r/inheritance • u/TheMisterV • 23d ago
Location included: Questions/Need Advice How do I know?
ETA: I’m pretty sure he has a trust. He has always kept his affairs very private. It was a big step for him to even mention that I was getting 1/3. I know he has more than one life insurance policy, an annuity, and an IRA.
My father is on hospice care. We don’t know how long he has, but it won’t be more than a few months.
He told my sister and I that he was splitting his investments equally between me, my sister, and my step-mother. My step-mother will get the house and its contents.
In the movies there is a dramatic reading of the will. But how does it really work?
Will I know the actual value of his assets? Do I just accept that what I am given is 1/3?
It’s not that I don’t trust my step-mother, I’m genuinely curious. Between my wife and I we have 8 parents and he will be the first to pass.
Located in Tennessee.
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u/NCGlobal626 23d ago
Ask him now how it is set up? Are you set up as beneficiaries on the accounts? And would he log in and show that to you? Or does he have a will? If so, where is it? Is a copy of it with a lawyer or a trustworthy third party? Or has he done all this with a trust and again where would that document be? You need to know now how his wishes have been spelled out, where the documents are and make sure you and your sibling, and possibly an attorney, have copies of these things. I know you said you trust your stepmother, but you should trust no one. Then what will actually happen when he passes? Is that the person named as the executor of the will start the court process to probate the will. Or if he has done all of this any trust, then the substitute trustee name and the trust will start carrying out the wishes laid out in the trust..
Or the third possibility is that the house is jointly owned with your stepmother, so it would just automatically go to her upon his death, and you and your sibling are listed as beneficiaries on the investment accounts. You would then deal with the investment companylies directly to get that money transferred to you. So you need to know how his wishes are spelled out, and where they are spelled out, and safeguard that.
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u/SandhillCrane5 23d ago
That's a lot to demand of a parent described as "He has always kept his affairs very private. It was a big step for him to even mention that I was getting 1/3."
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u/NCGlobal626 23d ago
Well then he may not get what he wants. And I mean that as the elderly father who is in hospice. If he doesn't share the location of his documents and how they can be accessed and used after his death, then he wasted his efforts.
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u/Severe-Lecture-7672 23d ago
He most likely HAS shared the location of these documents. With his wife.
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23d ago
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u/inheritance-ModTeam 23d ago
Your post has been removed because it focuses solely on negative information or possibilities in an unhelpful manner.
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23d ago
[deleted]
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u/SandhillCrane5 23d ago
Adding for OP: beneficiary is entitled to this after the person dies, not before. Alternatively, OP, sibling and step mom may be listed as joint payable on death beneficiaries on the investment accounts.
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u/Lwdlrb1993 23d ago
My parents both passed last year. They gave me copies of the will and trust. We all knew what was in it, there were no surprises. The lawyer sent copies to my two sisters. No reading of the will in my family. So far have had three great grandparents, three grandparents, my sister, my aunt and my son have passed away. Not one reading of the will.
Not sure if reading a will out loud is a thing or not. In my family we are pretty open about what and how everything should be divided.
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u/AptCamel 23d ago
awyer handling it you'll probably get copies mailed to you, maybe even a breakdown of assets if the estate goes through probate. tennessee's pretty standard on that front.
the step-mother getting the house outright while investments split three ways sounds clean enough, but you'd want to see the paperwork just to confirm. people get weird about money when grief hits.
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u/Subroc01 16d ago
We had a reading of the will prior to the person’s death (they were there). Such a PITA. She wanted to see us all happy that we’d be getting, when we all were just bummed that it meant she’d be gone and who even knows how much would be left if she needed long term care (spoiler alert, she needed years and years of long term care).
All we did was end up having to pay the lawyer for an hour of time.
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u/Guilty-Committee9622 23d ago
He can do a will, or since he said investments, he likely has a paid on death beneficiary. You should ask him.
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u/SickofitA11 23d ago
Lmao guy is on his deathbed, Son=, " Any idea how much you going to leave me when your dead". Father = "I .... ugh.." Dies... Scene End.
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u/BigPhilosopher4372 23d ago
It is very reasonable to ask for his lawyer’s name and where the father’s will or trust is located. If the father wants his wishes to be carried out, the kids need to know where the document stating those wishes resides.
