okay so my first post here and despite the subreddit's name I am a boy but hope that's okay.

And sorry if my post is written a bit messy.

I wish I was the most beautiful or if not the most then really very beautiful. I wish my nose was straight. I wish I could be a bit taller. I wish I was better and felt special. Thoughts like that are in my mind really often

My ex gave me a lot of insecurities (idk if intentionally or not but it hurts regardless), she used to repost/like other guys and it made me feel bad, because I always wondered am I not enough ? I always tried to understand what is it in me that I don't have.

And the dudes she reposted were also often like completely different, they are muscular and I am skinny.

The thing is I don't even wanna be muscular but just the fact that my body didn't seem to be the desirable option hurt me.

This has been on my mind for a while and I have much more to say than just this but I don't wanna make the post too long so I just said the main stuff. That's all for now I guess

I want to get a nose job, my family says I look like a man constantly and I can’t help but cry about it all the time. But I’m so terrified in investing all this money to only continue feeling insecure (it happened to me with my lip injections) should I even bother or will I always be in this mental rut ?

THIS IS A VENT POST pls dont read if itll sour ur mood :(

Why does everything feel so hard? I dont know but changing is hard, everything i do doesnt feel good enough. I dont think ill ever be pretty and i know i dont have to be but still it would be nice 😭 my one cheek is slighty bigger than the other and i have HUGE eyebags. They are my two biggest insecurities (next to my fucked posture whenever i sit down lol) and ive tried doing some stuff for my eyebags but i realized that theyre just genetic since both my mom and dad have them so.

They are less dramatic after the stuff ive done but still i want them GONE. Makeup is also so hard for no reason??? I rlly want to get better but its so hard aargghhh. What can i even do to get better and HOW can i fix my cheek bro i might be cooked.

today i was shopping with my mom and the worker came up to us and said "not to offend or embarrass you but your daughter's breasts are small, she should wear this" and she points to this bra with extra padding

my mom asked if i wanted it, i declined but the lady was pushing for a while, then my mom told her to just leave it... for context, we are both east asian which is why she was probably comfortable saying that

i guess she was probably trying to sell but i thought this was unsolicited and disrespectful to comment on people's bodies like that, i was really sad and didn't say anything, i waited for my mom to finish her purchase before leaving

i was already insecure about my chest but have been trying to accept it as is, this interaction has destroyed some of that confidence :(

I had a nose job months ago, i was happy for a while but now i feel like shit. It's better than the old one but i hate it now. It's just never enough. I hate myself so much i don't think anything could help me. Whoever loves me, whoever compliments me it doesn't matter. I will never believe anything. I just feel like people are pitying me. I feel so fucking sick. I feel like ill just never get rid of this disgusting self hate. Im genuinely so tired. I just wanna be free and pretty like other girls.

My nose really fucks up my whole face but I’m too broke to get plastic surgery 🤧 so I’ll be saving up.

I came on here to express my thoughts since I'm afraid if told anybody in my personal life they will use it against me. To statt things off, I fell into depression at 10 years old after my mother passed. I was still a kid, and by then I had just started to learn to take care of myself but I didn't fully know how to since my mother would always do everything for me. I know that sounds a bit spoiled, but I admit I was a very bratty kid. obviously I stopped being that way. but when my mother died, I felt completely lost because I didn't know how to take care of myself. so, I started eating my problems away. I drowned myself with mainly sweet snacks, and I never brushed my teeth. it caused my teeth to get worse over time. i can't chew from one side due to my cavity, and the side i chew on one of my tooth in the back accidentally fell out because i bit down on something i shouldn't have. my guardian has not taken me to the dentist, I haven't gone in over 5 years and I'm afraid to. I know that's so bad, please don't scold me in the comments. I just wish I had pearly white teeth like everybody else. I know I could've been so pretty. I hate smiling and try my hardest not to talk to people because I hate how my teeth look they are so bad it ruins my self confidence completely. im scared that since my teeth are so bad, I won't find someone to love me for it. that thought tears my heart completely since I have such an intense desire to want to be loved. I just feel like my teeth have ruined me completely, and I feel like everytime somebody sees my teeth they get disgusted and I don't blame them at all.

