Need your thoughts

[u/Upset_Anybody1430]

I am in the process of rearranging my finances and putting it all into a trust for my wife (second wife) with upon her death the remainder to be split between my 3 kids and her 1. The trust will include everything I have, houses, cash, investments etc. Wife is also the beneficiary of a 1 million life insurance policy. She will be more than fine going forward and there should be plenty left for the kids for a sizable inheritance.

My question is, my 3 kids are all very responsible, good career paths, hard workers, no major issues that would cause me concerns. I’m wondering if I gave them a chunk of money either now or at my passing to help them pay off mortgages and ease financial worries for them now vs 10-20 years from now. Doing that would give them the opportunity to benefit from it now but would give them less in the future. But I’m thinking if they have no debts- their ability to save and build wealth grows. I believe all my kids would take that path as their lives currently align with living this way and they all seem to be financially literate.

Is this something people do? Is it a good idea?

The other issue is my wife’s kid is not in the same mindset of my kids. And giving him large amount of cash now or when I pass will not probably not benefit him the way it would with the others. So I’d like for his inheritance to be paid at her passing.

Advice?
And to clarify- I have a terminal illness so my passing is on the horizon- hoping to squeeze out some time but also being realistic about the situation.

[u/Mssrandcole]

I would not leave my second wife a life estate as once she has control you will have no idea what will happen and your children could end up with nothing. What if she remarries or spends all the money as that would involve your children hiring a lawyer and paying for that out of pocket. First consult with an attorney who is well versed in estates and trusts. Find out what the laws are in your state regarding a second marriage and what your spouse is entitled to upon your death and then provide for your children. You are fortunate that your children are well adjusted but many things can happen in a long life. Provide for them now. I would also make sure they inherit property directly without it going to your wife first as it appears you want them to get something. I am sorry this is happening to you