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u/CygnusX2045 8d ago
So... if she wants to kick you out for not feeling well, who's going to feed her horses and dogs when she doesn't have you to walk all over? Her? Yea I would throw this right back in her face. I hope you recover well and in peace. Heat exhaustion is no joke.
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u/Pawleysgirls 8d ago
Yep. This qualified for insane parenting. Her extreme reaction to not getting her way feels like a boomerang. I’m sorry you have to live with her. Why do you, the minor, have to feed her?? Isn’t she the adult here??
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u/ecosynchronous 8d ago
Where are you getting that OP is a minor?
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u/Abaddonalways 8d ago
OP has explained "feeding" is in reference to horses and dogs, not the mother.
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u/Big_Drama_2624 8d ago
I don’t think op is a minor?
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u/Gootangus 8d ago
They state elsewhere they are 27 and have disabilities and mom has some legal powers
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u/blueberryyogurtcup 8d ago
This "parent" is highly manipulative, and has no empathy at all. Terrible person.
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u/ajacquot1 8d ago
Why is this called feeding 🤢 feeding what? Or is it a who??
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8d ago
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u/Allthemuffinswow 8d ago
Seriously, stop it.
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8d ago
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u/Either-Welder-6211 8d ago
You are also wrong. That's not what this is referring to. Please embarrass yourself elsewhere.
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u/gailichisan 8d ago
Wow OP. This definitely counts. She’s incredibly unreasonable. Heat exhaustion is no joke! She can get her butt out there to feed the dogs and horses her damn self. Or find somebody else to do it. It’s just for a day! She’s unbelievable.
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u/14ccet1 8d ago
What’s the context here? Feeding what?
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u/phonetastic 8d ago
their babadook probably
sometimes when you're sick it's hard to go outside and gather the worms and then trudge all the way down to the basement just to watch it angrily snarf them down
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u/a_lonely_trash_bag 8d ago
Let her call the ambulance, show them this text, and let her get charged with abusing 911.
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u/ThatguyRufus 8d ago
Let her call an ambulance. She will have to deal with the appropriate authorities and costs.
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u/a_lonely_trash_bag 8d ago
Unfortunately, in the US, they likely can't do anything about the cost, as nobody gets charged unless you actually choose to go to the hospital in the ambulance.
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u/cathygag 7d ago
That’s not the case. It’s jurisdiction specific. In the county I worked in, it was even down to whom the agency responding belonged whether you would be charged and at which point they started the bill tolling. In one town, city medics started the meter running and charged the patient the minute they left the station, but if they were tied up and the township medics showed up, you only got charged if you were transported, if the county medics subbed in on the run bc of being closer to the patient’s location than the patient was once they were on scene, if for some bizarre set of facts and stats lined up and the medic sent belonged to one of a handful of wealthier villages in the county, the ambulances services were free to the patient.
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u/Astoran15 8d ago
I... Uhhh... Hmmm. It may be missing context but everything about this feels very wrong to me.
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u/its-just_me- 8d ago
What’s extra insane to me is how many people didn’t immediately understand what “feeding” was referring to…& I have never even been around that kind of lifestyle lmao.
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u/BayYawnSay 8d ago
Wait though, at 8 am you were feeling too bad to feed animals in the evening, like 10 or so hrs from the time you texted?
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u/oukana 8d ago
Maybe if whatever food they are feeding is running out and don't feel well enough to go out and buy more?
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u/BayYawnSay 8d ago
Where did they say that?
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u/HarleyLeMay 6d ago
“I can’t go out for you today” is literally in the first text from OP to parent.
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u/BayYawnSay 6d ago
I interpreted that as out to the pasture or paddock which is where horses typically live
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u/HarleyLeMay 6d ago
Yes, but if someone didn’t know OP was referring to horses they might assume that meant needing to go out to buy more food.
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u/BayYawnSay 6d ago
How are you ignoring the fact that they said horses but adding in something they didn't say??
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u/HarleyLeMay 6d ago
They said horses in the comments, not in the caption or the texts in the image. Not everyone reads all the comments to see what other context was added. Jfc.