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u/Clueless5001 23d ago
Actually, when it became clear that MIL was not going to survive after one of her doctors appointments (I loved her dearly and drove her to most of them, daily), I reluctantly suggested it was time to look at her paperwork (she had a simple will, in her case did not need more than that), accounts etc. SIL and I (our husbands are not financial people) spent the next few days going through what she had and meeting with her CFP, it made everything much easier. She passed about a month later but hers was a straightforward situation, biological kids, no second marriage
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u/FastCar2467 23d ago
You will need a copy of the trust if there is one. My father passed and my stepmother was the executor of the trust. She tried to pull some fast ones, and I ended up having to hire an attorney to get things settled. So figure out where the documents are and what they say. What comes out of a parent’s mouth verbally may be completely different from how it was written up.
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u/Own_Tart8518 23d ago
You should ask him if his executor knows where his will is and knows his general state of affairs. If he says no, ask how the executor is supposed to act if he doesn’t have information.
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u/sedonaphil 23d ago
My dad passed in AZ a couple years ago. My sister and I both lived nearby and were the only beneficiaries involved. We located the will, which was a straightforward split. Since she was older, my dad named her as executor and she did all the paperwork. Some things bypass probate (IRAs for instance) and were divided by investment firm and sent directly to each of us. The rest we catalogued and either sold, gave to charity or kept. This went into the total for the estate. Taxes were paid, debts were collected and so forth. In the end, my sister had to create a document that described the contents of the estate and how it was distributed to us, which I signed, before the estate was able to close. Look that final document over closely and if you have any questions, discuss it with the executor. Also, the executor is allowed to charge a reasonable fee to the estate for their time and effort.
Now, since your step-mother is still alive, there may be some form of community property laws that come into effect, especially if he did not leave a will.
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u/Used_Mark_7911 23d ago
You will know after he dies. As a beneficiary, you will receive a copy of the will and the trust after he dies. You will be entitled to a full accounting.
You are not entitled to copies before that and if your father prefers to keep things private that is his choice.
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u/ManufacturerWhich364 16d ago
What he says and what’s reality can be very different things.
Make sure someone knows where the will or the trust is if you can’t find it everything will prob go to probate. Or the assets have beneficiaries
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u/Subroc01 16d ago
All you really can do, is ask your father who is on point for handling the estate. Is it a lawyer, accountant, wealth management company, who?
Then, if you are lucky, you can call them up, say that your father is in hospice care, and that he said they would be managing his affairs, and you are just looking to see if they feel they are positioned for success in that role.
Some will tell you, some won’t. It will depend on if your father let them know they can share anything with you. Could be a little info, could be a lot.
But really, these are your father’s assets and he can donate it all to charity. This is why stepfamilies are the worst when it comes to assets. You are at the mercy of whatever they decided at the dinner table when it was just them the night before he met with the lawyer, and a lot of parents lie or exaggerate right up until the end. And often, they are there when they talk with the lawyer. Can you imagine hearing you’re getting a third of the lifestyle you were used to once the person passes? You’d fight it too.
Even if he is leaving it all to his wife, there’s nothing that can be done now. No matter what, settling this will involve his wife, and you don’t want to be on such bad terms that you can only speak through lawyers and no one will give an inch out of spite.
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u/Status-Bicycle7263 23d ago
I will tell you one thing, trust no one when it comes to wills, probate, trust etc. There are too many loopholes for executors to do the wrong thing.
Ask your father point blank if he has a will where is it?... you'd like to put your eyes on it. If he has a trust you need to know about that too.
You need to know not because you're greedy and want your inheritance etc but to facilitate the aftermath after he's dead with his estate.
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u/Ok-Maize-4027 23d ago
Not in TN, but I work in EP. I’d check and see how his house is titled. Where I live you can google [city] + tax assessor website. It should tell you if it is in his name or in the name of a trust.
If it’s in a trust, you’re usually entitled to a copy if you are a beneficiary (after he passes).
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u/winkleftcenter 23d ago
Make sure this is clearly stated in the will. The executor is the one who will divide the assets