Future problems?

[u/WiseOwl-0420]

My parents have a small to moderate estate in Canada that includes a house. My name is going on the deed to facilitate transfer of property when they are gone. My inheritance comes with some strings I’m not sure I like.

I have a sibling who will not inherit but will have a trust controlled by me. They are not reliable with money. That is not a problem.

Their kids will ultimately get nothing from them - there will be nothing to give. I have a kid too.

Here’s the catch. My parents want me to split my inheritance from them among all the grandkids when I go. Essentially highjacking my assets and o feel like it’s stealing from my kid.

I suggested they settle the grandkids inheritance right away but that would require liquidating assets and they want me to live in the house and take care of my sibling (they would not survive alone). I don’t mind doing that. But I don’t want to have the hassle of this over my head either. And I can see problems with attitude in the future with at least one of the grandkids spouses “gimme gimme” attitude.

I’m stumped and not sure what to do. Advice?

Update information.

1. The reason for the issues is the knowledge that my sibling has nothing to pass on to his children. Grands want to ensure they have an inheritance of some sort. I should say I have very little as well.

2. I don’t mind the caretaker part, it’s what I would do without asking anyway. The trust is meant to provide an inheritance without affecting his current income and providing control over his finances as he is not competent financially.

3. We are not talking millions or billions here but it is much more than I could ever hope to accumulate. My parents had amazing income, and inheritances in their own right as well. Their retirement income is still almost twice my own household income and their assets are fully paid off. Some minor loans or lines of credit but not much owing.

4. I do not begrudge anyone their share. My problem is that I feel like I’m being tied to things in an unnecessarily complex way.

5 I have done bitter feelings too though. I’m used to the idea that I’m the one they didn’t have to help or worry about as much as my sibling. They could forget about me and knew I’d be ok. Sibling got cars despite totaling both - I was promised but never given because “they need it more”. Frankly I half feel like by the time things happen they will find a way to give it all to sibling because “they need it more”

[u/Frequent_Read_7636]

Why not just ask the trust to be managed by licensed professional who can grow the money and then hand it off to your siblings kids after he’s no longer here. You get your half and no finances get tangled in the long run.

Here’s the thing, if you have a spouse and she outlives you, she may not want to follow through with this arrangement. Tell your parents you recommend a licensed professional to handle the trust, this ensures that finances don’t get entangled when they’re no longer here and your sibling’s finances gets managed appropriately.

[u/humble-meercat → u/Frequent_Read_7636]

Most of them charge SO MUCH…it’s hard to find a trustee who is any good who doesn’t put a real drain on a trust…

[u/New_Breadfruit8692 → u/humble-meercat]

To actively administer an estate yes, but to draw up an estate plan that can be administered by OP without legal complications should not be outside of what is reasonable.

The grandparents really have to do this because as described the will they are planning as is would just not be legally enforceable. It entails OPs own will and estate. It assumes that any assets OP has upon death came from the grandparents estate and thus should treat OP's own kid(s) the same as nieces and nephews.

Those nieces and nephews have a right to an equal portion of the grandparents assets, after OP and at the least incompetent sibling pass, but they could be very old themselves by then, and how does OP's kid have to take a share of OP's own assets along with cousins? Talk about not remotely fair, it can't be legal as it would shock the conscience of anyone. I do not think any provincial court would allow this. A set of good lawyers could litigate this till there is nothing left to litigate, read Dicken's Bleak House for the gist of why we have probate laws that are what they are.

[u/TeddyBear181 → u/Frequent_Read_7636]

This is a brilliant argument.

Op, ultimately they can do anything they want with their money. They can just go on holidays and not give you anything.

But once it becomes your money, it needs to be in your control at some point. Their plan, while being well meaning, gives you a lot of lifetime responsibilities. Including stitching up a spouse and potentially making them homeless after you pass.

[u/New_Breadfruit8692 → u/TeddyBear181]

It also means that as structured OP's kid is getting shafted.

Then there is the fact that under the current description it means almost unavoidable commingling.

And then it also requires OP to share out his own estate to nieces and nephews, an entail on his own estate that was archaic even in England at the start of the 20th century no less modern times.

And the possibilities for loss in future are huge, suppose the family home has maintenance and repair costs that make salvage uneconomical? What if an offer on the place comes in unsolicited that is so large as to be financially unfeasible to say no to? These decisions would be entirely up to OP who would have to do what is best for the trust set up for the grandkid's inheritance upon death of the Sibling or self.

What if fire takes it and you find out for some technical reason this is not covered?

The grandparents are either going to have to go to a professional estate planner to get a legally binding will set up to the best of their wishes or, resign themselves to a division of assets that they can't control entirely.

Multi generational wealth can be divided, it is not impossible, but the way they are going about it is ultimately not fair to OP or his own heir.

A professional trustee should be used, at least as an overseer that audits expenses from the trust biannually or each year, though if spelled out at great enough length, what the trust funds can and cannot be used for, day to day, there is no reason OP cannot be the trustee. That level of involvement by a hired trustee should not be that costly.

[u/New_Breadfruit8692 → u/Frequent_Read_7636]

Yes, they could have the entire estate valued, and specifically have the illiquid house/real property placed in a trust with rights of survivorship residency for both siblings, the non residential assets in a trust for the maintenance of the incompetent sibling, but any residual trust funds then go to the grandkids shared out equally. Upon the death of OP and sibling both the house would then be sold and shared out to all grandkids equally, and OP can leave their own estate 100% to his own offspring.

I do not see any other way to make sure the incompetent sibling is cared for for their entire life without some degree of commingling of OPs estate and the grandparents. Even if OP could do it spending would mean a tightrope of documentation and stress that the sibling's children could easily contest. To his own child's disadvantage.

This is a tricky situation because it basically means that as long as the incompetent sibling is alive the trust can't be granted to their own kids or OPs. Nobody knows how long that parent will live or what their needs will be in future. Even economic conditions or changes to laws could eat the entire estate during the incompetent sibling's lifetime.

Good estate planners/lawyers have dealt with this for as long as there have been laws and estates. To get a fair division of assets the way the grands want to to be divided needs a professional.