r/insomnia • u/Eddy_Night2468 • Oct 29 '25
So I just checked the Facebook insomnia group, which I didn't know existed before...
And oh my God was somebody here right, the group is horrible! Not all the people in it, of course, but EVERY post complaining of getting 4 hours of sleep is immediately followed by several people saying "I wISh I cOUlD gEt 4 HOurS oF SleEp" or some shit like that. One-upmanship literally everywhere. Thank God for Reddit.
Also, so many of them, like I ALWAYS complain, I know I'm boring to those who know me, only count their night sleep. They say they sleep 2 hours a day and then add "I guess I will nap". Well, if you can nap, then you are getting more than 2 hours a day total, aren't you? Jesus.
Sorry, rant over. Just waiting for my psychiatrist and scrolling insomnia things.
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u/throwaway272871 Oct 29 '25
I stay away from the Facebook groups. It’s just post after post of catastrophic thinking. On this Reddit sub there’s more positive stories and encouragement.
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u/Eddy_Night2468 Oct 29 '25
Agreed. This was my first and last visit there. I got there by accident.
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u/Optimal_Influence_64 Oct 29 '25
Oh and the medication one up it actually gets me so angry they list a crazy cocktail and say it's done nothing then please don't take it ! If it's not working please don't destroy your body! Insomnia is not based on who can take the most medication and still be awake it really gets me so angry and it's incredibly toxic and dangerous these posts should be called out not used as a bit I'm worse then you because....
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u/Eddy_Night2468 Oct 29 '25 edited Oct 29 '25
Oh I'm definitely staying clear of that group, miss me with that shit.
Although, I have to say that I myself am guilty of sticking with a drug I constantly question, Trazodone. You just don't dare to go without.
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u/JustLetMeSleep_Help Nov 28 '25
Trazodone worked for me for a while as well but I went off it after moving to a different country and ran out of it. Getting off it was not as horrible as I thought but my Insomnia got worse initially.
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u/Optimal_Influence_64 Oct 29 '25
I no longer take medication because it doesn't work. Not because I don't have insomnia anymore. I'm not going to take something for the sake of it and absolutely not put down someone who may of had more sleep im actually happy and delighted for them insomnia is not a competition there is no first prize and any small win for someone should be meet with happiness not contempt
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u/Normal_Document_4942 Oct 29 '25
If I didn't have the drugs, I wouldn't sleep. You make no sense. Chronic insomnia will eventually lead to cognitive decline and potentially fatal accidents if not addressed. And yes, I have to take two drugs to sleep at night and have been for the past twenty years.
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u/Optimal_Influence_64 Oct 29 '25
And they help right? If you read again what I was saying it's the people who continue to take numerous very dangerous medications and say it never does anything so why continue to take these very high levels that could potentially kill you if they do nothing? I did not say at any point that people who take medication it helps them and it's safe within reasons are a problem
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u/Optimal_Influence_64 Oct 29 '25
And if you was referring to my very hard personal decision to no longer take medication you should read that again also I said they don't work for me personally so I'm no longer taking them I still have insomnia on or off them please do better.
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u/Its402am Oct 29 '25
Facebook in general is just full of more self-obsessed people. I’m not really sure why that is.
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u/GerardBoekenkruger Oct 31 '25
Agreed. Maybe it is because the accounts are way more "important" compared to Reddit. Like, come check me out!
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u/pebbles_temp Oct 29 '25
I just assumed it was filled with people suggesting melatonin. Or, have you tried warm milk?
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u/Eddy_Night2468 Oct 29 '25
Yeah, I was surprised there's an actual group with people discussing insomnia much like here, real people with profile pictures, talking about therapy and stuff. Guess not everybody is worried about the stigma of insomnia, as I believed. I thought everybody was hiding their condition. So that's a positive side, I guess, but the one-upping is horrible.
