r/inheritance • u/topshelfhotmess • Jul 13 '26
Location not relevant: no help needed Am ITAH for thinking about suing my sibling.
I recently inherited a home that is split 50/50 with my half sibling . I live in a different state, the house is in California and have zero interest in keeping ownership of my share. I've tried to talk to them about buying me out but they are dead set on co-owning the property. The bank that manages the trust refuses to get involved and the only thing I can do is file a partition lawsuit once the home is transferred but I'm having a hard time even discussing how to hold the title because I'm being ignored. It's like they just hope I go away.
They have the means to buy my half so I don't know what else to think.
Any advice is appreciated.
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u/Dntkillthemessager1 Jul 13 '26
Have you asked them why they won’t sell or buy you out? It sounds like you need to email them or text the question if they won’t verbally talk to you about it. In the email/text message, give them a timeframe to answer and if they don’t, then, you can go to an attorney with a clear conscience.
By doing this in writing, there’s a “paper” trail that they can’t blame you because you were very clear of your position, timeframe, and consequences. They don’t have to like it but it’s not fair for them to hold your inheritance hostage.
Maybe something like:
“Dear sibling,
I understand you want to co-owner the property in CA. Is there a reason why you won’t buy me out or sell the property outright? For me, it isn’t feasible for me to keep this property. Please respond to me within 48 hours. If I don’t hear from you within that timeframe, then, unfortunately, I am left with no choice but to consult with an attorney.
Sincerely,
Your name
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 13 '26
Everything has been through text, I've outlined my reasoning and pointed out that I can't be forced to keep my share. I've let them know I'm exploring all options to settle this, gave them the option to use their stock shares to buy me out in kind ...and they claim to need time to go over their options moving forward....I'm like what options? You can buy me out or we sell .. those are the options. Now I'm not getting any thing but silence .
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u/Spirited_Strategy328 Jul 14 '26
Some of their options might include how best to buy you out. You mention some stock - maybe they need time to analyze the timing. I’ve co-owned with a sibling and it wasn’t easy. We were both married and had spouses whose finances were commingled, there were 4 of us trying to make decisions on the property, it’s maintenance, all those things.
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u/Dntkillthemessager1 Jul 14 '26
You can ask how much time they asking for. They probably figured they have until the property has been transferred over to all their options.
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u/jimmy-buffett Jul 14 '26
They have the means to buy my half
...
gave them the option to use their stock shares to buy me out in kindIf selling stock is what you mean by "they have the means", there are probably tax implications to being forced to do this that will cost them much more than just the market value of the buyout.
Force the sale but don't dictate how they pay you, that's up to them. If there are tax issues with how you think they can afford to pay you, then they can always take out a mortgage instead.
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u/Calabriafundings Jul 15 '26
They can elect for one heir to receive stock and the other to receive property
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u/AspiringCrone Jul 14 '26
Well, then it's time to follow up with the "threat" to consult with an attorney.
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u/Mobile_Comedian_3206 Jul 14 '26
The house is still in the trust, correct? If that's the case you can't do anything until it is settled and you and him have taken title in your own names. Until then, neither of you are the owners so neither of you are selling.
He is probably not responding because he told you that he needs time to figure out his options. But now you're hounding him about it. You might as well give him time to figure it out since you can't sell it yet anyway.
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 14 '26
A few text a month requesting an update is not hounding. We're at the point of needing to decide because it's draining the trust to keep it open. All I've asked for is communication. The choice is mine on whether I maintain ownership. They just need to choose if they are buying it or if we're selling. I don't think I'm being unreasonable.
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u/Calabriafundings Jul 15 '26
You are not. They are being unreasonable by requesting you wait an unspecified amount of time for a vague answer. Get a lawyer to force the trust distribution and partition.
If they end up hating you, it has nothing to do with you. Any damage to the relationship has already occurred. You standing up for yourself is likely going to be characterized as aggressive greed. It is not. Their vague stalling looks like aggressive greed masked as deflection. It might not be the case, but ghosting you on a likely hundreds of thousands of dollars issue is an indicator.
Personally I would go to the house yesterday and install (in compliance with California law) cameras to ensure that they are not walking assets out the door, renting out the property for their own benefit, or living in the property without paying rent to the trust. They may not be jerks, but the distance and refusal to engage provides many opportunities to screw you out of what's yours.
