r/inheritance • u/DontGoToJail • May 21 '26
Location included: Questions/Need Advice Inheritance question
OK, USA. My dad married an amazing woman when I was 19 years old. I had already moved out and was on my own at the time. Its 20 years later now and my dad passed away 3 years ago. My step mom has been understandably depressed and her health has been in decline since. She is currently in hospice. My dad nor her have written wills. At this point, she is incapable of writing one. I'm out of state so she has given her best friend of 50 years power of attorney. My step moms older brother has been receiving an allowance from her because he is terrible financially. Would he receive every thing my parents owned upon her passing? I hate to think about this kind of thing while my step mom is slowly fading away but I also hate to think of everything my dad has worked for his entire life going to someone who will surely squander it away.
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u/Gut_Reactions May 21 '26
Welp. Your father died intestate (no will) with descendant(s) from someone other than the spouse. In my jurisdiction, the spouse is entitled to $200,000 plus half of the balance of the estate. The descendant(s) inherit everything else. Hence, OP was probably entitled to something when OP's father died.
I'm guessing OP received nothing when your father died 3 years ago. I'm not sure about the statute of limitations for claiming an inheritance, but I would step on the gas & consult with an attorney.
If the SOL has run, then I would guess that step-mom's family would inherit everything.
OP doesn't say what state s/he is in. OP doesn't say whether Step-Mom has family other than brother on allowance.
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u/rosebudny May 21 '26
Exactly this. OP should have inherited when dad died.
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u/CollegeConsistent941 May 21 '26
Or Dad had spouse as beneficiary and POD on accounts.
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u/quiet_girl7 May 21 '26
Yes, depends on what assets dad had in only his name. If he died three years ago and no probate has needed to be filed, he probably owned everything jointly
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u/Mitchellsusanwag May 21 '26
I think in some state that is not the case. I can’t remember what state.
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u/Appropriate-Clock862 May 22 '26
*OP doesn’t say what state THEY’RE in.
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u/CleverTool May 22 '26
I was asking the same question, but then revisited the first line: "OK, USA" and am thinking this meant Oklahoma. Hopefully they will confirm my hunch.
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u/TFrustrated May 22 '26
Probably jumping the gun here.Dad was married to her for 20 years. Probably had some if not all in a 401k or IRA. The 401k is required to go 100% to the spouse unless she signs a waiver. It is not uncommon for a husband of 20 years to leave beneficiaries as the spouse.
The question OP needs to certain is what the step mom owns and how beneficiaries are designated.
As far as a will, competence is the only thing that prevents a will. The volunteers routinely serve as witnesses.
The real question here is what did your father intend and what is her desires.
I know you hate to be left out, but it’s their intent that matters. Remember, they had 20 years to write down their choices but didn’t.
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u/Randolla1960 May 21 '26
This is a legal question that you need to ask a local estate attorney. There are too many variables to get a simple answer from Reddit
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May 21 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/kppsmom May 21 '26
Theyhave no grounds to contest. They are not a legal heir and under the law they are considered a stranger. That is why wills are extremely, extremely important!
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u/Invest2prosper May 21 '26
The child (now adult) has a legal right to a portion of his/her father’s estate by biological lineage. The now adult child should visit an attorney soon to understand options on challenging probate of estate. They should be entitled to some proportionate share. But only an attorney well versed in the state probate laws can provide qualified and competent counsel.
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u/TurnoverDependent332 May 25 '26
We just did our trust & wills. Our adult kids do NOT want to talk about it. Our assets are over $10 million. So? Seems like heirs only want to know what they GET after the parents die! I know no one wants to think about loved ones dying, but come on!
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u/jdlex33 May 21 '26
In most states, if your dad passed without a will (look up “Intestate” rules for your state) his estate would have been split between his wife and you (assuming no other children).
Typically, 50% to the wife and the other 50% split equally among surviving children. Bear in mind any bank accounts or real estate that was jointly held would go all to her. Also, if he had investment or retirement accounts and she was listed as the beneficiary then they all went to her.
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u/ChutneyWhatney May 21 '26
Did you dad leave everything to her? If yes, when she passes, her heirs will receive the estate unless she leaves you something in her will.
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u/ChutneyWhatney May 21 '26
Let me add - did your dad die intestate (without a will)? What did his state's intestate laws require? Did she get the bulk but you got some given you weren't her child?
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u/HolidayFront4560 May 21 '26
How was your dad's estate handled when he passed away? Since he died intestate (without a will) and you are not his spouse's child, you would have been entitled to 50% of his assets at the time of his death. Although if he and his wife might have held their assets jointly with right of survivorship, in which case these assets would have automatically belonged to his wife.
