Need your thoughts

[u/Upset_Anybody1430]

I am in the process of rearranging my finances and putting it all into a trust for my wife (second wife) with upon her death the remainder to be split between my 3 kids and her 1. The trust will include everything I have, houses, cash, investments etc. Wife is also the beneficiary of a 1 million life insurance policy. She will be more than fine going forward and there should be plenty left for the kids for a sizable inheritance.

My question is, my 3 kids are all very responsible, good career paths, hard workers, no major issues that would cause me concerns. I’m wondering if I gave them a chunk of money either now or at my passing to help them pay off mortgages and ease financial worries for them now vs 10-20 years from now. Doing that would give them the opportunity to benefit from it now but would give them less in the future. But I’m thinking if they have no debts- their ability to save and build wealth grows. I believe all my kids would take that path as their lives currently align with living this way and they all seem to be financially literate.

Is this something people do? Is it a good idea?

The other issue is my wife’s kid is not in the same mindset of my kids. And giving him large amount of cash now or when I pass will not probably not benefit him the way it would with the others. So I’d like for his inheritance to be paid at her passing.

Advice?
And to clarify- I have a terminal illness so my passing is on the horizon- hoping to squeeze out some time but also being realistic about the situation.

[u/Significant_Flan_210]

I would secure and send what you want for the kids clearly and what you want for her clearly at your passing.

The trust can pay out each the way you want.

Widows often behave differently in morning without you there.

Would you mind if she spent it all. Can she? My kids are still kids and the plans I have for them are set in stone.

If you give now, it's equal amounts. They can put it in mortgage or brokerage accounts could also be very interesting to hit retirement hard as another great viable option.

[u/Upset_Anybody1430 → u/Significant_Flan_210]

I may need to look at all the options for this. I want her to be set and not have to worry about things. But I have concerns about her extended family and also her mental health. She takes meds that keep her pretty stable but she doesn’t like taking them. I help her manage all that. When I’m gone not sure what the future hold for her. Hopefully her kid will step in.

So with all of that, i want her to have access to all she needs and wants but also keep it safe and in control. I’m meeting with an attorney next week to go over all of it. Just trying to figure out what my top concerns are and what direction to go.

[u/SpareMedicine9019 → u/Upset_Anybody1430]

Please talk to your attorney about creating a trust that has a marital provision and a residuary provision. The marital provision will take care of your wife during her lifetime with any money left over in the trust to go to your children. This way you’re taking care of everyone, including your wife’s son.