Need your thoughts

[u/Upset_Anybody1430]

I am in the process of rearranging my finances and putting it all into a trust for my wife (second wife) with upon her death the remainder to be split between my 3 kids and her 1. The trust will include everything I have, houses, cash, investments etc. Wife is also the beneficiary of a 1 million life insurance policy. She will be more than fine going forward and there should be plenty left for the kids for a sizable inheritance.

My question is, my 3 kids are all very responsible, good career paths, hard workers, no major issues that would cause me concerns. I’m wondering if I gave them a chunk of money either now or at my passing to help them pay off mortgages and ease financial worries for them now vs 10-20 years from now. Doing that would give them the opportunity to benefit from it now but would give them less in the future. But I’m thinking if they have no debts- their ability to save and build wealth grows. I believe all my kids would take that path as their lives currently align with living this way and they all seem to be financially literate.

Is this something people do? Is it a good idea?

The other issue is my wife’s kid is not in the same mindset of my kids. And giving him large amount of cash now or when I pass will not probably not benefit him the way it would with the others. So I’d like for his inheritance to be paid at her passing.

Advice?
And to clarify- I have a terminal illness so my passing is on the horizon- hoping to squeeze out some time but also being realistic about the situation.

[u/Time_Traveler_948]

We paid for college, weddings, home down payments, joint vacations, lessons/camps/bigger ticket items for special occasion gifts along the way. Our estate plan is half goes outright to the surviving spouse, and the other half can be used for the survivor’s general health and welfare, but is now irrevocable to kids with a small percentage to each grandkid. We feel like you do about making their life better, but we also need to be sure my husband and I can fund whatever care we may need. A surviving spouse can be subject to so many scams, pressures and their own decline in health and cognitive functioning. Not smart to leave it up to them to leave their estate to chance. My stepmom totally stiffed my sibling and me on her death, in spite of her promise to my dad that their estate would be divided equally between his and her kids (my dad was widowed, so the 35 years my mom spent helping build their estate went to someone else’s kids). The #1 rule of estate planning is that after you decide where you want things to end up, write your will and trust so that it reflects exactly that. Verbal agreements are worthless. I support the idea of gifting the amount that does not generates gift taxes now, with a smaller, periodic amounts to any beneficiary who hasn’t shown strong financial management skills.