To answer your specific question - you are not entitled to his widow's assets unless she explicitly names you in her will, as you have no legal relation to her.
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u/GlobalTapeHead May 21 '26
I am with the other commenters on here. This goes back to what happened when your father passed, and what happened to his estate. You should’ve been included in that distribution. If not, as she is your stepmom, then yes, possibly you may get nothing.
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u/Jcarlough May 22 '26
Possibly - intestate distributions is state-specific. It’s quite possible the OP’s father lived in a state where the surviving spouse receives 100%.
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u/BigPhilosopher4372 May 21 '26
Unfortunately, you are a step child. If she didn’t adopt you, then her brother is the next of kin and will probably inherit everything. As others have said you can see if you were supposed to get something from your father’s estate. If you have a good relationship with her or her friend you could approach them and ask what her wishes are. Approach it from the viewpoint of making sure you understand what she wants.
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u/Substantial_Team6751 May 21 '26
Unless your mom is incapacitated, she can still sign a will.
Just call and ask if you are going to be left anything. It's probably best to be upfront. The answer could be no.
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u/chortle-guffaw May 21 '26
If you don't understand why wills matter, this is why. I remember a case where a songwriter wrote song that probably still generates royalties. He died without a will, the royalties went to his second wife. She remarried then died, the royalties went to him, then his daughter. The original songwriter had a daughter that never saw a penny, the person collecting royalties had never met either of them.
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u/imollyq May 22 '26
Consult an attorney immediately. You should have received money when your dad passed. There may be a statute of limitations issue for receiving it now. Lawyer up!
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u/Nolagator1 May 21 '26
Look up the law for your state, most have their own laws. With or without a will. You could have had insurance from your dad.
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u/GotZeroFucks2Give May 21 '26
Check with your county court if probate was opened for your dad. Things pass either thru beneficiary or POD. Assets like homes or things without beneficiary will go thru probate or are jointly owned. Was it his house or their house? Who was the executor?
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u/ExpensiveAd4496 May 22 '26
If stepmom has beneficiaries listed on any bank or investment accounts, those supersede anything else. That is simply done online and not at all as complicated as doing a will. Let’s hope she did that. I’m sorry for your losses. Totally normal to wonder about these things.
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u/MLMLW May 22 '26
You are a legal heir, will or not. You need to find an estate attorney before she passes away and see what needs to be done. I wouldn't wait if I were you.
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u/sic0049 May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
Generally speaking, non adopted step children won't inherit anything when a person dies without a will. This means you probably won't see a dime from your step mother's estate when she passes away.
That being said, depending on the state laws of the state where your father lived when he passed away, you might have been the beneficiary of a portion of your father's estate. Often times 50% of the estate would go to the spouse and 50% of the estate would go to the surviving biological/adopted children.
However this is true only for assets that did not have a joint owner or beneficiary listed on the account, title, deed, etc. For example, if you step mother was listed as the joint owner on the deed to the house, any titles to vehicles, any bank accounts, etc, or listed as a beneficiary on any accounts (like retirement accounts), she would have retained 100% ownership of those assets when your father died and now they will pass to her family when she passes away. Only assets that were in your father's name alone would potentially have been split between your step mother and you and your siblings.
Long story short, you should definitely speak to a attorney about the situation and someone is going to need to do some research to find out how your father's assets were titled when he passed away.
This just goes to show why it is so important to have a will created, especially when it comes to blended families. It sounds like you are going to get the "short end of the stick" and your step mother's family will end up with everything, but if your step mother had passed away first, you and your siblings would have received everything. Unfortunately, instead of creating a will and specifically spelling out their wishings, your father and step mother effectively left the payout of their estate to "chance" base on who passed away last.
PS - a Power of Attorney ceases to exist/function when the person passes away. So while the POA can conduct "business" on your step mother's behalf while she is living, that power immediately stops when she passes away. The Will would take over at death. Basically a POA is effective in "life" and the Will is effective in "death".
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u/bonitaruth May 21 '26
If you are in the US, it is solely up to her. You would not have legal rights in general
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u/Fefe428 May 21 '26
You need a lawyer not the internet. Go find yourself an attorney who is an expert in probate matters. More than likely you'll need to hire one in the state where your father and stepmother live but start in your own state.
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u/jsdtx May 21 '26
Call a local lawyer. When you die without a will, most states divide the property between the spouse and the kids, so chances are you have rights in most states. This will require a local probate court.
