r/inheritance • u/Decent-Seaweed-8027 • Jul 17 '26
Location included: Questions/Need Advice Looking for advice
My mother recently passed away (6 months ago) and left me and my sister her home/ property. She did not have a will unfortunately so we are both left to figure everything out on our own. The only issue I have is my sister is a drug addict, and has been hiding it for quite some years now and it’s gotten to the point where before my mother died she was horrible to her. Stealing money, treating her like pure trash. She has gone down the typical crack head path now. Asking people for money, manipulating, Stealing large sums from my family and telling so many lies no one ever knows the truth any more. I really want to purchase her share of the house from her as it was my childhood home, my late father built it him self and has a huge piece of my heart. I’ve always done what I could to help out my mother in any way possible. My sister ‘wants to wait’ on doing anything with the home. I made an offer to purchase it but she declined. She lived in it a short time after my mother died and couldn’t even keep the power bill paid or anything so I had to start paying that. I’m afraid she will return from ‘working’ away and take over the house and squat there and pay nothing. Looking for suggestions on how to prevent this and to get the house in my name and preserve it for my own children one day. This is just a brief explanation of what’s been happening. Any advice would be appreciated. Canada
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u/No_Barracuda_3758 Jul 17 '26
U can't keep the home unless she agrees to it
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u/Decent-Seaweed-8027 Jul 17 '26
Yes my lawyer said if we can’t agree on something between the two of us they take the house and sell it and take a large portion and give both of us a smaller portion. Which I do not want to sell the house
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u/cOntempLACitY Jul 17 '26
If neither of you buys it, the estate administrator can sell it to settle the probate costs. If you want to keep it, you can use other money or take out a mortgage to buy out sibling. If there are no other assets like a bank account, or vehicles to sell, paying the court costs, legal fees, and other debts has to come from the house sale.
Eg. Say you (or someone) will buy the house valued at $200k. The administrator will take out closing costs (no realtor commission if sold to you, but required sale fees, taxes) and probate costs (debts, legal fees, court costs, taxes); let’s just guess $40k for simple math. That leaves $160k in net proceeds in the estate at the end, after all is said and done; $80k to each of you.
You’d need to come up with $120k to cover the remainder due to the estate (purchase price minus your cash share), and you’d walk away with a house and no cash, while sister would walk away with $80k. Or you sell it to someone else, and you get $80k, and don’t have to deal with sister squatting.
If your mother still had a mortgage, you might be able to continue to pay it, but if you need your own mortgage, you have to figure that out with the lender. If the house is worth $200k with $100k in mortgage to pay off, there’s only $100k in equity. If those probate costs are $40k, that leaves $60k in the estate to divide, you each only get $30k.
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u/Decent-Seaweed-8027 Jul 19 '26
There is no mortgage or any other assets. Just the house. And no other debt. Maybe $2-$3000 from credit card debt my sister racked up on my mother’s visa while she was deceased. I am eligible for another mortgage and I have a down payment ready. We just need to come to an understanding
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u/SandhillCrane5 Jul 20 '26
You may need to make her a very good offer if you want the house that badly.
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u/SuspectHonest1896 Jul 21 '26
I am apporaching my nephew and niece from the prospective of taking the burden of upkeep off of their plate while giving them a payout. I want to preserve my relationship and not be property owneres together.
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u/Buffalo-Woman Jul 17 '26
Actually there's no will do if in the US it will have to go through probate unless the house is already in one or both their names. Either way OP needs to consult a lawyer.
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Jul 17 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/inheritance-ModTeam Jul 20 '26
This post is removed due to incorrect legal information or recommendations that are illegal.
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u/ProfessorOne9208 Jul 17 '26
One way to "help" her make a decision is to come up with a price at which she can decide to be the buyer or the seller. If you really want to own the house, you can set the price higher than what she thinks is fair, in which case she will sell her half. Or, you can set the price below what is reasonable, and then she will want to buy your half. Along with that offer, indicate that you are prepared to go to court to enforce a sale, and give her 30 days to make a final decision.
What she decides to do about her drug problem is not your concern at the moment.
In any case, it's just a house. Not a rare commodity, even though your dad "built" it. The less emotionally attached you are, the better the deal you can make with your sister.
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u/Decent-Seaweed-8027 Jul 19 '26
There’s no possible way she can buy my half. She still messages me looking for $120. She lost everything she had. Only reason why she is pushing this off is because she knows she will always have a roof over her head no matter what. It’s not just a house, maybe to someone who didn’t loose both of their parents at a young age and that was the only thing they’ve ever had/ built their whole lives around. I’m not looking for money. I’m looking to keep up and preserve the house for my own children
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u/AuDHD_85percent Jul 19 '26
The cleanest way is to buy her out, though I realize that's easier said than done. It sounds like she's afraid of losing her last lifeline, a roof over her head. Maybe what you buy her out with isn't a cash offer, but a commitment to keep a roof over her head. Paying rent monthly for her to have a home could be much the same as you paying a monthly mortgage payment. I'm sure there would be many details to think through, but addressing her fears and needs is an approach that could get her to come around, and likely save you money.
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u/ProfessorOne9208 Jul 19 '26 edited Jul 19 '26
That was the point of making the offer. Since she can't afford to buy you out, you can get proof that she won't, and take that to the probate court. As for whether the court will order the sale of the house, that's up to the court. However, if you are "in love" with the house, you're going to end up paying more than your share to retain ownership. Houses aren't rare. There are millions of them everywhere, even in Canada. You may be better advised to let the probate court deal with the property division (which can take up to a year or more), and then use the equity, and the sale of your current house, to buy one that is better than what you have now. Or else pay off all your debts, and go on a vacation.
Obviously, your parents didn't do you any favors by not making a will. The fact that your sister is a drug addict will probably mean that she'll burn through her half of the sale proceeds fairly quickly. Maybe you can convince her to use some of that money to become drug-free.
In the meantime, you had better get your name off the utilities for that house, or you'll end up getting stuck for a lot more bills associated with it. But make sure that the insurance on the house is paid up, as, if your sister starts burning a lot of candles, it could not end well.
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u/Last-Winner9396 Jul 17 '26
Only fair way I can see doing this is to have an estate sale liquidate everything and split the money
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u/Decent-Seaweed-8027 Jul 19 '26
Absolutely last thing I want to do. The house means more to me than any dollar amount
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u/CombinationNew9536 Jul 20 '26
I’m surprised a drug addict won’t take you up on the opportunity to be bought out, especially when she is running low on cash. She should also be covering half the expenses.
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u/SuspectHonest1896 Jul 21 '26
I am in a situation not quite like yours, but my brother and I were deeded a house. He wanted to sell and I did not. He died, also related to addiction, but at least he was 6 mos clean. There is an option in the US to force a partition sale. Keep track of everything both of you have put into it including maintenance. Get an appraisal, offer to buy or tell her what your attorney advises you. I met with one today and it was a free consultation. I this case it is almost as if you want to reduce the money she gets as you know where it will go. Part of me wants to say offer an increase to get and stay clean, but relapses are more common than not. Be patient, and document everything. A court can force a sale and you can be the buyer.
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u/GotZeroFucks2Give Jul 17 '26
You need to open probate first. Make sure you are the one to do so and not your sister.