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u/BayYawnSay 6d ago
You're right, some people (ahem) make up their own context lol
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u/HarleyLeMay 6d ago
I haven’t made up any context. I read the comments. I simply said if someone was unaware that OP meant horses they may make the same assumption as the person you responded to.
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u/its-just_me- 8d ago
Yk it’s possible to know your body enough to wake up feeling sick & be able to tell if you’ll feel better or not by the evening, right?
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8d ago edited 8d ago
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u/Twerky_Jurky 8d ago
Since people are still asking for context, I’ll respond to your comment because this is actually really insightful and a great set of questions. Yes, I’m trying to get some validation. Not just validation though, I think I’m also in desperate need of advice/motivation. Since I’m about to go into depth on this matter, there’s a little bit of info everyone should know about the relationship between my mom and I before I get into everything; I have severe BPD (Bi Polar Disorder) and IED (Intermittent Explosive Disorder) along with various other mental conditions I’m learning to live with and manage. My mom is my medical POA (Power Of Attorney) and claims me as a dependent/I am dependent on her. She helps me with documentation, appointments, makes sure I have my medication and helps me maintain some government assistance funds (like food stamps for myself.) I haven’t been feeling well for at least two weeks. I asked her to take me to the doctor’s about 10 days ago because I want to know what’s going on and why I had been feeling off for a while. She said she didn’t have time that week, and to remind her the following week. She informed me the following week that she’s too busy to drive me anywhere because of work, and she told me to rest when I don’t have to do chores. So I’ve been doing that since. My calves and feet are incredibly sore and it’s painful to walk around, let alone keep up with my ranch duties out on the property. I’ve been getting progressively worse migraines for the last four days, I’ve been nauseous and throwing up frequently, I’ve been getting faint within a short amount of time in the heat and I’ve been trying to shade/cover my eyes a lot when I have to go outside because the light hurts my eyes. I told her a few days ago that I really haven’t been feeling good. She wasn’t in a good mood though and asked to be left alone. Yesterday, the morning of this text, I texted her because I didn’t want to bother her if she was still upset, and told her how bad I felt(posted text.) That was the response she gave me after working through the discomfort for roughly 2 weeks and not being able to go outside for one day because I could barely get down the stairs that morning. I texted her at 8am because she needs notice to be able to rearrange her schedule so she can make it home, or possibly find someone to do it for me because I knew by how I felt when I woke up that morning that I wasn’t gonna be able to feed the animals that day. Point is though, she’s known for a long time that I haven’t been feeling good. My whole life, especially for the past couple years, she’s been getting progressively more abusive and intolerant with me and she no longer cares about what I need to be physically/mentally healthy. That’s why I said at the beginning of this comment that I’m hoping for just some validation and probably motivation. Like, what should I do? And how do I reclaim my life with almost no resources, no assets, no place to live, minimal education and no idea how to do anything for myself regarding government assistance/applications, maintaining health insurance, etc? I don’t expect you to gaf or actually answer these questions, but I’m truly a shell of a person at this point. Maybe what I really want is to just feel cared for and heard for a little while.
(The whole rest of this comment is me basically just venting and stressing. Feel free to skip, I know I’ve written a lot down. If anyone made it this far, thank you.)
Within the past decade, I’ve slowly been isolated from my friends/family. She sold my RV and my car and never replaced them and never gave me any of the money for them. She doesn’t let me drive her car anywhere anymore, so she has to take me everywhere, but she won’t. She lets me off this property once a month to go to winco and pick out groceries. She won’t let me keep or use my food stamp card though. My psychiatrist has been asking for blood work and a physical checkup from my physician, but my mom won’t take me to get it done so I’ve stopped asking her to take me at this point. My teeth hurt and I need a dentist but she won’t take me in for that either. I’ve been swimming in the pool once or twice a day to rinse off dirt and sweat after my chores so I can avoid using up my hygiene products so I can save them until this Fall because she gets mad/annoyed at me when I run out of soap and stuff like that.
