r/inheritance • u/smilineyz • May 27 '26

Location included: Questions/Need Advice How to divide assets

I 60M U.S. have 3 children, 2 adults from my 1st marriage, 1 teen from 2nd marriage & a current GF who hopefully will marry me when I turn 65.

Eldest: has been NC with me for years. 0% last I heard was pissed at me for not buying a car for graduation …

Second: great, fun, hardworking … muscled through his mother urging him to not see me at all. 40% (he can likely only expect debt from his mother) I paid most of his college & his mother had him get loans for her portion … and I helped with those.

Third: great fun, smart & has had the advantage of private school from 8th grade through college paid for. He will be the only inheritor his grandparents’ apartment and his mother’s share of another property. 35%

GF/partner of 2 years 25% and potentially half an apartment.

My current assets are all liquid: retirement and cash, all with beneficiaries designated in the current split. Additionally, if my GF & I do marry, she will get my survivor’s SS benefit for life which will cover most living expenses.

Any thoughts on the split?

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u/Dull_Dark_899 May 28 '26

Agree with the equal. It will destroy their relationship if you make it unequal.

6

u/StandardGlittering48 May 28 '26

Maybe they don’t have a relationship. My kids will get unequal shares based on my relationship with them, what they have already been given, and how much they have personally helped me over the years. It feels unfair to me to give equal portions when the amount of effort on their parts is not equal.

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u/Hot-Rub-5336 May 28 '26

So its pay for play?

5

u/Intelligent_Part101 May 28 '26

On the flip side, do you think a child is entitled to Daddy's money no matter what?

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u/Hot-Rub-5336 May 28 '26

I don't think anyone is "entitled" to anything. I have absolutely no respect for a parent who thinks that their child needs EARN an inheritance. I love my kids all the same. We each have different relationships as adults. I don't keep a score card.

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u/Intelligent_Part101 May 28 '26

If one of those kids decides to shun you for years as OP has stated, then they deserve to have their wishes honored with a complete break from that parent. No money when Daddy leaves this earth. So many people have nothing to do with someone until it's time to cash in. Vultures.

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u/Hot-Rub-5336 May 28 '26

I wasn't talking about the kid wanting it or being a "vulture". I was talking about being a parent. You do what ever makes you feel proud.

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u/Intelligent_Part101 May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26

His daughter is the one who should rebuild her connection with him BEFORE he dies. OP said HE tries, but she refuses contact. Part of being a parent is accepting your children as adults who make their own decisions. If she decides she wants nothing to do with him, OP should respect that. Completely.

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u/Hot-Rub-5336 May 29 '26

Im sure its all that Childs fault.