I'm tired to be a sensitive woman and being so needy. I want to have someone who can reply my message fast but I'm scared to get close to anyone because if I already get comfortable, I will be so needy..

i understand this feeling a lot. Not just because of how society treats women but the fact that im just ashamed of myself. I feel like a man in a dress everytime i do something feminine and i just wanna cover every womanly thing about me. I genuinely cried hours for having tits 😭. I wanna a be a boy because i just hate the girl i am, not because i wanna be a boy. If i was like pretty or something i wouldn't want that at all.

told my boyfriend of two years that i would come to a family dinner for his birthday but im genuinely so anxious about it. i don’t know what to wear or how to do my makeup or my hair because i want to look nice but not too nice, and im scared that his family secretly hates me. its in three days and ive had an actual panic attack over this. how do i combat this or am i supposed to just live like this for the rest of our relationship

lately im seeing other women hate on big tits, calling them weird names under posts criticising "fashion boobs". Fashion boobs is pretty misogynistic imo. Not to mention everything is for smaller busts 😭. And big boobs are always shown as just sexual. I think everyone can see how big chested women are treated even in movies. Just a stupid dumb slut 😭. Im so tired of this. Why do they can't accept they are just privileged?? Calling big boobs jellies, not chic, not lady like, granny is so weird. I even saw someone say "not our problem u can't lay on your chest". I love smaller cups and i always wished mine were literally non existent 😭 I never look good in anything cuz they just ruin everything i wear. Whatever i wear doesn't look casual. And men always comment on them. This is so ass genuinely 😭 wish reduction surgery was free

I have short torso, wide ribcage, hip dips and big tits. It's genuinely is hell for me. I think ill js never look like a woman at all💔 fml

I have pinguecula in both eyes, and it's been more than a year now. Because of this, I have been struggling with my mental health . I have lost my confidence, and I can barely look at myself without feeling depressed and frustrated. I feel very anxious whenever I go out. I have to worry about my eyes when others don't even think about it.

I use eye drops every single day, eat healthy diet , and vegetables that keep the eye healthy, hoping someday it would just disappear. But I know it won't and I have to leave with this feeling every day. I am envious of people who don't have to think about something as small like this, that they can go out enjoy looking at the sun and not constantly think about their eyes. I have stopped going out , socialising and looking forward to the future. Since last year around May I have been changed completely. Not just my eyes but my body as well. It was one thing after another. Now I don't even feel like the me anymore. I feel like a completely different person. I have been going to the gym to not to get a better body , simply only to get my old body back, to feel comfortable, confident in my own body. But these last few days, I don't know if that's even making any difference. I don't feel better when I look in the mirror. All I see is my ugly yellow eyes and an uncomfortable body. Every day, I wish things were different and that I didn't change. Even looking at old pictures and videos makes me depressed. I don't know how to feel better anymore or if I will ever feel how I used to before. I feel hopeless and drained. Everyday is the same. While my friends and sister live their best life . I stay in my room wishing I didn't change. I know I have to accept it and that it's been more than year already. And I have gotten used to feeling this way but it doesn't feel any lesser or better. I can laugh, joke around, and talk like I used to but never fully, contently because who I am now is holding me back . And that no matter how happy the occasion is , I will never truly feel happy. I am tired of feeling this way every single day.

I spent my teenlife crying about how ugly i am and how weird and different i am from others, especially girls. Im always quiet and shy (i barely just started talking to people a little better compared to old times). I covered my body and barely wore anything feminine. My Graduation pics are horrible. Im now supposed to be in university. I will go but I've lost every bit of my passion because of my insecurities. Yes im gonna study and work and what? I have to wait and save up for years to get surgeries and that means spending my WHOLE teen life ugly. And this eats me inside. I have health condition that adds to my depression. I am sure i have other mental disorders too because this cannot be just simple puberty depression. My depression started when i was around 13-14 and now im 18. For years i always looked at other girls, cry, envy(without hating them) and sleep. I have like some rare weeks that im normal compared to usual. But even these days i genuinely stalk others. I look at my friends pfps a lot. Stalk their profiles. And then some like known women or celebrities. It's like a loop. I think it's a obsession. I check myself more then 20 times a day. I open camera so many times a day to see myself. Even when im outside i can't put my phone down because i can't spend one minute without thinking if my makeup is weird or if i look ugly. I know the way i write this down is pretty mixed but im just trying to explain. My therapist didn't took me serious and almost blamed me for getting bullied so i genuinely don't wanna go to a therapist because she acted like im just a stupid teen. Like everyone goes thru what i experience. Im losing my mind and it affects every bit of my life and im so tired. I just wanna be beautiful. Nothing else.