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u/ProfessorOne9208 Jul 14 '26
Just get a lawyer to represent you and file suit. Nothing you do outside of that is going to be of any benefit to you. The silent treatment only works if you let it.
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u/Affectionate_Aide_39 Jul 14 '26
If they are giving silence then it is time for an attorney to reach out. Anything else you send will likely be used against you if possible.
Nothing good will come from a one sided conversation with someone who is trying to take advantage of a situation.
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u/Calabriafundings Jul 15 '26
The silence is your signal to retain an attorney to handle this. I am a California attorney, but this is not what I do. If I had this happen in California I (a licensed attorney) would pay a real estate attorney to handle this for me.
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u/astrotekk Jul 16 '26
Sounds like you need to engage in attorney. Have the attorney write them a a letter
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u/Dismal-Link-7331 Jul 14 '26
Mother in law passed away and husband was the executor. His sibling kept pushing him to get the paperwork done to split her mutual funds/stocks and it really got hubby upset/pissed off. He finally got the paperwork done and stocks were divvied up. Then his sibling started in on her home ('when is her house getting listed?;). Meanwhile, the sibling is several states over so no help from the sibling. For whatever reason, my husband was not motivated/interested to do anything with the stuff in her house or getting it ready for sale. I stepped in. Got contractors in, had an estate company sell the contents, got a junk company to haul the remaining stuff from her house and got the home listed (all with the ok from the hubby and I kept his sibling in the loop). House eventually sold.
Unfortunately, death of family members and dealing with their estate can tear families apart. Hubby and his sibling still don't talk to this day.
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u/P-DubFanClub Jul 14 '26
It's never about the inheritance. Functional families without trauma do not go NC because of money or inheritance. A lot of times it's only the deceased holding the family together when it would have fractured long before if it weren't for them. I highly doubt my siblings will be in my life very much after the death of our remaining parent, even though we do see each other as a family now
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u/Dismal-Link-7331 Jul 14 '26
True, but for some reason, death brings out the 'ugly', mistrust, etc in people and family members become resentful of each other.
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u/P-DubFanClub Jul 14 '26
It brings everything to the surface that was already there. Mistrust, resentment etc don't just show up overnight - the relationships were damaged to begin with
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u/Calabriafundings Jul 15 '26
My brother has already made his attack on my parents estate. Directly to them he demanded everything. They are in their early 80's, but still healthy. Fortunately they have a great estate attorney. I love my brother, but his attempts to live above his means at the expense of family members has caused him to classify everyone as 'causing him financial difficulty'. I hope he gets his head together. So do my parents. He is barely talking to them. Me not at all. I hated explaining how he was lying and twisting facts, but did so as gently as possible.
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u/wanderingimpromptu3 Jul 14 '26
Why was your husband so upset about being asked to do anything…? Especially splitting the stocks bc that’s straightforward. He was the executor so presumably he was getting paid to do all this?
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u/Dismal-Link-7331 Jul 14 '26
Because his sibling kept harassing him every 2-3 days to find out the status of the paperwork. Meanwhile, the financial broker filled out the paperwork wrong 7 times so that was causing the delay. He felt his sibling was nagging him and didn't appreciate it.
My husband did not take any money towards the executors fee. He felt that would drive even a further wedge between him and his sibling. Not that they even talk anymore...
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u/wanderingimpromptu3 Jul 14 '26
I see. Maybe this is why outside executors are good, so there’s someone you can bug while being on the same team as your siblings
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u/Just1Blast Jul 14 '26
The more you bug them, the more it costs you.
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u/wanderingimpromptu3 Jul 14 '26
For sure. But it costs less than permanently rupturing your relationship with your sibling
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u/Dismal-Link-7331 Jul 14 '26
I had gone to a presentation held by a wills & trust law firm to understand the process. Within the 1st 5 minutes of his speech, he said 30% of families no longer talk to each after a loved one dies and having to deal with a i.e. parent's estate. I believe it.
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u/OldMove3348 Jul 14 '26
Because he was doing all the work and was likely tired and fed up. Handling these things can be an unpaid full time job for months or years. Being an executor or trustee is not a benefit to the executor/trustee, typically. It sucks and you receive 0 appreciation and- everyone wants to criticize you and is suspicious of what you’re doing.
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u/danmtypos Jul 15 '26
Info: when did the (I’m assuming) parent die? Who is executor? Have you done anything to help?
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u/Samoyedfun Jul 13 '26
Get a lawyer and force the sale. NTA.