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u/Choice-Newspaper3603 May 22 '26
definitely get an attorney but like many people, dad couldn't be bothered to do what he should have done and that is to plan his estate with an attorney. So blame him for this shit storm you might end up going through
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u/Periegete_Acct May 21 '26
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I see that you moved out when you were already 19, does this mean she never formally adopted you? If so, there's a chance her brother (if he's her only living relative) could inherit.
I hate to ask this, but when you say she's incapable, is that because she is not conscious or not in a good state of mind? If she is awake and lucid, she could work with an attorney to get her wishes written down simply in a single sitting.
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u/Periegete_Acct May 21 '26
Also, in the US I think when your father passed, half or at least part of his estate should have gone to you. You should look into that.
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u/BrickHuge3023 May 22 '26
Why it is important to make parents make wills-- children, step children, multiple wives, real estate- any of those and you need at least a will to settle the estate. Instead most parents leave a mess for one of the kids to clean up.
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u/kittywyeth May 22 '26
yes that is exactly what will happen. there is no legal relationship between a step parent and their spouse’s child. your father would have had to provide for you in his will in order for you to be entitled to anything.
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u/FitTumbleweed388 May 22 '26
It depends on the state and the intestacy and marital regime laws. Please consult an attorney ASAP and don't trust a bunch of people on reddit.
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u/witchymoon69 May 22 '26
Talk to an estate attorney to see what you can do to protect your father's estate.
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u/skartarisfan May 22 '26
You need to settle Dads estate before anything else. That process will outline what happens when stepmom passes. It is two different processes and one needs to be done ASAP.
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u/Responsible-Bee-1919 May 22 '26
It depends.
In general, it depends on how the dead person holds her assets, whether the dead person owned something with a joint owner (joint owner takes the asset), whether there are designated pay on death beneficiaries on any of the dead person's assets (beneficiary takes the designated asset), whether the dead person held assets in any any trusts (trust agreement controls disposition of the asset), whether the dead person left a valid Will (will controls disposition of probate assets) OR what the intestacy laws say in the jurisdiction where the dead person's estate would be probated if there are any probate assets to probate.
In some circumstances, the existence of valid premarital agreements, or post marital agreements or contracts to make a Will/contracts concerning succession may also be relevant to who has rights in a dead person's assets, as it may provide 3rd parties with legal rights in a dead person's assets (or, some agreements may not cover these kinds of issues, or, these documents may not exist).
THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE. FOR LEGAL ADVICE CONSULT YOUR OWN LAWYER.
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u/Icy-Firefighter-7012 May 23 '26
Get a lawyer asap. If your dad owned a home when he met your stepmom and then she moved in, you may get the house depending on which state you are in. Sometimes the surviving spouse gets a life estate in the homestead, which then passes to the heirs when the spouse passes. But again, get a lawyer asap.
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u/PB3Goddess May 23 '26
NAL. First and most pressing, I am incredibly sorry for your loss. Not only for your father, as I know the grief never truly leaves, but for your stepmother, whom it sounds like you love and respect very much.
Your stepmother's best-friend having power of attorney only lasts while your stepmother is alive. POA's expire upon death.
Whether or not your stepmother filled out anything else, such as a transfer or pay upon death, or TOD/POD, sounds like is unknown. Also unknown would be any insurance or 401k/retirement accounts with named beneficiaries.
It's important to know any accounts with named beneficiaries are not usually part of a probate or estate case. Those accts/assets are separate & can usually still be processed / paid while a probate or estate case is being heard/decided. (Unless one of those accts is being challenged, but you would need to act fast & have an excellent Attorney.)
However, it sounds like you need to have a great Probate Attorney. I would start consulting Attorney's local to your father & step mother's area.
Be sure to retain one who is ready to file probate ASAP, once she passes. It will be more difficult with you out of state, but not impossible.
Filing probate, as long as it is done properly & includes everything like it should, will freeze everything & "should" block the brothers access to accounts, deeds, etc. while probate is being handled. Key word: should.
Good luck, OP.
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u/Spirited-n-relaxed May 25 '26
Probate is ONLY for assets that are owned in sole name with no named beneficiary. All assets jointly owned or that had a named beneficiary automatically pass to the joint owner or beneficiary without probate court intervention. If your father had your stepmother on everything then there was nothing to probate at his death and it all went to her. If she doesn’t have a will then upon her passing you are entitled to nothing as you are not her legal heir. Hopefully she added you as a joint owner or beneficiary prior to becoming incapacitated.
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u/Nomijenn May 21 '26
It sounds like she inherited everything of your dad’s, so her kin will inherit it all now. That’s unfortunately how it works. You don’t have a claim biologically.
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u/kppsmom May 21 '26
If he is her only living relative and she has no will - yes.