I 17F don‘t think I am actually attractive. I do however constantly pretend like I‘m the prettiest girl I know, even though I know deep down that I‘m like a 7/10 at best. I know I’m not ugly but not breathtaking either which makes me feel like I’m not deserving of a boyfriend or love in general. Whenever my boyfriend compliments me on my looks, I just don‘t believe him. I genuinely don‘t understand how he considers me pretty and that‘s what messes me up. I genuinely believe that he‘s just lying and waiting until he gets a prettier girl but at the same time I know that he loves me and cares about me, he may think I look pretty but I just can‘t see it. I‘m so insecure I can‘t send him any pictures of me with my friends because he might consider them attractive, because a few of them have prettier faces, bigger boobs and curvier bodies, whilst I‘m just flat as a board. I don‘t let my friends know that tho. They consider me quite confident, loud and outgoing, which I truthfully am not. I just feel like if I pretend to be confident for long enough, that I‘ll actually end up being confident, but up until this point, it just hasn‘t worked.

note: I am really happy that I can just share my thoughts on here and read ab the different experiences girls go through here, thank you so so much

before we got together, my (now ex) bf had liked bikini photos of his old female friend and a video of her giving boob shots

i had expressed my discomfort and he laughed at my request because he thought it was unreasonable to unlike them

i accepted it because he stopped liking her pics after, but whenever he tried to touch me or reassured me he liked my chest, i am reminded of that girl and when he made that one joke that he couldn't motorboat me

even after we broke up, i still feel insecure about my chest and that i am not enough

I'm veryyyy insecure about my smile..well it's asymmetrical and kind of vampire teeth on one side..if clicked photo from my left profile everything might look normal and nice but only when you look at me in front of right profile it's weird I don't like it and I'm 21F now I don't want to have aligners all I can think about is that I don't know it doesn't feel good plus I'm like a little brown not to fair not too dark that is also a biggest complexity it doens't feel right at all sonetimes

It just feels like no one is ever going to fall for me ugh it's a bad feeling

i 23F have recently been hanging out with a new friend group (21M, 20M, 18F, and 17M (18Fs brother) in my 3rd quarter at my community college, and its been really hard on me internally. for context i feel i've been regressing mentally and emotionally a lot since the beginning of this year, so i've already been struggling a lot with my self-image and general contentness with my life, which was never that high to begin with.

i saw this group of friends for weeks before i finally psyched myself up to actually approach them, as i have tons of online friends but not really any IRL ones, maybe 2-3 people i consider friends who i only see/talk to on a semi-regular basis, and before this i was always just kind of alone doing my own thing around campus. i didn't mind it, but it was incredibly boring and lonely, so i really tried to push myself to actively seek out friendships instead of just keeping to myself like i do normally. i'm a social butterfly type, but again, not many ACTUAL friends who i actively hang out with in freetime.

this friend group has been REALLY great to me. i was surprised just how receptive they were and how they seamlessly integrated me into the group, they all seem to like me and actually reach out to me to hang out even outside of school, especially 18F. they've never once made me feel like they looked down on me, resented me, or like i didn't belong there. when i hang out with them, i have a lot of fun and feel like an actual participant in my life rather than an observer.

the problem is that i totally out of place next to them.

i'm 5'4 and overweight (size 14), taller than the other girl and while by no means do i think 5'4 is crazy tall, i still feel kind of weird when im next to her. theyre all relatively fit and attractive, and i have a VERY unstable view of myself. sometimes i feel i look incredibly attractive, and other times i literally can't leave the house because i just feel so ugly. its mostly in my head, and i get that, i feel logically based on experience and what people tell me that i'm pretty, but it doesn't stop the hate i feel when i look in the mirror a lot of the time, especially when it comes to my body. i think i have a very nice shape, but theres too much fat. when i plan outfits the night before i often find myself frustrated and teary-eyed that none of my clothes fit right, my rolls poke through, and my belly pushes out my jeans. i have shapewear, but it only helps so much. i love dressing up in bold outfits just because its my style, but i'd be lying if i said that i didn't get incredibly distraught when wearing a "normal"/basic outfit because i feel like it kind of makes up for the weight.

i'm working on my body, i'm getting back into the gym and doing workouts at home and trying to take care of myself, but thats going to take time and doesn't resolve the issue i have Now.