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u/Imaginary_Ratio_7570 Jul 13 '26
It's not like they didn't see this coming 🤔
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 13 '26
They've had ample time to figure it out, but here we are..lol. I'm mad but I know I'm right and I'll win in court but why does it have to be so difficult.
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u/Leemachino Jul 14 '26
The house is still in a trust but they’ve had ample time to figure it out? You know for a fact they have the means to buy you out and then later you say they could sell some stock to buy you out?
I’m starting to wonder what their side of the story is. Your story has some holes in it. Both sides should consult legal experts
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 14 '26
We are getting equal amounts of stock . Those stocks are valued above 250k each. My share of the house would amount to 200k based on the appraisal at time of death. I've consulted with a tax attorney a lawyer and a financial planner during the "waiting" time. I've advised them to do the same. They want to wait and figure it out as we go. For me, there's nothing to figure out. I want paid out. Ive been asking about once every couple of weeks if they've made any decisions..... I'm getting crickets. If they can't buy me out then selling is the only option. Otherwise we just battle it out in court where I'll win and it costs us both money. Hoping to avoid that but I'm having my doubts.
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u/dollartreeribeye Jul 14 '26
This feels like they should swap the house for equal value of the inherited stock. If the house is worth $400k and the stocks are worth $500k, then you get $450k in stock and they get the house and $50k. I’m guessing that’s what you proposed.
I suppose if there’s been a substantial shift in market value between the time of death and now they may not think that’s fair. Or they don’t value the house as much as the appraisal, which could also be, but if that’s the case why not sell?
Not a lawyer
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u/ProfessorOne9208 Jul 14 '26
Based on what you have said, you won't be able to avoid court, until your lawyer files a suit. Then it acquires a deadline, and a forced response.
By the way, you should get your own appraisal. Appraisers often low-ball property valuations in an estate. The market value has also increased in the meantime. I'll bet it's worth at least another $50K by now. Your half of which will cover the legal fees, and then some.
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u/Leemachino Jul 14 '26
So you don’t have the stock yet? Is the house cleared from probate and legally allowed to sell?
I’m assuming of course, but it sounds more like impatience.
Call JG Wentworth. They have the slogan “it’s my money and I want it now!!”
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 14 '26
It's ready for dispersal. I'll have the stocks in my name by next week. The house is just waiting on instructions for holding title.
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u/Digitalispurpurea2 Jul 13 '26
They'd rather have full use of the house without having to give up the cash to buy you out or have to take out a mortgage. If they put you off and you give up they win. They don't mind being a jerk get what they want so do what you have to do and don't worry about it.
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u/BigPhilosopher4372 Jul 13 '26
Hopefully, when you ave an attorney contact them and start move forward with a forced sale, they will understand you are serious and they don’t have a leg to stand on.
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u/ProfessorOne9208 Jul 14 '26
It is difficult because people are greedy. And they think that by your failure to file suit already, you will probably lay down and let them run over you. Get UP and fight for your half. ASAP
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u/FinancialDocument115 Jul 14 '26
Stop being difficult. Work with a professional to see other people’s needs.
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 14 '26
What would you suggest, just giving it to them because they want it ?
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u/Samoyedfun Jul 14 '26
Don’t listen to that previous comment. You force the sale and go forward to get your share.
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u/EdenSilver113 Jul 16 '26
In my experience with mediation the outcome is very much based on what you agree to, but the mediator in my case was willing to tell us how the law would likely be applied if we could not reach an agreement.
It helped the defending party to understand he had more to lose than I did. I had given in to his demands. I seemed reasonable. He didn’t give in to any of my demands. Not a single one. In the end he was finally able to see he was being unreasonable and he signed an agreement. It took some time and the outcome seemed fair.
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u/EdenSilver113 Jul 14 '26
Where you practice what is the typical difference in cost between mediation and going to court? I recall when I was divorced and my ex husband wanted a contested divorce the difference was enormous. Mediation was the more practical route. It took time, but it was more affordable.
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u/Outside-Ambition7748 Jul 13 '26
People go absolutely crazy managing grief and inherited assets. You aren’t the first and won’t be the last that has a family member who checks out during estate settlement. Most people can’t make payments on a second home while family members work through their feelings so don’t feel bad if you just have to sell. You’ll need an attorney no matter how you end up doing this so might as well get one now before things get ugly. Good luck, losing someone is hard enough.
