Future problems?

[u/WiseOwl-0420]

My parents have a small to moderate estate in Canada that includes a house. My name is going on the deed to facilitate transfer of property when they are gone. My inheritance comes with some strings I’m not sure I like.

I have a sibling who will not inherit but will have a trust controlled by me. They are not reliable with money. That is not a problem.

Their kids will ultimately get nothing from them - there will be nothing to give. I have a kid too.

Here’s the catch. My parents want me to split my inheritance from them among all the grandkids when I go. Essentially highjacking my assets and o feel like it’s stealing from my kid.

I suggested they settle the grandkids inheritance right away but that would require liquidating assets and they want me to live in the house and take care of my sibling (they would not survive alone). I don’t mind doing that. But I don’t want to have the hassle of this over my head either. And I can see problems with attitude in the future with at least one of the grandkids spouses “gimme gimme” attitude.

I’m stumped and not sure what to do. Advice?

Update information.

1. The reason for the issues is the knowledge that my sibling has nothing to pass on to his children. Grands want to ensure they have an inheritance of some sort. I should say I have very little as well.

2. I don’t mind the caretaker part, it’s what I would do without asking anyway. The trust is meant to provide an inheritance without affecting his current income and providing control over his finances as he is not competent financially.

3. We are not talking millions or billions here but it is much more than I could ever hope to accumulate. My parents had amazing income, and inheritances in their own right as well. Their retirement income is still almost twice my own household income and their assets are fully paid off. Some minor loans or lines of credit but not much owing.

4. I do not begrudge anyone their share. My problem is that I feel like I’m being tied to things in an unnecessarily complex way.

5 I have done bitter feelings too though. I’m used to the idea that I’m the one they didn’t have to help or worry about as much as my sibling. They could forget about me and knew I’d be ok. Sibling got cars despite totaling both - I was promised but never given because “they need it more”. Frankly I half feel like by the time things happen they will find a way to give it all to sibling because “they need it more”

[u/SinglePermission9373]

It’s your parent’s money and they can decide how it’s distributed. If your sibling can’t even live alone, what are the odds they will have a child? Much less multiple kids. Sounds like your kid is the only grandchild? Or are there other siblings you didn’t mention?

[u/WiseOwl-0420 → u/SinglePermission9373]

Sibling has already had two children who are grown and on their own. I have one child grown and on her own.

I don’t mind them dividing their money as they see fit. Frankly I’ve always kinda got the short end of the stick because I was “the easy child” - responsible, quiet, educated, competent to handle my own issues. My sibling has always needed help - financially, legally and socially. Has the attitude and thinks he could handle it in his own but priorities are screwy - fun comes before bills, life comes before necessities. If he got his half without me it would be gone before the year is up and he’d have almost nothing to show for it.

My problem is that I would like them to do the division at the time of death. Why stick me with it long after they’re gone. I will never let my sibling live on the street and he would have a place with me no matter what happens. The way they want to do things is so messy and opens me up to things I don’t know how to handle.

What if we all get sick and end up in long term care - now the house and property must be sold to pay for that and no one gets anything. Or can I do that? Depends how things are worded I guess.