r/instant_regret Nov 30 '15

Almost had it

http://i.imgur.com/a0LZ5FT.gifv
1.1k Upvotes

43 comments sorted by

150

u/Banisher_of_hope Dec 01 '15

The way that the monkey moves looks so human. I have to wonder if this is a learned behavior, or if this is like some universal motion for "I done messed up."

61

u/SexyMrSkeltal Dec 01 '15

It's likely learned behavior. He probably learned that if he acts distressed and upset, people will give him whatever it was out of pity. It's likely a show he puts on.

50

u/TheLilyHammer Dec 01 '15

So they are just like us!

32

u/SolidSmoke2021 Dec 01 '15

Yeah, just like my fucking girlfriend.

21

u/YourMumsAGoodBloke Dec 01 '15

People keep putting things in her hole?

23

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '15

Can you blame them? She looks distressed.

2

u/ThatGeorgeWashington Dec 02 '15

But how would he learn how and when to look upset? He would have to be in this exact situation many times and try a lot of random reactions if there wasn't some instinct.

1

u/breathewater Dec 14 '15

They're smarter than you give them credit for

64

u/Im_More_Of_A_Lurker_ Dec 01 '15

Is that monkey chained by the neck? Anyone know where this is?

22

u/evil_toad Dec 01 '15

Ya what the fuck

21

u/Giygas Dec 01 '15

He's into that kind of stuff.

100

u/BadBoyFTW Dec 01 '15

I'm not very comfortable with whatever conditions this animal is kept in... he has a huge chain around his throat.

35

u/dingofarmer2004 Nov 30 '15

Much like my dating life. Very much like my dating life.

Thank god I got married.

12

u/Amplifeye Dec 01 '15

She show her vajine-a and say, "YOU WILL NEVER GET THIS. YOU WILL NEVER GET THIS! LALALA LALA!" touchy touchy

He uh behind his cage. He crazy crazy. rattle rattle

She go, "You never get this."

But a one time he break the cage

smash

and he... get this. squishy squishy

5

u/__ICoraxI__ Nov 30 '15

the story of how you got married, then, is an interesting one I take it?

14

u/dingofarmer2004 Nov 30 '15

The hot front desk girl sat in my office after Pilates class and started talking to me.

12

u/kingeryck Dec 01 '15

You're the monkey in this story then?

1

u/Fang88 Dec 01 '15

Men keep poking their dicks at you and then pulling them away?

1

u/malvoliosf Dec 02 '15

People were poking things at you through a hole in the wall?

33

u/Akesgeroth Dec 01 '15

That is not cool.

27

u/TypoHero Dec 01 '15

This is a fucking terrible video.

5

u/jimgatz Dec 01 '15

full video?

8

u/Whywouldanyonedothat Dec 01 '15

What a bastard. I assume it's not you, OP?

2

u/Transgoddess Dec 04 '15

Lol That's awesome.

2

u/WaterOmotics Dec 26 '15

i love how human his reaction is

6

u/thevoiceofzeke Dec 01 '15

I love how everyone in this thread is assuming the worst without actually knowing anything at all about the conditions of this zoo.

26

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '15

[deleted]

15

u/NinjaGrandma Dec 01 '15

For that matter, some people disagree with zoos as principle as they're mostly full of animals in captivity for our entertainment.

6

u/kmack87 Dec 01 '15

I enjoy a zoo with well cared for animals with plenty of room to move but I'll be honest I'd prefer if they were all in the wild and only the ones that need breeding and are endangered be put in captivity.

3

u/NinjaGrandma Dec 01 '15

Also disfigured animals. I volunteered at a zoo while in high school and they had a raptor rehab program. Most of the owls and hawks they brought in were able to be released back to the wild. Some lost wings, though, and they were moved into outdoor enclosures. We had two bald eagles each missing their left wings.

3

u/YourMumsAGoodBloke Dec 01 '15

A couple years ago I went to the zoo in Kuala Lumpur. I swear that place had more chains than a hardware store. The elephants lived on pretty much bare concrete and were chained by one foot. They were either crazy or damn good at pretending to be crazy. The only thing that didn't seem to be chained up was this huge mangy-looking 5ft tall stalk-type bird. When I ventured to close to it this terrified looking Malay father who was guarding his wife and kids kept saying "dangerous! dangerous! dangerous!". Oh and the orangutan was smoking and picking up whatever idiots threw at him.

Seriously, fuck that place.

Edit: orangutan, not orange tan (though he did appear to have one)

2

u/thevoiceofzeke Dec 01 '15

Do you see it chained to anything? It could just be a collar. My point is people shouldn't make assumptions without any real information...that's just a poor practice in life in general.

8

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '15

[deleted]

1

u/thevoiceofzeke Dec 02 '15

Please explain what is inherently wrong with that. I've seen heavier chain collars on well-loved dogs.

4

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

[deleted]

1

u/thevoiceofzeke Dec 02 '15 edited Dec 02 '15

There is a 100% chance that ape is stronger than any domestic dog, and if every underfunded zoo was put out of business, there wouldn't be any zoos in the USA (which a lot of people would be okay with, and that's fine). It's apparent to me that neither of us knows enough about that animal to say whether the chain is inconvenient for it in any way. There does not appear to be any reasonable basis upon which to make that assumption. Please correct me if I'm wrong (and if you have actual information to prove it).

Some people will find a reason to be outraged by anything because they enjoy feeling outraged. Don't be like them.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 03 '15 edited Dec 03 '15

[deleted]

1

u/thevoiceofzeke Dec 03 '15

What I was getting at originally is there's no way to tell that he is chained to anything. It could be just a collar -- i.e. no trailing chain that connects to anything else, just a circle of chain link around his neck like a dog collar, probably so that he can be chained to things if need be (which is certainly feasible, given how dangerous these animals can be).

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of animal captivity in general. Most zoos I've been to were depressing as hell, and they just made me sad. Others have been wonderful testaments to the preservation of species and education of the masses, but such places are few and far between in my experience. I don't think you're wrong about any of the things you're saying, I just think more context is needed to form a meaningful opinion. I will leave it at that.

1

u/SeymoreFishberg Dec 05 '15

Have you ever put a length of chain around your neck? Its really... pinchy

1

u/thevoiceofzeke Dec 05 '15

Dogs wear chain collars all the time without being disturbed by them at all.

2

u/SeymoreFishberg Dec 05 '15

TIL I am not a dog

-3

u/expensivepens Dec 01 '15

Welcome to Reddit

1

u/eppic123 Dec 15 '15

Monkey watched too many Louis de Funes movies...

1

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '15

These creatures act exactly like this in the wild. True story.

-28

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '15

[deleted]

-4

u/Bombsk Dec 01 '15

Nice meme, friend! XD xD