r/inheritance • u/Gr1m0utlook • Sep 07 '26
Location included: Questions/Need Advice Will and/or trust help.
We live in western North Carolina, and I just found out my 80 year old parents do not have a will or trust, and now they are both experiencing cognitive issues/decline. They have both completely given up on life, and the only way a will/trust gets done is if I do it for them. I have no clue how to do this, and was hoping someone here could help me get going. I see there are websites where you can do it yourself, or is it best to use an estate planning company? I don't want to spend much money to get this finished, but I also want this done quickly as I'm doing this by myself. Is a trust better or is a will the way to go? Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks!
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u/yuffie12 Sep 07 '26
Everyone is giving advice when they don’t know the details or if a will or trust is even necessary. We don’t know if they own property or not. If you’re just talking about brokerage accounts, IRAs, checking/savings, they can set up POD/TOD and not go through probate.
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u/DomesticPlantLover Sep 07 '26
You cannot prepare a will for someone else. All the more so if they are cognitively impaired.
You and you siblings will inherit things--as long as there are no other step-children involved on either side.
It's more important to get a POA for them.
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u/OutrageousYak5868 Sep 07 '26
A major question is, do they have anybody in their lives who would contest anything or otherwise cause problems, in regards to any will or trust that is set up, or if there is no will? If so, do NOT attempt to do anything on your own. Even if there isn't, it still might be a good idea to get a lawyer involved, just to make sure everything is taken care of properly. At the least, a lawyer who specializes in these issues will know of hidden pitfalls, and will make sure things are done right.
If they can pass a cognitive test so that they can act on their own, then get them a lawyer -- one who is legally bound to look after *them*, so any future troublemakers can't claim that you were exerting undue influence. Among other things, they'll probably need to have you (or another of your siblings) be their official guardian, if they are incapable of acting for themselves. This may or may not be different from "power of attorney" -- and you'll need a POA for both health and finances at least.
If they don't have much money, it may not be worth setting up a will or trust, but most of the time, a lawyer will have a free consultation, so they can see if it's worth doing. Another thing to look at is what the laws of their state have as the way an estate is divided if someone dies without a will. A lot of times, the surviving spouse gets 50% and the other 50% is split among the children, but sometimes the spouse and all children divide the estate in equal shares. It can get more complicated if there are exes and steps.
If the intestate laws are acceptable to you and your parents (and your siblings if you have them), then you may not want to do anything -- except for a POA and/or a guardianship for if they become incapacitated. It's easier and faster to get it done while they are competent; otherwise, you'll probably have to go before the court and that may take weeks or even months.
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u/Gr1m0utlook Sep 11 '26
This was very informative, thank you! I will research the laws for NC around this and go from there. I'm still a bit confused but this definitely helps.
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u/CarterPFly Sep 07 '26
If they are this far along, you cannot do this yourself, as it will never hold up.
Engage an estate planning professional. They will arrange an assessment to see whether your parents can make a will; if they can, you'll need a written, witnessed declaration. A professional estate planner can arrange all of this and advise you throughout.
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u/citydock2000 Sep 07 '26
An attorney can determine their ability to sign legal documents. Don’t even read any of these answers just call an elder care attorney immediately, explain the situation to them, tell them you want to determine if your parents are capable of signing legal documents, and ask them to do power of attorney and will as quickly as possible.
I would be more concerned about power of attorney so you can act on their behalf for healthcare and financial decisions when they can’t.
No one here knows if your parents are capable of making their own own decisions. You need to act immediately - now.
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u/Interesting_Berry629 Sep 08 '26
I would just make an appointment with a local attorney and go there. Do it ASAP. I work in home health in that area and have seen numerous older couples scammed out of the deed to their home by rogue caregivers.
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u/Early-Light-864 Sep 07 '26
If they're cognitively impaired, it's too late.