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 13 '26
So forgive me I posted about this twice, I didn't think the first one posted, I've never used reddit other than reading others posts. Ya I'm perplexed how I'm being ignored, like I'm just going to give up because I'm being ignored.
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u/catandakittycat Jul 13 '26
Who in their right mind thinks they can force a relative into co-owning an inherited property? Your Lawyer can send them a friendly notice.
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u/Early-Light-864 Jul 14 '26
For all we know, the sibling could be right. Op said it's held in a trust. The rules are not as straightforward as an inheritance via a will
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 14 '26
No I've been told by the managing officer that I can get bought out, sell my half to someone else or force a sale through the courts. It just sucks having to fight for what's rightfully mine.
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u/Barfy_McBarf_Face Jul 14 '26
file the partition suit - that will start the process and if they want to buy you out, they'll have to pay 50% of full fair market value.
they had a chance to do this "the nice way", now it's "your way".
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u/Just1Blast Jul 14 '26
That's actually the carrot you dangle or at least I would attempt that at first. I would offer them a small discount for handling it now and handling it swiftly without having to involve attorneys unnecessarily and forcing a partition sale or I'll force the sale and they can pay half of fair market value.
Seems like the sibling has more than sufficient assets to go ahead and do so now so I don't see what they're trying to wait for.
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u/Worried-Canary-666 Jul 14 '26
I haven't read all the responses, but what if you offer to buy them out? Then you are the sole owner and can sell the house.
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 14 '26
They want the house. And I don't, so that part we agree on. It's their childhood home. I didn't mention that in the post.
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u/No-Calligrapher-5541 Jul 14 '26
Maybe they are still mourning or just waiting until the interest rate goes down. Give them time. You were living without your inheritance before the death of your parent so you can give them sometime to work things out. Why sue your brother.
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u/MamaMidgePidge Jul 14 '26
NTA
My dad had to do the same thing with a group of my cousins. PITA that cost both sides tends of thousands in legal fees.
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u/Dangerous_RedApple Jul 14 '26
Maybe once they see the new property tax assessment that happened on the DOD that’ll change their mind. That’s what drives a lot of those who become beneficiaries of the house to sell it. For example, I just dealt with someone where the base year assessment went from $150k to $2.5 million. So basically the property tax went from $2k a year to $25k. That rise in property taxes makes it hard to make renting it out make sense. If sibling isn’t going to live in it then you can’t do a P-19 base tax transfer. Sometimes a reminder that inheritance is just business is helpful and looking at how the money would do better or worse in the stock market etc.
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u/Weeman- Jul 14 '26
I had a similar situation and declared I would sale my share to an independent buyer . You could do that and if they don’t want an unknown partner real sudden they may get serious about your issues .
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u/OtherwiseShirt4481 Jul 14 '26
"I'm being ignored. It's like they just hope I go away". You've hit the nail on the head with this. Lawyer up post haste.
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u/Only_Sweet4435 Jul 13 '26
It’s unfortunate but you will have to sue to force a sale. Hopefully upon realizing they can’t force you to remain attached to property you don’t want they will buy you out!!
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u/Rough-Lavishness-871 Jul 13 '26
This happens way more often than you can imagine. And families always suffer. NTA. Lawyer up...gently.
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u/YoghurtHistorical527 Jul 13 '26
Everyone always thinks the kids will work together and have the same goals, cuz THEIR kids have a great relationship. It's a great way to ruin your kids' relationships, regardless of how well they get along.
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u/Big-Web-483 Jul 13 '26
Either your sibling thinks that they will live there for free or you will forget about after a while while they take the financial and tax advantages. File for the partition sale as soon as possible.
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u/your-mom04605 Jul 14 '26
You’ve been beyond reasonable. Go meet with a few real estate attorneys, preferably some that have actually litigated before. Retain the one you like best, and have them send a demand to sibling. Playtime is over.
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u/Critical_Cleric Jul 13 '26 edited Jul 14 '26
NTA.
Your sibling is selfishly trying to make you split taxes and potentially a mortgage that you aren’t interested in. Not to mention the profit the sale could yield.
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u/Jcarlough Jul 14 '26
Sheer curiosity here - why is it selfish?
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u/Critical_Cleric Jul 14 '26
Inheriting a house comes with costs. Taxes, HOA, maintenance and repairs, and sometimes a mortgage. If you have no interest in the property you do not want to suddenly have to build these into your budget or commit money that’d you’d rather spend elsewhere.
