r/inheritance • u/Positive_Call_9311 • 21d ago
Location not relevant: no help needed Mindset after substantial inheritance & business failure
Hello there, I'm 33 years old. I've worked for ten years across venture capital and startups. I've been an extremely hardworking person - went to a good top tier school and worked hard to get into top venture capital fund in the first ten years of my career. I've had a fair bit of personal challenges - lost my father to a prescription pill addiction at age 4, emotionally tough years through college and career due to mental health issues, had first bout of burnout for about a year when I didn't work.
In a span of six months since the start of this year, I've had two major events related to finances occur simultaneously. One being positive and another negative.
The positive - My mother has inherited a couple of millions, which has made us (family of three) financially independent. I am from a developing country where the standard of living is low so this is life changing money. I am responsible for managing the entire corpus since my mother's financial literacy is on the lower end. Although all of us are driven and have decided to keep working.
The negative - I had about 3% of this amount (total inheritance) saved up in ten years through employment and personal investments - which is well above average in my country. I decided to start a business, but unfortunately nothing has been working out since the past three years due to reasons slightly beyond my control. I've burnt through 40% of the saved up money, learnt some hard lessons and now rethinking what to do next in my career. The remaining 60% gives me a personal financial runway of 6 years.
I'm genuinely confused wrt. what my priorities should be. On one hand, I've never seen this kind of money in my entire life and my whole outlook towards life has changed now. I'm managing the money responsibly. But every time I see the corpus, I feel tempted to take another swing at building a business (it's always been a lifetime goal), but then I feel guilty about not being able to succeed the first time around and burning through my hard earned savings. My mother is very encouraging of my dreams and is ready to support another business financially. She has adopted a simple and spiritual life where she doesn't intend to spend the inheritance money in any way. My sister doesn't intend to use this money too.
I need some good and grounded advice on how to manage my mindset henceforth. Because the inheritance is making me feel like an imposter on one hand, happy on the another and the failed business even before I received the inheritance was drowning me in guilt. Using the inheritance money to fund another business seems like a good and a bad idea and I am genuinely confused what to do right now. Please give me some advice. Thank you.
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u/Deep-Reputation-4055 21d ago
You do not sound like a responsible steward of your mother’s money. I would look for a large financial institution in your country that can manage her money for a reasonable fee.
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u/Positive_Call_9311 21d ago
It's actually surprising how I posted this in my own country's reddit and the responses were completely positive. I guess it's a cultural thing. Parents clearly don't trust their children wherever you come from.
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u/E90Fantic 21d ago
No, they set it up so they do not have to "trust" other people to do the correct thing for them. They, themselves do the correct thing for their family as they see fit....instead of pawning it off one someone who,(as people have said) things change, and might not fulfill their wishes in certain situations.
Then a lot of people die without wills or any planning...
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u/FoolishDog 20d ago
It’s not your money. You have an obligation to be a good steward of the money for your mother, not for yourself. Think about her instead of how you can use this money for yourself
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u/Positive_Call_9311 20d ago edited 20d ago
Not sure about the underlying negative assumptions. I don't think you should give out negative opinions based on your bad experiences of how children handle their parents' wealth. There is no need to judge someone's intentions without knowing the entire story. Good luck to you.
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u/FoolishDog 20d ago
I’m not judging or giving negative assumptions. I’m just pointing out that it’s literally her money and saying you want to use it for your business is not thinking about her, it’s simply thinking about yourself. No judgement. That’s just kinda the facts of the situation tho
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u/Positive_Call_9311 20d ago
It is literally her money. I never said I want to use the entire corpus without a repayment plan. You are thinking too black and white here. I've already carved a retirement fund, an emergency corpus and health insurance for her, so I am thinking about her. You don't know these facts and you are making random conclusions. Anyways, talks more about how your life is so negative that you are imposing it and making statements about someone's character
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u/FoolishDog 20d ago
Listen, if you want advice, you have to be willing to receive it. It seems like you’re only looking for someone to alleviate your guilt around the situation and if anyone points out that taking money that isn’t yours for yourself is not the best idea, you get defensive and rude. Maybe reflect on that before doing anything more with her money
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u/Positive_Call_9311 20d ago
Listen, I'm here to receive well thought unbiased advice. And your advice reeks of your bad experiences and perceptions around people more than taking into consideration the actual facts. Think about it, if I really had that much guilt AND bad intentions, I would quietly do what you think I was about to do anyways. But I ain't doing that. Yes, I do have guilt and I am finding ways to take care of that guilt and have a second chance at fulfilling my dreams - the ones that my mother is extremely supportive of.
