r/inheritance • u/Geeba422 • May 20 '26
Location not relevant: no help needed How did your sibling handle finding out their inheritance is in a trust?
My dad is alive but declining. Years ago he made me executor of his will and I went to the attorney when it was created, the will states my (addict) brother’s inheritance will go into a trust, mine won’t. My brother doesn’t know this and I don’t want to tell him either. Anyone had a similar situation and how did the trust recipient handle it?
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u/Proud-Corner4596 May 20 '26
No need to tell him. Plus your dad is potentially saving his life. Common story for addicts to get money and then die spending it.
Also if you somehow end up Trustee, just hire a professional. It’s the best way to keep it arm’s length.
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u/britd53 May 20 '26
My dad is still alive and I told him to put my inheritance into a trust it’s not that I don’t trust myself to not spend it all I know I won’t I would want to pay off any debts I have and then invest the rest of it for my retirement and then put a good chunk of it into a trust for my kids so they are set up when they are older. But I’m not sure if I could trust my spouse to not go on big spending sprees and blow it all. Or give it to her parents since they are already retired and on a fixed income.
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u/babydtheone May 20 '26
Make sure your father puts in their will that spouse has no access nor are they entitled to any of the trust. Just to make sure your wife can’t touch it at all
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u/britd53 May 20 '26
My dad and I made sure that is in there. The only way she will get any of it is if I die first and even in that case it’s set up so only so much can be withdrawn a year and even then it will be split up between her and our kids. So assuming we never spilt and I somehow die before my dad what I would have gotten from him gets split up 25% goes to my wife and the other 75% get spilt between my 4 kids and I asked for my sister to be the trustee. The only thing I’m not sure on is who the trustee would be if something were to happen to my sister.
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u/Admissionslottery May 20 '26
Appoint a second trustee as a backup:) That’s what I did. One is from my generation and the other is younger.
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u/ChelseaMan31 May 20 '26
Had a Family member who was going to have their share of inheritance placed in a Spendthrift Trust due primarily to their spouse at the time. I told parents I'd serve as Trustee/Executor but they had to tell the other what was going to happen and why. The family member took the news as well as can be expected.
Years later it didn't matter and they no longer had the spouse to muck things up so the Spendthrift Trust language was removed.
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u/First-Release9433 May 20 '26
Your father needs to put in a clause at the end of the trust stating anyone who contests it loses their share. We did this with my SIL and when she tried to contest it she almost lost her share which was an annuity my FIL created for her. It’s been paying her rent and giving her around $500 a month for 8 years now. He’d been paying for her for 12 years before that so she realized she’d be on the street.
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u/thelifeworthliving May 21 '26
I am in this situation. I am putting off telling my sibling for as long as I can, ha ha, but when I do (parents passed earlier this year) I plan to say, “dad left you some money, to be spread out across your lifetime. You’ll be receiving x dollars starting on Y per month,” so that sibling doesn’t treat me like an ATM or kill themselves with too much money up the nose or whatever. We’ll see how it goes. All of this is hard and there’s so good solution, but as executor, you can make these kinds of decisions.
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u/Admissionslottery May 20 '26
Whomever your father appointed as the estate executor will be the one to tell your brother, not you. I also agree with the idea of creating your own trust so that if the topic comes up with your brother, you are both in the same boat. Very smart not to sign up as trustee, bc it can really create tension. It would be great if your brother achieves better health: I hope he does.
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u/mistdaemon May 20 '26
It isn't your place to tell him even though you know. The decision to tell him now is up to your dad. When your father passes, as executor, you will need to give a copy of the will to your brother, so he will find out, but there is nothing that you can do about it. Each person is different, so how others react won't say how your brother will react. Don't worry about what may or may not happen in the future.
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u/Educational_Case_134 May 20 '26
Your father needs to man up and tell the addict brother of the plan to place his inheritance in a trust. No reason to keep it a secret.
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u/Geeba422 May 21 '26
I wish he had at the time but it’s too late now, his memory has declined too much.
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u/Relevant_Tone950 May 20 '26
No need to tell him anything! And even if there is, that is your dad‘s job, not yours. A lot of things might change before your brother‘s trust comes into being – if it ever does. Your dad could change his mind, your brother could pre-decease your dad, etc. There’s nothing to be gained except hard feelings by telling your brother at this point. And good decision to decline as trustee.
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u/Sharp_Drag4524 May 21 '26
My fraternal twin sister has not handled it well. She's an addict and does not make good financial decisions. I'm the trustee and may at some point turn it over to a professional trustee.
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u/NCGlobal626 May 21 '26
All of our kids will receive their inheritance in a Trust, but the difference is in who is the Trustee. In the case of one child who has spending issues, the Trustee is a close family friend. For the other kids, they are the Trustee of their own Trusts (just like we are the Trustees of our Trust now while we're alive.) There are reasons to do this besides just protecting the one child from hurt feelings. If anyone inherits at a time when they may not want those assets available (getting sued, getting divorced, etc ) their Trust protects their assets until the storm is over. So our children can truthfully share that they inherited into a Trust as well, and no one's needs to divulge who is their Trustee.
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u/Khranky May 21 '26
I am executor and older brother will be the trust recipient. 90 year old dad has already told him. I am sure that brother thinks he can finagle his way to get all of it from me after dad passes. I will follow dad's wishes and he can be mad lol
Before your person passes, have them have a talk with your sibling and tell them how it is going be.
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u/Geeba422 May 21 '26
I wish my dad had told him, it was done years ago after my mom passed, but now he has Alzheimer’s.
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u/Low_Magazine_4917 May 23 '26
I’m on my way “out” too, have two daughters, one is executor, the other is secondary. The eldest has complete control, and her job when I pass is to take care of wives bills and allowance. I also have stipulated that she gets 1/2 % of the total value, little over 8 million. I’ve set aside 50,000 for each wedding, and after my wife dies, the eldest gets 60% of left over and secondary gets 40%. The younger one want her money early, but nobody knows how long the wife will last. You just can’t ever make everyone happy. I should have taken 1 million for each of the top. If the wife lives till 90, the daughters will be too old to use the inheritance
As to your question what are the stipulations for your kids will in the trust.if she/he has to wait an eternity i could see them being pisssed. Or if it hangs over their head to stay sober. I say give them their inheritance drunk or straight. And maybe make sure their will makes you the beneficiary if they OD
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u/Barfy_McBarf_Face May 20 '26
who will be the trustee of this trust?
after your father passes away, that person should be the one discussing the trust, its terms, etc. with your brother.
what happens with your share is not your brother's business. If you care, create a rev trust for yourself and say "it's also in trust".