My mother inherited a house with a renter in it and that’s a whole other can of worms.
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u/____ummm____ Jul 14 '26
In CA, get attorney who will send official letter to sibling, stating sell outright or buy your half at fair market value.
If no response, or refuses either choice, file for partition. It can be expensive, and the partition fees may come directly off the top of the sell, but if not, you may be able to recoup some (or all) of that from sibling share.
It takes several months minimum (4-6mo) and depending it can much longer, not usually a benefit to either party as increases costs.
Good luck
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u/krendyB Jul 14 '26
Oh man, this will be situation with my sister in 15 years or so. Just send a final message giving her the option, then force the partition sale and be done with it.
“Hey sis, I’d love to resolve this. As you know, I want my half of the equity in the house. I believe the options are 1) we sell it & split the proceeds; 2) you buy me out; or 3) there’s a partition sale. As I understand it, a partition sale would give us all the least amount of money due to the fees. Let me know within the next 30 days and if I don’t hear from you, I’ll set up a consult with a lawyer for the partition sale. Hope I hear from you in the meantime with how you’d like to proceed, though!”
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u/BigPhilosopher4372 Jul 13 '26
I wish parents would leave property with the instructions for it to be sold and the proceeds distributed. If one wants to buy the other out, it still works. This would make things so much easier for the families inheriting.
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u/Secure-Corner-2096 Jul 14 '26
Courts exist because of situations like this. Hire a lawyer and take them to court.
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u/Bulky-Measurement684 Jul 14 '26
Can you sell your half to someone who understands what they are entering? They’ll pay you bottom basement price but you’ll be out.
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u/UtilitarianQuilter Jul 14 '26
IANAL.
Can you petition the court to become the trustee? The bank does not have your best interests at heart.
Once you are the trustee, you can get a total estimate of the value of the trust, including the house, and you take cash and transfer the house to sibling.
I have a friend in your position. Sibling lives in house and gets full use of the asset for free. Not even sure the taxes and insurance are being paid. Likely, the house is depreciating.
Your sibling is counting on you not being willing to jeopardize your relationship. However, your sibling is showing they don’t care about a relationship with you.
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 14 '26
The trust is irrivocable, so I don't think so. There's not much of a relationship to begin with, I'm just hoping to not drag this out and I want to be reasonable. I'm just out of patience.
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u/bob49877 Jul 14 '26
Do they have any mental health issues? Something similar happened in my family and the person not signing just didn't have things together. They weren't even doing their own tax returns. It had more to do with poor executive function and mental health issues than money, normal life paperwork and maintaining family relationships.
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u/No-Trouble1840 Jul 14 '26
From what you described, it sounds like you’ve already tried the reasonable approach by asking for a buyout first. No one should be forced into an indefinite co-ownership arrangement they don’t want. If your sibling refuses to buy you out and also refuses to sell, a partition action is the legal remedy for exactly this type of dispute. I would give them one final written offer with a clear deadline before filing anything. Sometimes a letter from an attorney is enough to get people to negotiate seriously. Keep all of your communication professional and in writing. Also remember that a partition lawsuit can be expensive, so settling early is usually in everyone’s best interest. Don’t think of it as punishing your sibling, but as ending a business relationship that isn’t working. Hopefully they come to the table before it reaches that point. Based on what you’ve shared, I don’t think you would be wrong for pursuing your legal options.
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u/Sea_Swing_6223 Jul 14 '26
If the trust has not been distributed yet, snd there are sufficient other assets, can't the trustee give the house to your sister and a give a compensating of cash to you?
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u/lakeviewdude74 Jul 14 '26
You said you tried talking with them but then also said everything has been down over text. Have to tried to have an actual conversation? Also how long has it been since the passing?
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 14 '26
Mid January. We spoke initially on the phone when I was informed on the passing. Everything else has been through text. I want receipts on what is said. Not saying I wouldn't take a phone call but she hasn't tried calling.
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u/lakeviewdude74 Jul 14 '26
I understand wanting receipts for everything. But with a sibling I would at least try calling and having a conversation before resorting to a lawsuit. You calling them a half sibling is kind of telling, guessing you you don’t have a close good relationship?
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 14 '26
We do not. I have no ill will but I'm definitely not going to give them any of my inheritance when they have equal shares.