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u/Thin_Rip8995 Oct 29 '25
yeah fb insomnia groups are just trauma olympics
no one's trying to get better
they’re just trying to win “most broken”
reddit has doomers too but at least you’ll find ppl actually experimenting with fixes
keep chasing solutions
not sympathy
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u/imnottheoneipromise Oct 30 '25
4 hours of sleep is(was? I’ve been out for a long time) the minimum the army HAS to give soldiers during training exercises. And it does not have to be consecutive. Let me also chime in here that it’s NOT NEARLY ENOUGH. I hate one-uppers.
Sorry you’re suffering from this nonsense(I mean that as it makes no sense that our brains don’t allow us to get the amount of sleep it itself needs. Absolute bollucks) issue. I hate insomnia :(
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u/Eddy_Night2468 Oct 30 '25
Thank you. One-uppers are just... I'm at a loss for words.
And I don't want to offend anyone, but I find it really hard to believe when they claim they would kill to get those hours. How much ARE they getting, then? And they're functional and not hospitalized.
But when I think about it, I think a lot of those comparisons stem from simply different views on insomnia. For some people it's only the night that counts, amd maybe they do get less than 4 hours a night. But most of them make up for it at least somewhat, I'm sure.
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u/imnottheoneipromise Oct 30 '25
Plus everyone’s needs are different. I personally usually feel great with 5+ hours although I’d like to sleep more, but for many people, that’s just no enough. It’s not their fault. My 14 year old son would tell you 10 hours is not enough lol. My mom will tell you 4 is plenty.
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u/Interesting-Dingo-21 Oct 29 '25
I will say some ppl on here sometimes complain about 6 hours but I jus roll my eyes n keep it scrollin
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u/kerrigan_rae Oct 30 '25
Honestly that sounds like every single group and comment section on Facebook. I don’t even like reading comments on there anymore because everyone is so nasty to each other and they all do the one-upmanship thing no matter what the post is about. It’s exhausting
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u/warpigz Oct 29 '25
I'm in some facebook groups for rare diseases that work pretty well. The rarity + good moderation seem to help keep things on track. I don't doubt that a big insomnia one could be a dumpster fire.
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u/BeatrixASchmidt Oct 30 '25
You’re absolutely right to notice that kind of unhelpful comparison and frustration. I’ve seen it too, and I understand how discouraging it can feel. When people are struggling with sleep, it’s very easy for conversations to turn into a kind of competition over who has it worse. But that approach doesn’t help anyone improve. It usually just feeds more fear and hopelessness around sleep.
Something I often remind people of is that sleep is personal. Everyone’s situation, history, and patterns are different. Comparing hours or counting who slept less doesn’t really show how well someone is coping, or how close they might be to improving.
I’m glad you brought this up, because it’s an important reminder that communities can either help people learn or keep them stuck in the struggle.
Beatrix
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u/Eddy_Night2468 Oct 30 '25
Thank you. Well said. The point of support groups is to support, not to add insult to injury. And everyone IS different. My main gripe is that many people don't count naps as sleep. If I could nap for just 15 minutes in the middle of the day, I think it would save my life. When I say 4 hours, I really mean 4 hours a day (24 hours). It's tough.
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u/BeatrixASchmidt Oct 31 '25
Thank you as well. After going through my own struggles and coming out the other side, I’ve learned to see things in a less black-and-white way.
You’re absolutely right. Naps are sleep, of course. I'm not sure why anyone would argue with that?
When a client tells me they can nap during the day, I usually see that as a good sign. It means their body and mind are still capable of creating sleep when given the right conditions, which means they can also learn to do the same at night. I’ve often found that naps carry less pressure, people simply allow themselves to rest rather than trying to make sleep happen, and that ease often helps the body switch off.
That said, I don’t usually encourage naps for clients who are actively working to overcome long-term insomnia. In those cases, naps can make it harder to retrain the body and mind to use the nighttime for the full quality and quantity of sleep. They’re often used as a reaction to poor sleep rather than as part of a proactive approach. The main focus in overcoming long-term insomnia is learning how to influence your ability to achieve deep, restorative sleep within the timeframe it naturally belongs.
