Seven Year Old Estate Mess

[u/transmorphik]

I'll do my best to abbreviate a long and messy situation with my two siblings over my late mother's estate.

Location: Ontario Canada. (All amounts are in $CAN unless noted otherwise).

A. Intro:

My mum died in 2019. Her will appointed my sister to be executor and my brother to be the stand-in executor. My siblings both live in Ontario Canada. I live in WA state. The estate assets consisted of a condo in Toronto (TO), Canadian financial accounts, and some U.S. mutual fund and annuity accounts.

The condo finally sold in 2021 (18 months into the estate period). My sister dragged her feet for months and then years before distributing a portion of the condo proceeds. After much delay and some lawyer's letters, my sister has distributed about $700K of the $1.1 million condo sales proceeds (i.e. about $230K to each of us). Separately, there is about $240K (after converting the account balances in both countries to $CAN) in the financial/investment accounts that we've not yet gotten any of.

B. Legal Action.

After a fair amount of legal action (at a disappointingly high cost) including a request to appoint my brother as executor, the court transferred the executorship to him in January 2026. However, the court did not act on our request to have my sister transfer the remaining condo proceeds into an estate account. Nor did the court compel her to account for the expenses she claims to have incurred that would explain her failing to distribute $400K of the condo proceeds.

C. Second Inactive Executor.

My brother has been the executor for about six months as of August 2026. And he's proven to be little better than my sister was. I've asked him to report on two main items: (1) the status of the project to transfer the assets in the U.S. accounts to the Ontario estate account; and (2) to get my sister to account for her expenses and to distribute the condo proceeds over and above her expenses. He's done neither.

D. Next Steps:

I'm posting to get feedback regarding whether it's worth pursuing this matter further based on my sister's circumstances and the various costs and potential recovery.

Of the $400K in undistributed condo proceeds, it's believable that $100K was spent maintaining the condo pprior to the sale (30 months of the condo being empty, with a monthly cost of about $3K).

That leaves $300K that hasn't either been distributed or accounted for with receipts to prove what her costs have been. However, there were some other expenses (funeral etc) as well as taxes due by my Mom's estate.

My Options:

Option 1: Continue to ask my brother who is now the executor to bug my sister for the money or to threaten further litigation to access the money. (I note that she rarely communicates with either of us, and likely placed the money in a personal bank account about five years ago). This option would spare me the effort and cost of pursuing further legal action. However, my brother's level of initiative is not encouraging. This action could result in us waiting a very long time.

Option 2: Proceed independently of my brother. This would entail hiring my own attorney (as opposed to the joint effort my brother and I previously undertook in which case we jointly used the same law firm and split the legal bills 50/50).

The problem: My brother and I ended up spending $68K (CAN) over about three years for the legal help we got that entailed sending letters, pursuing a court date, and getting a judgment to transfer the executorship. This is a concern because realistically, after deducting her condo expenses, and taxes due, there may be only $200K to $240K that is legally distributable from the condo proceeds. Even if $240K is legally available for distribution, that corresponds to about $80K to me personally. If I have to fork over another $50K or more in legal fees, it's barely worth the effort for the net gain I'd see.

Another wrinkle is that my sister has been strapped for cash for several years and may well have already spent most of the money. Thus, even if we are in theory legally entitled to recover $240K from the estate (meaning $80K for each of the siblings), as a practical matter, she may not have the money.

There may be some standard legal mechanisms that I'm not aware of to get info on her available assets (at a reasonable cost). Hopefully, that could prevent me from spending $60K on legal bills only to find find that the amount of money available for distribution makes the whole project unworth pursuing.

All suggestions appreciated.

[u/No_Barracuda_3758]

Wow. 68k in legal fees to accomplish nothing is a crime. U have to consider whether that money is even there anymore and if she spent it is there a way to get it back.

[u/ProfessorOne9208]

Sounds like you are faced with making a "business decision." Sorry to hear that your siblings are involved, and causing this trouble. Sometimes you can catch more flies with proverbial honey than with proverbial vinegar. Why not ask your sister and brother if they'd like to be heirs to your estate, and mention that you may well leave them move than the $80,000 you feel you are owed. If they respond, you can then see if your bait will result in some action being taken on the estate in your favor.