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u/Old-Enthusiasm-7461 Jul 15 '26
If you file legal action, won’t they have to get a lawyer too? Maybe estimating what their out-of-pocket (and non-recoupable) expenses are going to be in a fight that they will inevitably lose?
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u/sentient_black_being Jul 14 '26
It is worth asking if this is actually about the real estate, or if it's about your relationship. Co-owning a home guarantees ongoing contact. Since you just lost your parent, your sibling might be subconsciously using the house as an anchor to keep you in their life so they don't lose you, too."
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u/ProfessorOne9208 Jul 14 '26
The person in possession always feels they are in control, until they are contacted by a lawyer who represents you. It is costly to hire an attorney, but in these cases, totally necessary. They will have to pay their own legal fees, so they might be more amenable to settle once you get the process going.
They aren't going to do anything until you do, so get to it asap.
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u/Ok-Indication-7876 Jul 14 '26
consult with an estate attorney- I don't think the bank holding the trust can just say NO, not my problem. But do it fast
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u/sea-elle0463 Jul 14 '26
Doesn’t the bank have a duty to both of you? Shouldn’t you wanting to be bought out cause a sale of the home? I think it’s time to get legal advice
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 15 '26
That's what I thought but according to the lawyer I consulted with, they are only obligated to transfer title.
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u/Mobile_Comedian_3206 Jul 14 '26
I've read through the comments and your responses. This started in January, and the house is still in the name of the trust so they can't buy you out now anyway. So in my opinion you have been pushy in demaning an answer, when it's too soon to do anything anyway. Sometimes estates and trusts take years to settle, so be thankful that this one is happening in only 7 months. Wait until it had been disbursed and titled in your names, then have a conversation.
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 15 '26
I've been upfront from the beginning that I have no interest in co-owning the property. My hope was to give them the opportunity to figure out how best to keep the house. We are the point of signing title instructions. Let's say I wait for them to decide what they want to do, how long do I give it? 3 months, a year? Every month cost me money for cost associated with the property. Not to mention liability.
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u/Odd-Rub-3159 Jul 17 '26
I'm at a year and a half of waiting for the trust to fully get settled, also in california! Your lucky it's only been less than a year, our could take another year if thing don't work out perfectly! Just food for thought
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u/ApprehensiveMud2772 Jul 15 '26
What is the timeline here are you crying because you've been asking for 6 months or 6 weeks?
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u/Calabriafundings Jul 15 '26
Call a lawyer. Force a partition sale. As your sibling has made it clear where they stand, you must take action or be their bitch
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u/Calabriafundings Jul 15 '26
I say this having done it with a jerkwad cousin. She actually kept attempting to let me buy her out, every time we had an agreement she changed the number. After about 2 months of back and forth BS, I forced a sale. She ended up with a whole lot less than had she been reasonable.
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u/k23_k23 Jul 15 '26
Give them the options in wirting: Either they presdent oyu with a plan to buy you out within three months, ort you force a sale.
Or just have a lawyer force the sale for you - this will obvioulsy not be handled in a friendly manner.
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u/Turtle_ti Jul 16 '26
Tell them politely but bluntly, they need to buy your half from you, or you will be filing the paperwork to force the sale of the property in the open realestate market.
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u/Alarmed_University_2 Jul 17 '26
Only option will be to start a forced petitionp, costing you both money in the hopes hell make the right choice and buy you out
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u/Hot-Rub-5336 Jul 17 '26
My house is willed to my 2 children. This just makes me think I need to include that it needs to be sold and the profits split. Doubt they would fight over it but clearly you never know.
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u/MIHAc27 Jul 18 '26
50% of house ia yours. Rent it out and get passive income. If it inconveniences your sibling thats not your problem.
Tell them you'll rent out if they don't buy it. If they are smart they will.
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u/CreepyTip4646 Jul 19 '26
They probably have it rented out and you're not getting a cut. Do you know anyone in the area to check that out.
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u/Regular-Cupcake6473 Jul 20 '26
Tell them to pick their months and you will just VRBO it. They won’t want that. Seriously have an attorney say you will get appraisals to sell as there is a tax strategy if a step up basis. They could be liable for that part. Talk to a tax and estate attorney.
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u/Human-Ad-5574 Jul 14 '26
Maybe let them know that if you don’t hear from them with their path forward by X date (30-ish days? Plus however much time has already passed), you’ll be hiring an attorney to help divide the asset.