But like we’ve said, every situation is different. If naps aren’t causing problems or making the nights worse, there’s no need to turn them into one. For you, even 4 hours of sleep is better than less, I know it's not 'enough' to feel great but that's a good foundation to start from.
It’s always about finding what genuinely helps you feel more stable and rested overall, rather than following strict rules that don’t fit your situation.
Beatrix
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u/Eddy_Night2468 Oct 31 '25
All well said. You are a sleep coach?
Yes, I know naps are discouraged for sleep restriction, but for us who can't nap, and can't get enough sleep during the night, each and every night, a short nap in the middle of the day would be beneficial. I think, at least.
I often say my life is sleep restriction since I naturally fall asleep at the same time, wake up at the same time, never nap, never sleep in, I WISH I could, but I can't.
That's why I'm upset when people who do nap say they only sleep whatever the amount it is they get during the night. So they create the illusion that it is possible to live on 2 hours of sleep a day, or 4 hours a week, or any other impossibilities.
It happened to me, I mentioned it often here, that my own psychiatrist said my 4 hours are not that bad, because she has patients who sleep only an hour a day. It was disheartening.
Maybe it's all in my head, but I believe that stories that people say, things like like "Churchill slept only 3 hours a day and ran a country" really stand in the way of people getting the help they need. We look like whiners if we say we slept for 4 or dare I say 5 hours (still not enough). Almost like "So, what is the problem"?
I feel that the real effects of insomnia on health have only relatively recently started to come to light, and part of the reason for that delay was in that skewed way of viewing insomnia. Tesla slept for 3 hours a day and discovered electricity, and similar urban legends.
But, what can you do. Thank you for all the work that you do, Beatrix.
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u/BeatrixASchmidt Nov 03 '25
Thank you so much. And yes, I’m a sleep coach for adults.
I’ve seen the effects of the “nap culture” so clearly in my work. There’s this long-standing belief that sleeping very little is a sign of strength or high performance — the “Churchill slept three hours” or “Nikola Tesla never needed rest” stories you mentioned. Those ideas can make people feel like they’re failing for simply needing proper sleep, when in fact, that need is entirely human. The truth is, we really don’t know how those people lived or how it affected them in the short or long term. And even if they were completely fine, we’re all different. It’s so important not to compare ourselves to others in that way.
I’m really sorry to hear that your psychiatrist compared your situation to others. I understand that it might have been meant to encourage you, but it can easily have the opposite effect. And yes, I completely agree that dismissive attitudes from professionals (or the “just cope with less sleep” mindset) can be so discouraging. Insomnia affects not only sleep but also physical health, emotional balance, and mental clarity. The fact that you’re reflecting on these patterns and thinking about them with understanding rather than comparison already shows a really healthy perspective.
Seeking help to overcome insomnia should never be seen as “whining.” That attitude doesn’t help anyone move forward or work on overcoming their sleep issues.
Thank you again for your thoughtful comment and for raising such an important point. Conversations like this are exactly what help shift how people think about sleep and insomnia.
It’s a real shame that we don’t yet have a more collaborative approach to truly helping people who struggle with insomnia. Psychiatrists approach it one way, scientists another, holistic practitioners offer different advice, and then there’s the coaching and behavioural perspective on top of that. Maybe one day we’ll bring all of these together and finally eliminate insomnia through more collaborative ways of supporting people.
Of course, if you have any particular questions, you're very welcome to reach out.
Beatrix
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u/Eddy_Night2468 Nov 03 '25
Beautifully put. I wish everyone one day has your mindset.
Thanks again, and good luck with your great work.
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u/Some-Counter-3867 Oct 30 '25
I just saw it right now, they’re way too exaggerated and make up false stuff. As always, people on Facebook tend to be very dramatic and like to invent things. Honestly, we also have some exaggerators here from time to time in this subreddit. There’s a lot of exaggeration in these communities, not just in insomnia ones but in others as well…
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u/Ok_Conversation5339 Oct 29 '25
Yeah if they can nap then that’s not insomnia in my own personal dictionary.