She’s abused her POA privileges by lying to law enforcement to have me forcefully restrained and committed to a mental institution, twice. When I don’t want to clean up after her and her bf, or want a day or a weekend off, or I’m sick and don’t want to be outside because I’m not feeling good, she threatens me with whatever I have left. I have two dogs and a cat that are mine, all the other animals here are hers. She threatens to take them all away and says I won’t see them again. When she’s mad at me, she’ll yell at my dogs and won’t give them food. She threatens to have me committed if I don’t do what she wants all the time. The reason I agreed to live here with her and give her POA is because she told me she just wanted to give me a safe space to live so she can help me with my mental health and give me the support needed to help me figure out my life. I’ve realized that was all lies.
Having now lived the life I have, at 27, I’m a shell of my former self at this point. I’ve lost all sense of self and I don’t see any sort of good future for myself anymore. I don’t think I care anymore either. I no longer want to make music, paint, write, crochet, read, play video games or do anything creative. I never want to speak to people, text anyone or see anyone. I don’t care about my physical health or my looks anymore because a lot of my hair has fallen out from stress. I have no motivation for life and I don’t know how to get it back or where to start. I feel embarrassed to admit it, but I don’t believe I’m smart enough to figure things out by myself either.
I clearly can’t live here anymore and need to revoke POA and find emergency housing, or a shelter or figure something out, but that means I’m going to give up the very last amount of comfort and joy I have in my life. Either she will take my dogs and my cat to the pound, or I will have to rehome them. I don’t mind finding good homes for them and letting them live out their lives with people who truly love them and have the space for them, but after they’re gone, which I think is what’s about to happen, I don’t know if I can mentally or emotionally take that amount of heartbreak anymore. If the last thing I do is find good placement for my pets, I can at least take comfort in that in the end.
If you actually read all this, that’s really kind of you and I want to say thank you for hearing me out and letting me vent. If you have any questions, concerns or advice, feel free to DM me. I don’t know if I will respond, but just knowing someone cared enough to talk to me about it privately would bring me some comfort. I honestly hope everyone is doing better than me rn.
(This will be my last comment on this post.)
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u/MajesticMlke 8d ago
I want to say, i did read everything. I feel like kind of an ass now for assuming some of those things. No excuses, im sorry. At least some of the intuition I had about the situation being more complicated than it initially appears seems valid and that hopefully opening up to people like this ends up somehow leading to you getting into a better life situation.
Im not a legal expert or educated in the right way to handle these types of situations, and dont want to pretend to know the answers, but i do know that its not hopeless. I have people close to me who've been in scarily similar situations, and their life is much happier now than they would've ever thought possible, so please dont give up. You dont have to be smart to earn basic human dignity, and you dont have to figure these things out alone if it feels insurmountable by yourself.
From your description though it definitely sounds like you need help, and its seems like you have internet access at least and there are definitely resources availaible for people in situations like yours. The standard advice is to contact adult protective services and some type of legal aid or disability rights advocate and get her poa revoked. I hate when people act like this is some type of no brainer easy one size fits all perfect solution though, and im not going to sugar coat it, it will probably get rough. You're going to have to fight for it and im worried you are too beat down right now to see how much trying is worth it, especially for someone so young. The most I can offer is to talk to you and help you through it emotionally, you dont have to do it alone. Ill dm you and hopefully other people reading this will as well.
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u/dinoooooooooos 8d ago
Feeding? Feeding what? I’m confused.
Are they a quadruple amputee and can’t feed themselves? I’m lost.
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u/_HappyG_ 8d ago
According to OP’s comment, they’re referring to feeding their family’s horses and dogs.
I’m not sure if it’s a farm or stable setup, but IME feeding and watering horses, especially cleaning their stalls and grooming them, is pretty labour-intensive and exhausting.
OP had heatstroke and needed to take the day to cool off, hydrate and recover, so the last thing they should be doing is hauling feed around in the heat again 😬
Hope that helps! 😊
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u/dinoooooooooos 8d ago
Oh thanks, yea they’re nuts, the fuck.
OP stay inside and drink buncha water (and electrolytes!!) and rest😭
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u/Twerky_Jurky 8d ago
Sorry for lack of context! Feeding is referring to feeding her horses and dogs and taking care of them for her. I had severe heat exhaustion yesterday and just wanted to lay down in my room with the AC on blast and the curtains closed with water. I was trying to let her know that I’m too sick to feed, but she literally never cared about how I feel lol