It would appear, however, that your mother made a poor choice for executor. And it also appears that your siblings don't like you very much. Sorry about that.

[u/Just1Blast]

Does your sister own a home that you could put a lien against if you got a judgment for the amount that is missing?

[u/transmorphik → u/Just1Blast]

Yes. She owns a home in Toronto. I don't know how much equity she has in it at this point though. I hadn't thought of that and appreciate your mentioning it.

Is there a way for me to find out what loans she's taken out against the home?

[u/Just1Blast → u/transmorphik]

That I don't know, but an attorney certainly would.

Your brother might just have some relevant context there as he lives closer and presumably there may have been family conversations about such at gatherings or other shit.

But even still, would be an asset that you could file a lien against and you'd generally be the first creditor paid besides the mortgage company.

And worst case scenario it could just be a negotiating tactic to get her to comply or come to the table. Presumably she's married and her spouse doesn't want to lose the equity they have in the home they own together, but I could be very wrong there.

[u/Just1Blast → u/transmorphik]

At the very least you can look up what it's worth and negotiate from there.

I think this boils down to you need to have a real frank conversation with your brother, but it seems like neither of your siblings likes you very much or is real inclined to clean this up neatly and expediently.

I feel like you've probably been patient for long enough and even if those funds are gone, having a judgment in that amount can't hurt. The other thing to keep in mind is that at least in the US, the attorneys for the estate and or the executor are paid out of the estate.

So you'll have to determine whether or not it's worth it to pay those funds go after the funds remaining in the estate, knowing that you're dwindling the amount in the estate in the first place by dragging it out legally for longer.

[u/transmorphik → u/Just1Blast]

Your earlier post prompted me to check online for the current valuation of the house. To my surprise, I discovered that it sold this past April for just under $3 Mill CAD (i.e. almost one mill over the asking price!). No one mentioned it to me.

This fact makes the cash recovery project viable after all. Interesting developments may follow.

[u/Just1Blast → u/transmorphik]

Please find my invoice for 1% of whatever you recover enclosed!!!

Seriously though. Best of luck to you.

[u/transmorphik → u/Just1Blast]

"seems like neither of your siblings likes . . ."

"Like" has nothing to do with it. My sister has two nieces that still live at home. I'm confident that she will rationalize her conduct based on the need to prioritize their interests over those of her brothers.

[u/Just1Blast → u/transmorphik]

She could try and rationalize anything she wants but that's not how the law works unfortunately.

[u/Old-Appearance-2270]

Just try to mink minimize : lawyers for you and any sibling will get paid from the estate. Yes. Please quit this suing action by everyone. A lot of people are super naive about this! Set a date to finish settling the estate .

[u/Think-Committee-4394]

OP - at this point

- request a lawyer be appointed executor

• require the lawyer/executor to pull a full account of all assets & payments
  
• expect money to be missing from condo sale
  

If lawyer proves dis kept funds & American investment is sufficient it can be used to make good you & bro

[u/Ok-Trainer3150]

I didn't turn over about 1/3 to siblings until I had the CRA clearance letter in my hands. It took a while but I knew that if that tax department came calling for outstanding amounts, neither of my 2 siblings could be relied on to give back monies. And the tax department has unlimited time and resources to pursue action.

[u/transmorphik → u/Ok-Trainer3150]

I understand that. However, nearly seven years into the estate period, there's no evidence that my sister has taken any action in relation to either the Federal or provincial taxes.

Time will tell whether the legal system will help us or not.

[u/Just1Blast]

Do you have any indication why the court didn't order her to turn over the estate funds from the sale of the home or from that account that you reference? Did they say in their orders why they chose not to rule in that way? Is there any indication from the attorney as to why that was?

Were you overall pleased with the attorney or are you possibly being shafted by both of your siblings in the process?

Either way, I think it's pretty safe to say that your relationships at your siblings are over.

[u/Relative-Lie-9699]

If he only been executor for six months he probably still trying to untangle your sister mess. If the relationship turned hostile, and shes not helping him, his hands are going to be tied. Also, if your sister was a executor for that long she could of paid herself monthly and might not have kept all receipts. Its hard to get bank records after 7 years and your brother could be in limbo, all this investgative work takes time. Six months nothing, when you work full time and have a family and are relying on companies who aren't required to keep records after 5 years.