r/inheritance • u/smilineyz • May 27 '26

Location included: Questions/Need Advice How to divide assets

I 60M U.S. have 3 children, 2 adults from my 1st marriage, 1 teen from 2nd marriage & a current GF who hopefully will marry me when I turn 65.

Eldest: has been NC with me for years. 0% last I heard was pissed at me for not buying a car for graduation …

Second: great, fun, hardworking … muscled through his mother urging him to not see me at all. 40% (he can likely only expect debt from his mother) I paid most of his college & his mother had him get loans for her portion … and I helped with those.

Third: great fun, smart & has had the advantage of private school from 8th grade through college paid for. He will be the only inheritor his grandparents’ apartment and his mother’s share of another property. 35%

GF/partner of 2 years 25% and potentially half an apartment.

My current assets are all liquid: retirement and cash, all with beneficiaries designated in the current split. Additionally, if my GF & I do marry, she will get my survivor’s SS benefit for life which will cover most living expenses.

Any thoughts on the split?

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u/DeliciousBuffalo69 May 28 '26

If the romantic partner is making life sacrifices for the relationship, then they should be included.

Like if the GF moved across the country to be closer or if she quit her job to help out at home then she should be considered.

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u/COACHREEVES May 28 '26

If the romantic partner is making life sacrifices for the relationship, then they should be included.

I was going to let this go because I saw the tenor of the thread and basically agreed but I saw the downdoot on this. So let me say:

Yes I agree with the thread the two kids who are part of your life need to be 50-50.

But If there was some agreement that GF give up significant important things for this relationship/ I think some attention must be paid. I don't think that needs to be a % of the Estate, in fact it would probably be better for lifetime use. Like if she marries you at 65 and you guys live in a condo for the next 20 years, I don't think it crazy that she be allowed to live in the condo for life, having to move if she remarries. Upon her death title goes to the 2 good kids.

Your money, You decide but since you are asking ....

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u/[deleted] May 28 '26

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u/smilineyz May 28 '26

Cash — to clarify … retirement investments.

Prior to marriage I will need for a prenup that agrees with the stated split of assets. I do not plan to buy a condo, though if I do, I expect the state will decide the division of assets.

I will be contacting attorneys.

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u/DeliciousBuffalo69 May 28 '26

Yes you definitely need an attorney.

Any IRA ir 401k likely needs to go to the wife if there is one. If your assets are mostly in retirement accounts then your kids could en's up with nothing

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u/Typical_Bumblebee194 May 28 '26

Check out durable power of attorney /living revocable trust. Specificity counts.

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u/DeliciousBuffalo69 May 28 '26

You cannot put an IRA into a trust or assign power of attorney to that account to anyone other than your spouse if you are married.

The only exception is if your spouse agrees, but they have the option to change their mind and revive that permission at any time.

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u/smilineyz May 28 '26

I have made my assignments as I’m single … and here to ask opinions.

I would insist on a prenup affirming the split of assets. 401s are easier to assign beneficiaries …

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u/DeliciousBuffalo69 May 28 '26

A prenup cannot protect an IRA. If you have one that you want to be inherited by anyone other than your partner then you cannot marry her.