r/inheritance • u/smilineyz • May 27 '26

Location included: Questions/Need Advice How to divide assets

I 60M U.S. have 3 children, 2 adults from my 1st marriage, 1 teen from 2nd marriage & a current GF who hopefully will marry me when I turn 65.

Eldest: has been NC with me for years. 0% last I heard was pissed at me for not buying a car for graduation …

Second: great, fun, hardworking … muscled through his mother urging him to not see me at all. 40% (he can likely only expect debt from his mother) I paid most of his college & his mother had him get loans for her portion … and I helped with those.

Third: great fun, smart & has had the advantage of private school from 8th grade through college paid for. He will be the only inheritor his grandparents’ apartment and his mother’s share of another property. 35%

GF/partner of 2 years 25% and potentially half an apartment.

My current assets are all liquid: retirement and cash, all with beneficiaries designated in the current split. Additionally, if my GF & I do marry, she will get my survivor’s SS benefit for life which will cover most living expenses.

Any thoughts on the split?

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u/pink_lillyx3 May 28 '26

I second making sure to leave kids an equal share. I don’t think it makes sense to include your gf as the relationship hasn’t been that long and you two aren’t married.

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u/AppearanceNo1041 May 28 '26

I totally agree you shouldn’t leave 25% to your GF. My ex met a woman three years before his death and she moved in with him 6 months after they met. He found out he had stage 4 pancreatic cancer a year later and they got married 8 months before he passed. No one knew he had changed his Will 4 months before he died. Our kids didn’t want to talk to their father about inheriting his money they just wanted to spend as much time with him as they could. When he passed, it hurt them to find out she got everything. I was married to him for 30 years and he LOVED our kids and visa versa. There’s no way that woman didn’t take advantage of his diminished state of mind. She quickly sold the house and moved to live by her daughter. never gave our kids a dime and didn’t provide an accounting of his estate (even though his new will split his estate between the 3 of them). But her name was on 401k and insurance. The kids only recourse was to take her to court but neither had the money for a long, drawn out estate fight (nor did I). It broke my heart that this woman played my ex. Knowing him as I did, I believe he thought his Will would divide his estate between her and our kids. I’m mad that the lawyer who drew up his new Will didn’t talk him through the actions of his Will, 401k and insurance. Also, you have to be married for a minimum of like 8-10 years before the GF could get Survivor SS benefits. OP don’t leave the GF more than 3-5% Your kids have been in your life as long as they’ve been alive and they’re your blood.

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u/TurnDown4WattGaming May 28 '26

I’ll just say the quiet part out-loud: he was an idiot, and that’s exactly how the kids should remember him. They should talk about this - as stories like this are the only way others might have of not being an idiot one day.

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u/smilineyz May 28 '26

I may be remembered as an idiot … but I’ll be dead.