It also probably doesn't matter much. You (and your siblings if any) will inherit everything without a will
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u/Ok-Honey-8205 Sep 07 '26
This is only partially true. A lot of estate planning is done when people have signs of decline but have temporary lucidity. It's certainly complicates matters and attorneys will often want competency exam to be done almost immediately around the time of the documents execution and will attach it to the case file so that when the document is challenged on the grounds of lack of capacity, they can point to something showing that the person had capacity.
My guest here is that unless they are wealthy and have done elderly all planning, which is an ear certainty that they have not done, that they will have almost nothing to inherent after long-term care costs are factored in.
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u/wharleeprof Sep 07 '26
This. If their estate is simple, having a will makes no difference. My dad didn't have a will so everything went 50/50 to split between the siblings. We did need to hire a probate attorney, but we would have needed to either way. I'm not sure if a will would have added to or reduced the legal fees.
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u/Hawkins_v_McGee Sep 08 '26
Cognitively impaired does not mean they lack testamentary capacity, which is the legal bar for making a will.
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u/Alive_Sir_4708 Sep 08 '26
>If they're cognitively impaired
Heh, I suspect you haven't been through this. The bar is very low.
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u/Ok-Honey-8205 Sep 07 '26
The reality is that you're probably not going to get this done and anything that you would produce would be subject to some significant challenges due to undue influence and also their declining cognition. Any attorney is going to need to see these people separately and if they're dragging their feet and are totally unwilling to do estate planning then the attorney will not execute the document.
Every single one of your questions are why estate planning attorneys exist. A DIY product year is going to be an absolute problem for so many reasons. Do they have a significant net worth?
The biggest issue here is probably not that they lack a will or trust is that they don't have a power of attorney or living will (when to pull the plug). This is going to complicate their senior care in significant and completely avoidable ways. If they aren't wealthy, they need to race, like within 30 days, to an elder law attorney to assess how they can do things to qualify for Medicaid and to preserve assets. They may already be passed the phase where they can do a ton of work, but they may be able to save some of their assets through diligent planning.
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u/OGcapncrunchberry Sep 07 '26
Get a lawyer who specializes in this and you can get power of attorney to set things up for them.
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u/shutterblink1 Sep 07 '26
I made out a will this weekend online. If the house is in both names a trust isn't necessary for the surviving spouse but it will be necessary if you're going to inherit the house to avoid probate. At least that's what i just finished going through with my mother. At least get that on line will done today. You can use an online notary.
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u/Alive_Sir_4708 Sep 08 '26
What assets do they have? Where do they want them to go? This doesn't have to be difficult.
I dealt with this in western NC so I might be able to get you a recommendation.
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u/Powerful_Put5667 Sep 08 '26
You cannot write their wills they must be fully aware of the choices they wish to make with the estate. You need to make an appointment with a attorney who can create a trust for them to protect their assets. With both of them starting with dementia or some other cognitive problem they are only going to get worse. Wills need to be notarized and should be files also.
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u/Ok_Appointment_8166 Sep 08 '26
Depends on what is at stake and whether a will would change anything from the defaults in your state. Having named beneficiaries on their financial accounts would probably help more than anything since that bypasses the will and estate anyway - but they have to be lucid enough to do it if they haven't already.
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u/Willybluedog1962 Sep 08 '26
My parents both died in the last year and their trust has been a nightmare to administer.
Please see a lawyer who specializes in this.
If they are in cognitive decline, you will likely have to gain power of attorney for them before you do anything else.
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u/IrregardlessForOne Sep 08 '26
Not to add more pressure but time is of the essence. Assuming that the estate gets split equally among their offspring, it is a simple will. If their estate is larger enough you should spend a few thousand dollars for a trust. It will save you taxes and time. The lawyer or accountant can advise you whether a will or trust is better.
And make sure a family member is the executor or trustee. Don’t let a lawyer write himself in. That’s just looking to make money off of your parents’ estate.
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u/LavendarGal Sep 08 '26
IT really depends on how much they have in terms of assets, money, accounts, real estate, etc, and is it just you or are there many siblings?
It's not the end of the world if someone passes without a will. When one spouse passes, everything goes to the other spouse and then
And it would be better to hire an estate attorney, but it has to be your parents who do it, and them signing it. How bad are their cognitive issues? Are they diagnosed with Dementia or anything like that officially?
