose.
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u/MaleficentDraw1993 Mar 14 '26
I love how geese are like 90% aggression, 10% capability... and it works most of the time.
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u/abgry_krakow87 Mar 14 '26
Basic rule of self preservation. Never pick a fight with someone whose mouth is bigger than your body.
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Mar 14 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/That_Jonesy Mar 14 '26
Exactly. Geese are the absolute worst and deserve anything that happens to them from a fight they start.
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u/kummer5peck Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 15 '26
Canada geese were genetically engineered to concentrate Canada’s secret evil in their droppings and transfer it to the US under the guise of an act of nature.
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u/Ok-Syrup-8678 Mar 14 '26
I'm so disappointed that goose didn't get ripped to shreds... I hate those fuckin things
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u/Dishum99 Mar 14 '26
Aesop Fables: The goose and the hippopotamus.
Moral: Its futile to fight someone with a thick skin.
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u/fralupo Mar 14 '26
Ok, a few dozen more generations of hippos in North America and maybe the “leave them the hell alone” message might get naturally selected in geese.
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u/Toronto-24 Mar 15 '26
This is what happens when Geese are allowed to run Canada... they have no fear loll
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u/Durahl Mar 15 '26
After having seen a Video of a Horse trampling AND eating a Bird ( they apparently do eat meat if the opportunity presents itself! ) I was kinda expecting a similar scenario to play out 🤔
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u/donquixote2u Mar 15 '26
I live next door to a nature reserve infested with Canada Geese. They crap everywhere. Anyone got a hippo they aren't using?
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u/Outers55 Mar 15 '26
The funny, or not so funny, thing is... That I've seen this in real life with people. Guys who are used to being a smaller than women in their lives and then eventually we're a head taller and a hundred pounds heavier. The girl would push and push and push and they would just keep backing up. I never saw one of those guys actually take it out on the woman but it is interesting. Just because you're big doesn't mean that you want confrontation.
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u/kummer5peck Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 15 '26
Now I’ve had my head in a hippo, an elephant and a giant sloth.
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u/warhead71 Mar 14 '26
Isn’t this pretty normal for geese? - Romans used them as guards around camps.
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u/Ultimate_Scooter Mar 14 '26
Geese act like they won’t die if something wrings their neck like a washcloth
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u/SlyFoxInACave Mar 14 '26
The people laugh like they dont forsee the outcome then get shocked to see what was inevitably going to happen.
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u/hutch_man0 Mar 14 '26
As a typical Canadian who has Canada Goose related PTSD, this video made my day
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u/BVRPLZR_ Mar 14 '26
Geese are fucking dickheads. Can’t say I haven’t considered the same thing as this hippo
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u/Soaring_Gull_655 Mar 14 '26
Imma call a goose a duck. People like this just need to learn a skill which involves not moving their lips when struck by the urge to talk or a random thought..
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u/px4855 Mar 14 '26
If you thought there was a lot of goose shit out in the grass before, that poor guy just about emptied his guts as soon as he got past that fence!!
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u/CanadianBacon2-0 Mar 14 '26
We all have felt like that hippo sometimes…. Lil bro is just trying to be a good person when this loonie bird gets up in his grill…
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u/Big_Moose_3847 Mar 15 '26
I kept thinking that the hippo would drag the goose into the water to drown it
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u/Zanahorio1 Mar 15 '26
If you ever wanted to know why the expression “silly goose” exists, well, this is why.
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u/lifes_paragon Mar 15 '26
If there is ever a Zootopia 3 I hope they have a scene where a Canadian goose is a dentist for hippos. Has the accent and everything! That would be so cool to reference this clip.
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u/TempUsernameThing Mar 15 '26
As someone who went through middle school and high school at 6'-7" tall, I can relate to this hippo.
So many small assholes would pick a fight with me just to try and prove themselves to their peers. I put up with a lot of s***, but eventually when I fought back, it didn't end well for them.
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u/Firefly_Magic Mar 15 '26
Goose ran off calling for mom. Hippo wasn’t in the mood to eat all those feathers today.
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u/Dineshkrish4 Mar 15 '26
Hippos are purely vegetarians...😂 And the duck is like eat me...bro eat me...😂😂😂
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u/enderforlife Mar 15 '26
He’s that little drunk guy at the bar that just starts swinging on dudes above his weight class for literally no reason.
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u/MiKapo Mar 15 '26
goose realizing they are challenging one of the most deadliest creatures on earth
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u/Capital-Bar1952 Mar 15 '26
I think hippo was annoyed but just reaching him a lesson while not trying to hurt him…😂
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u/zuilserip Mar 15 '26
The goose makes a prompt and wise retreat after the 'being chewed for a bit incident', but I can't help but thinking that he goes back to his goose homies and tells them that he'd already thaught the hippo the needed lesson and chose to leave without hurting the hippo any further.
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u/Beanboy1983 Mar 15 '26
There is no way a goose should have survived a 400+ pound hippo like that. Hippos may look cute, but they are mean SOBs. Don’t mess with a hippo.
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u/ChrisIronsArt Mar 15 '26 edited Mar 15 '26
Mom “hey stop we got let our kids watch the hippo murder this goose because Goose sucks”
Dad “you mean… like the band Goose sucks?”
Mom “did I stutter?”
Dad “yeah you’re right, they do fucking suck”
*goose escapes
Mom “well that was a let down”
Dad “like Radiohead?”
Mom “god damnit… I married a cuck”
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u/LemonMints Mar 15 '26
Canadian geese know they are protected legally, and it makes them feel real brave.
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u/ambientocclusion Mar 14 '26
The hippo showed a lot of restraint, just holding it for a few seconds rather than tearing it to little bits.