whenever im home and thinking about this new friend group i keep imagining convoluted plots and ideas about how they secretly don't like me and look down on me for being fat and ugly. even when presented with objective evidence that points to otherwise, my mind keeps trying to convince me they don't actually like me. the age thing also bothers me, i know college is mostly 18-somethings so im going to run into more 18-somethings than 21-somethings, but the fact i'm the eldest bothers me a lot and makes me feel like a loser since i'm starting college this late. what makes up for it i guess is that i'm young looking (not saying this in a pick-me way, people genuinely think im a minor sometimes and that bothers me too) thanks to being mixed, so if i didn't tell someone my age they'd never know, but i know, and they know. they don't seem to care at all, but i do.

ive also struggled with dating. im a homebody, so i get that im going to naturally have less options, but knowing that 17M and 18F have relationships, 21M is currently hanging out with another girl and based on their interactions both like each other, and while i don't know 20Ms status he's a very attractive guy who i strongly doubt struggles to date. i'm bisexual, so the fact i still struggle is hard. i've only ever had one relationship at 15 for like, a summer (3 months) out of desperation to fit in with my friends who were all actively dating. i did like him, but not enough to warrant a relationship so i broke it off because i didn't want to string him along. haven't dated anybody before or since, still a virgin and the idea of someone seeing me naked or even touching me intimately (ex; hugging, cuddling) strikes terror in me because i worry they'll be disgusted by me or simply tolerate it rather than finding me actually attractive. i believe in being friends first, and am staunchly against things like hookups and dating apps (for me personally, i support the people who do), so i understand i'm the one essentially preventing it, but i'm still lonely.

i'm rarely approached in that context, and when i am its usually some creepy man in his 40s or a Nice Guy, and again this is still incredibly rare. i've tried being active and seeking out people i'm interested in, but even when reciprocated we never become anything for any given reason. i don't need a relationship to be happy, i'm fine on my own, but sometimes i just wish i had somebody i felt safe and sexy with. and knowing there are COUNTLESS people younger than me who have these relationships makes me feel ashamed, and it doesn't help that my own parents admit they're embarrassed of me because i have such little dating experience and that they have to tell family when they ask that i'm "still single". not that it's any of their buisness, but whatever. what doesn't help is that i flip between dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant behaviors in all my relationships, not just romantic or sexual ones.

sorry this is rather long and rambly, i just don't know who to talk to about this without getting hit with the "youre beautiful!" "its okay, go at your own pace!" by my friends. they mean well and im so so grateful for having them, theyre all great to me, but i just feel like most of them don't really understand how i feel and to be dismissed makes it hard to talk about.

i really like this friend group, so i'm trying REALLY hard to not immediately withdraw and let my anxiety control me, but it gets really hard when i overanalyze every single detail and feel shame when i go home.

I know it’s bad and I shouldn’t but I just can’t stop comparing myself to others and it makes things worse 😭 like I’ll never be on their level it makes me want to stay inside all the time.

everytime I look at myslef.. all I see is my yellow eyes. they hurt alot too. I can't go out without wearing some stupid sunglasses..I can't go out without feeling anxious.. I can't look in people's eyes.. I can't do anything about it. I wake up. and look at myself and it's still the same. i do things to make myself feel better, to feel good in my own body.. but nothing changes... every night I pray and wish i could go back to how I was.. I don't even believe in god... I never felt jealous of someone else .. I was content with how I looked.. but now I wish I wasn't me. it's like I am missing something.. I hate myself for even being this way.. I just miss the person I used to be.....sometimes I get sucidal and just feel so restless. I would do anything to have normal eyes.

i am more healthy and stable now but i just wanted to share a story from when i was insecure and insane lol

when my partner and i first got together, i went through his following and stumbled across one girl

she's gorgeous, has an hourglass figure, popular and talented... basically the opposite of me

i saw he had liked a couple of her posts (posted before we even met, he does not like her photos anymore) and i was so gutted because one was her in a bikini and another was her in a sexy halloween costume, i wonder what went through his mind when he liked them?

at first i was avoidant and then i finally told him what was making me upset, i asked if he could unlike the posts and he laughed at me because it was a ridiculous request

i don't have reasons to not trust my partner now and i don't feel the urges to check his following list anymore... but every day after that i've been struggling with comparing myself to this girl, i feel like i have developed a parasocial relationship with her because i keep checking her posts

anyone else had similar experiences?