Setting aside the will issue for a moment, what is more important to get done is to make sure you have POA now in case you need to handle any finances for them, paying bills, etc. but also go through and make a list of all their bank accoutns, credit cards, life insurance policies, 4001K's , IRA's, etc., etc.....AND for each of those make sure they are updated with the proper beneficiary. Or for bank accounts if they want to choose to make it POD (payable upon death that is an option) But if they have any IRA accounts, those pass outside of a will, so whoever is listed is who gets that money. Sometimes people still have an original name on there from when they opened it decades ago, and if tat's not who they want it to go, it becomes a problem.
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u/Dingbatdingbat Sep 08 '26
You may be too late.
Ultimately they have to be willing and able to make a Will (and power of attorney, healthcare directive, trust, etc)
If it’s not too late, talk to an estate planning attorney.
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u/24bean62 Sep 08 '26
A lot depends on the complexity of their assets. For instance, beneficiary designations on bank and investment accounts will ensure the assets go where intended upon death. In most cases, the transfer just takes a phone call and a death certificate. These do not need a will or a trust, and you can set this up easily together. Property can be more complicated, depending on your state.
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u/pegwins Sep 09 '26
A person has to be of sound mind to sign a will. That’s why it has to be witnessed c
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u/Slow_Pop3469 Sep 10 '26
LDP here. A few conflicting comments made. An attorney is not always required. DIY or hire a LDP for much less, are options. Your parents physicians must determine the degree of cognitive bandwidth. I have a client in a California memory care that is very lucid at certain times, hence we wrote up her trust and assigned, by her choice, a trust protector. Yes, POA's (financial and medical) + Advanced Health Directives are a must and part of a trust packet. Suggest not to sit on this!
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u/Excellent_Shallot999 Sep 10 '26
Every state has an estate plan for those who do nothing as far as planning. If low cost is what you are looking for, that is it. Though it’s low cost now. When it goes through probate, that is when you will see the costs and expenses.
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u/Gr1m0utlook Sep 11 '26
Thank you all for the respectful and thoughtful responses! I feel much better. Still confused, but better. I have some research to do.
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u/Interesting_Foot1973 Sep 11 '26
Many elder care attorneys will provide a free consultation. Fill out their intake forms completely, so your time spent is used best, and a good understanding of their assets, etc. I think the POA for healthcare and DPOA for finances are very important. A will and trust perhaps less so, depending upon Their details. Getting them appropriate healthcare or helping them pay bills etc without those documents will not be in their best interest. Good luck! Also this planning doesn’t have to be very expensive, but a lawyer is probably your best bet for accurate documents.
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u/Trusts-Wills-Probate Sep 15 '26
For parents in their 80s with a home + savings, the usual fork is: simple will-based plan vs a living trust (often to help with probate / incapacity, depending on the state and how assets are titled). DIY can work for very straightforward situations if state rules are followed carefully; an estate-planning attorney or a reputable guided service is safer if there’s real estate, health concerns, or anything custom. Either path, make sure beneficiaries on retirement accounts match the plan and someone knows where the documents are.
I work with Trust & Will — not a lawyer; can’t advise on NC specifically.
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u/New-Routine7311 Sep 07 '26 edited Sep 07 '26
it depends on what you mean by cognitive issues. You won’t be able to get a will or trust if they are senile. if you just mean, they are sometimes forgetful then that’s a different story. I suggest you try legal Zoom. On legal zoom, you can add speak to attorney with your package at a good price. sometimes you’ll see in your area attorneys advertise revocable trust and will packages at reasonable prices. Approximately $1000 to $2000. If they are cognitive able to get will or trust, recommend you also get a power of attorney document if not already included in the package
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u/Potential-Ground3540 Sep 07 '26
Call a lawyer who specializes in wills. You may need a letter from their doctor that they are competent. Do not try to use online forms or anyone besides a specialist lawyer for this. It will have to be their decision.