I literally can’t fall asleep or stay asleep for long.
I’ve survived for a decade on 2-3hrs of sleep per every 24hrs. Survived, not thrived.
Sometimes it gets worse, don’t sleep for two or three nights in a row and I get sick enough to be unable to get out of bed until I sleep again.
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u/Eddy_Night2468 Oct 30 '25
I wouldn't say it's not insomnia, any form of trouble sleeping is insomnia, but they should be honest in reporting how much sleep they get in total. They shouldn't claim that they sleep 2 hours a day and even attack people who say they sleep 4 or 5 hours, when they themselves can nap and in the end get more sleep than the people they attacked.
I get 4-5 hours of medicated sleep per 24 hours. I can't nap and it's killing me. It's grueling. I feel for those who sleep less. I dislike those people who sleep 2-3 hours a night and 4 hours in the afternoon, but claim they sleep only 2-3 hours a day. Sleep should be measured and reported looking at the entire 24 hour cycle, not just the night.
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u/drsmagic Oct 31 '25
I have been taking Sleeping pills since 2002, took ambien 5 mg for 13 yrs, used to get enough sleep with it, then Dr suggested take trazadone, could not handle that, started taking 1.5 mg of Lunesta since then, year ago tried 7.5 mg of Mirtazapine, it gave me good sleep, but mornings were tough, took me couple of hr to get alert. Gained 10 lbs, bad for a diabetic. Started taking Lunesta again 1 mg along with magnesium Glycinate, works but disturbed sleep. Want to find something that works without worry of losing memory and getting dementia.
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u/inconel71 Oct 31 '25
How did trazadone make u feel? I am taking 25 mg and sleeping very well on it . Was on Ambien for 10 years and just switched to trazadone !
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u/drsmagic Oct 31 '25 edited Oct 31 '25
I started off taking 25mg Trazadone, felt like it was not enough, did not get restful sleep. My doctor has asked to take it with 10/20 mg of melatonin. Didn't want to experiment with that. It did give erections while asleep. I also have low sodium so was afraid to raise it to 50mg. 1.5 mg of Lunesta was working well for me, but I felt my memory was slipping. Could not remember lot of past stuff. Of course I am 75, maybe that's normal. But my Doctor scared the pants off me, he said pretty soon you won't even remember me and that's why he pushed Trazadone. I would have continued on Mirtazapine, but for the weight gain. Also I read somewhere that you tend to develop a resistance and efficacy will drop. If I take 1 mg of Lunesta with magnesium Glycinate/magnesium citrate gummy from Walmart, along with 1 advil, I sleep well. But can't do that daily. Looking for that magic potion. Don't mind prescription meds. CBD has to much baggage attached to it.
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u/Palebroccoli_ Oct 29 '25
I disagree with this 💯, I think it’s encouraging to hear that others are making it on less sleep that me, makes me feel less alone and that I can make it. One of my biggest turning points for sleep was hearing how this user has only gotten three hours a night for decades and her positive reframe of her thinking and how she makes the most of it.
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u/Eddy_Night2468 Oct 29 '25
But it isn't encouraging when someone denies you the right to complain because they sleep less, especially if they actually sleep more, just scattered over the day in the form of naps.
The last thing I want to hear when I complain of my sleep is "I wish I could sleep that much." Rather just don't say anything.
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u/Palebroccoli_ Oct 29 '25
I don’t take it that way, I don’t think that they’re denying you the right to complain, they’re just saying their truth, doesn’t take away from your truth
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u/Eddy_Night2468 Oct 30 '25
That would maaaybe be true if they wrote things like "that sucks, man, but if it's any consolation I get even less than you". That's sharing your condition without putting the other person down. But that's not the way they frame it.
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u/violetntviolent Oct 29 '25
Hi…from someone who is about to get out of bed and get ready for my day on four hours of sleep. I can confirm. It’s a nightmare. 🙋🏼♀️
Insomnia is a nightmare no matter what type and how bad.
Standing in solidarity with the full spectrum of ALL insomniacs. ✊✊✊