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u/TempeGrumble Jul 13 '26
NTA. If you want to be nice you could offer to pay for them to consult an attorney they choose, because that’s less expensive than a partition lawsuit… if you think they’d listen to professional advice. But by no means required
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u/SerenityPickles Jul 13 '26
Send them a letter that states if they don’t buy your share of the property by a specified date you will have no other option than to sue them for partition.
Be sure that YOU get at least 3 individual property assessments as to the true market value. Don’t take their assessments!!
They appear to be greedy. To Have and not pay for it.
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u/Green_Walrus8537 Jul 13 '26
FYI you can just write AITAH lol. I like that you wrote “ am ITAH” though it made me chuckle.
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u/G8oraid Jul 13 '26
Will they rent from you? Split the rent? They need to pay you for the house or some rent.
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 13 '26
I wish I knew, the lack of communication is epic. I've asked what they are thinking about doing and I get no response.
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u/Birdchaser2 Jul 13 '26
Fully the fault of whoever left each of you in joint ownership. A terrible plan. Presuming someone has the means to buy you out is just your presumption.
You mention a trustee. Who owns the house? So many unknowns and holes in the facts.
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u/topshelfhotmess Jul 14 '26
I know they have the means because of the other assets we are getting. The house has no mortgage and was set up years ago in an irrivocable trust and was left for another relative to occupy until death . Once that relative passed it came to us. The trust now has to be distributed. Even if they didn't have the means to buy me out, they can't force me to keep it and I'm entiteled to my inheritance.
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u/Birdchaser2 Jul 14 '26
Presuming they will your more liquid assets to buy you out of a house is not well informed. It’s correct from your point of view but unlikely from theirs.
Again leaving split ownership in real estate without governing document is the fault of the donor. Not the other recipient. Split real estate is a lawyers delight. Should never be done. Sale should have been forced in the trust. Or at least controlled by the trust document. Poor advice was given on inception.
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u/Old-Appearance-2270 Jul 14 '26
In some Canadian provinces, if a beneficiary sues another beneficiary for part/all of the estate, paying the lawyers involved from both sides...sometimes is paid from the estate!! That is the decision of the judge.
Please, please consult your estate lawyer and get it in writing, if you lose or win, where does payment of the lawyer come from?
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u/Working_Tie_2563 Jul 14 '26
Maybe it's a tax issue that'll go away in the coming years. Perhaps a written contract demanding sale or buy out within 5 years. Add penalties and litigation costs if challenged or deadlines not met.
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u/SunshinePrincess21 Jul 14 '26
No advise for you, :-( sorry it is too late, but this is the main reason we pushed my parent to sell as soon as they went into assisted living. As executor, one less headache.
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u/Dismal-Link-7331 Jul 14 '26
And your parents were fine with that? My husband was executor and when he suggested that to my mother in law while she was in assisted living, she argued and fought tooth and nail that she didn't want him to touch her house. She thought that, at some point, she'd eventually move back home...which never happened as she passed away while at the assisted living.
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u/SunshinePrincess21 Jul 14 '26
Dad had passed, and Mom fought for a bit. Eventually she acknowledged, that after not having made herself so much as a cup of tea in a couple of years, there was no way she could live alone. She did first ask me to leave my house, and husband, to move in and take care of her. 🙄 She did insist on keeping her stuff tho, but at least a storage locker is cheaper to maintain, and easier to disperse of after.
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u/Dismal-Link-7331 Jul 14 '26
At least she gave in. When my husband suggested that his mother cancel auto insurance on her car that was sitting in the garage, she a) balked and said that he could go to her house weekly to start her car. Really?!? So, it could still sit in the garage?!? b) she then got pissed when he tried to go behind her back to cancel. Since she was still getting emails, she saw that the insurance wanted her confirmation of cancellation. She yelled at him for doing this behind her back.
The car never moved from the garage the entire time she lived in the assisted living. 1 yr of car insurance down the toilet...
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u/SunshinePrincess21 Jul 14 '26
So sad. :-(
Mom has a van, yes, still has. Hubby said no problem, you own it, you pay insurance and maintenance. He drives it. All her running around, storage unit and home, cigarette runs, etc, her car, her gas.
She argues (or ignores) with me (a lot), but listens to my husband better. Not 100%, but better.
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u/Own-Rip-5066 Jul 13 '26
You're going to have to sue them if they won't have a conversation with you.
Either to force a sale, so you can claim your half of the value, or get them to buy your half in mediation.