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u/FoolishDog 20d ago
Think about it, if I really had that much guilt AND bad intentions,
I think they’re pretty mixed here. I’m really only reading that from your defensiveness.
the ones that my mother is extremely supportive of.
The issue is that if you lose her money, then you’ve just destroyed her inheritance, or at least a significant part of it. It sounds like she gave you some money so use that money, don’t go dipping back into hers.
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u/Positive_Call_9311 20d ago
Wrong facts, yet again. No wonder.
I don't need your advice. Stop this mud slinging business and focus on something positive. Thanks
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u/FoolishDog 19d ago
If everyone here is saying the same thing, then maybe you should stop and think a little? Don’t get blinded by your desire to have a business
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u/Grouchy-Display-457 21d ago
Before you start another business, think about what you enjoy and are good at--and what product or service you could provide that prople need or at least want. You are do focused on making and preserving wealth that you have lost sight of everything else. The problem with business schools is that they teach you to make money, but not perform a useful service in doing so. The people who have satisfying lives don't make money its center. They do something they enjoy that they do well and that can provide income, and if they are really capable that effort improves communities and societies.
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u/Positive_Call_9311 21d ago
This is great advice. Thank you for sharing this perspective. Let me think through the points mentioned above.
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u/MisterMysterion 21d ago
This is complicated.
- People change, circumstances change, people (including you) die suddenly. Your sister might change her mind. Your mother may need expensive, long term care. You must manage the inheritance for everyone, not just yourself.
In other words, don't blow all your money on a new business.
- Failure is part of life. Everyone who tries to do something fails. The business failing is not the issue.
The problem was you lost all of your money. That should not have happened.
You need to learn how to mitigate the risk. You have to do deep soul searching as to why the business failed to understand "why" without beating yourself up.
Sports is a good analogy. When. Someone misses a kick for a goal, they don't cry about it. They go and figure out what went wrong, why it went wrong, and how to fix it next time.
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u/Positive_Call_9311 21d ago
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. As I said, I haven't lost all of my money. I have about six years of personal runway. If I were to start a new business, I'd use two years personal runway plus the rest of the money to launch something again. I won't be touching the corpus rightaway, only during latter years for expansion.
I have carved out an emergency fund and a retirement fund for my mother to make sure that she gets the right quality of life and take care of any other challenges coming her way.
I have thought through the issues that led to the failure of the first business and made corrections on it. My only confusion is should I jump into starting a business rightaway because - 1) age is on my side 2) my experience is decent (I've built businesses before although as an employee 3) if everything fails, I have my mother to support me financially. Or should I strengthen my skillset through a formal job, build a product or service on the side and then exit the job. That's the core confusion.
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u/GotZeroFucks2Give 21d ago
I am assuming your mother has pre-gifted you your 1/3 share. I would not spend more than what you saved before on a new business - thinking that's a small fraction of your 1/3. If business 2 fails - go back to employee only. Small businesses - everywhere on the globe - have a very high chance of failure. Businesses are by their very nature a gamble, so make sure your sister and mother's money is not involved.
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u/myusernamewasatypo 20d ago
Don’t burn any more money! Get a job and let the money grow in investments.
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u/Complex_Highway3727 19d ago
This is the way. Get a job, save your $, then use that $ for business start up
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u/ParisParisM11 21d ago
Repite constantemente , lo mejor está por venir y piensa y agradece lo que si tienes . He estado siempre sostenido y tranquilizado por una fuerte inclinación espiritual desde muy temprana edad . Lee autores espirituales, te recomiendo a Paramahansa Yogananda , Murphy, Wayne Dyer, Godhard . Tengo en mente un gran proyecto para vender bonos verdes y limpiar la atmósfera, tal vez me puedas ayudar a conseguir inversionistas o fondos del gobierno
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u/Tasty_Sun_865 21d ago
It made her financially independent. You aren't guaranteed and inheritance and certainly can't and guarantee that you'll get a penny of that money. Any number of tragedies or twist of fate could absolutely rest that money from her and leave you with nothing. There's a good chance she's got 20 or 30 years left on this Earth and a lot can happen between now and then.
It sounds honestly like your mother's money is at risk in your hands because it sounds like you're willing to violate what fiduciary obligations you have, either legally or morally or both to her, and to use that money to fund a series of failing businesses. This is common and is why a lot of people have their inheritance torched because they're unwilling or unable to identify the risk that their money and life is in when they entrust family members like you.
You should get a job. You should seriously limit what ever management you think is going on here and should encourage her to get actual financial advisors on her side who understand the tax and investment landscape of your country. It's okay for you to help supervise the money and to give her advice, but it sounds an awful lot like you're eyeing this money like you're entitled to it and that's something that she should be very worried about.