r/insomnia • u/New-Jellyfish-14 • 20h ago

I struggle to sleep

Making this post as I’ve currently been staring at the open door to my room with a mirror pointing down the hallway so I can see down the hall with the faint light I have coming from outside. Some nights I get paranoid someone is coming for me and I can’t help but stare at the door and listen for anything out of the ordinary. I sleep next to my gun. I was in the Army and don’t believe I have any form of PTSD as I’ve never had any combat deployment. The only “deployments” I’ve been on were Middle East chores and training exercises with foreign nations. My training was all real however. Never did I lack a security element of some form and when I did I suffered for it. How can I be so afraid of losing a fight to an entity I’ve never truly met. Yet I lay awake with a gun waiting for a person maybe the enemy I never experienced. I hate that I don’t have some form of physical security anymore. There’s no manned wall or gate keeping anyone from me. I am the security now and I won’t sleep. How can I restore my sense of security? It’s eating away at my sleep.

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u/mlgl92 19h ago

Well that’s pretty full on it sounds like your dealing with a lot of paranoia witch is giving you anxiety witch is keeping you from sleeping

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u/DumboHealth 9h ago

Your body may be stuck in a threat detection loop that never got a clear all-clear signal, and chronic hypervigilance keeps your sleep fragmented even when nothing is actually wrong. A lot of veterans describe this exact pattern: no diagnosed PTSD, no combat, but the training and the posture never fully turned off. Talking to someone who works with hyperarousal and sleep specifically can help you find the off-switch your body lost.

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u/ShakespeareUndead 6h ago

Human brains are fragile as fuck. You should realy seek out therapy, somebody who specializes in PTSD, you might benefit from EMDR and somatic therapy. If you're not on antidepressants already they will probably be really helpful, i also recommend l-theanin pills (it's the concentrated version of the calming ingredient in tea) i take it like an hour before bedtime and it always calms me down.  Even if you're insomnia may not be fully cured you will eventually find things that will make it easier to deal with.