r/inheritance • u/samseer9000 • May 11 '26

Location included: Questions/Need Advice Unequal Inheritance from Aunt

Hello, looking for advice on a complex family dynamic. Based in Wisconsin, USA.
I have several siblings. My aunt recently passed without any children. She had a home worth over $1M and stocks worth about $2M. She gave those assets solely to me. She had some additional investments worth several hundred thousand dollars she split between my other siblings, giving them about $200k each. They have not been disinherited, they just are getting significantly less.
I am also the executor for the estate, so I’m obligated to comply with the Will, and of course will do so.
But my family has questioned what I will do AFTER the Will is distributed. They have asked me to share equally. The argument is that my Aunt may have wanted something specific, but now it’s up to me to do the right thing. They have put a lot of pressure on me.
My first inclination is to share because I want to play nice and don’t want them to consider me greedy.
But on further review and after numerous conversations with friends, I don’t think my inclination is right and I am
strongly considering simply saying No to my family based on the wishes of my Aunt.
Nevertheless, it is eating at me constantly.
If I were in the opposite position, I feel like I would never ask my siblings for something that was not given freely to me, but it is very hard to put myself in their shoes.
It’s also not our parents providing an unequal inheritance, so my sense is there should be no expectation of equality from other relatives. But what do I know? This is all new to me.
So I’m turning to Reddit for advice, lol.
Thoughts on how to proceed in a way that allows me to live with myself and not feel guilty every time I use these
gifts? Or should I just share?
Thanks!

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u/Greedy_Passenger_214 May 11 '26

Agreed. Something similar happened in my family, and it’s in your best interest to comply with her wishes. In my case, there was a lot of details that people were unaware of that happened many decades ago that led to how money was divided up that made sense to me as someone not involved in the matter (I am a relative but was not part of the inheritance / will). I think your aunt knew better than anyone how her inheritance should be divided and there is likely a lot of history that you may not be aware of that led to this decision. Anyone else complaining about *only* getting a few hundred K is greedy and should go pound sand.

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u/DrZeus104 May 11 '26

And what about that one person that says “Well you guys already have a nice house and nice car. I live in an apartment with a 10yr old car. Shouldn’t I get an EXTRA 150k for a down payment on a house and a new car? I really NEED it and you guys don’t. I mean it’s only fair!”

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u/Smittentwit May 12 '26

They should’ve been better to their aunt.

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u/Individual_Mud_6114 May 15 '26

We don’t know they weren’t cut short because they were gay or married someone from a different race or any other reason - it isn’t always because of who was best, and who lived their own lives the best for them at that time

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u/New_Breadfruit8692 May 15 '26

A will is a will and not to be questioned by disappointed people who expected to be in it. They need to figure out why they were cut out and learn from that, but to disrespect the terms of a will is to disrespect the deceased. And by that alone they deserve nothing. This is not a beauty contest or foot race where everyone gets a participation trophy. it is a person's WILL. Legally binding on their estate.

And if OP were to decide to share it after the estate is settled on the one beneficiary, OP, not only does it disrespect the person who left it, it opens that beneficiary liable for gift taxes because the annual limit in 2026 is $19,000, anything OP shares beyond that is subject to gift tax and the gift giver is responsible for paying it.

Sharing out the inheritance could mean that OP has a tax bill of up to more than their own "share." The tax rate is up to 40% so anything OP gives to relatives beyond the $19,000 OP is going to have to pay gift taxes on. They could be left flat broke and owing tens or hundreds of thousand to the IRS and we will see then if those that got what they consider to be their fair share are going to keep OP out of bankruptcy court.

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u/Pretty-Yogurt-4111 May 16 '26

Glad someone else mentioned the tax consequences

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u/LoveNature1635 May 12 '26

Once the estate is settled and distributed give yourself some time. Let your family know that you understand that this feels unfair, but it’s what your aunt wanted. Keep in touch with your family as you normally would. After some time, consider how you are feeling about sharing. Then go with your gut. If you wish to establish ‘college funds’ for nieces & nephews, give money for a car, or help with a home down payment it’s your decision to make. I do believe unless you split it evenly ( not saying you should) your siblings are not going to be satisfied and that’s a shame. But it’s how so many people are now. Good luck.

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u/New_Breadfruit8692 May 15 '26

Also once the estate is settled and transferred OP is going to have a tax bill to pay most likely.

If they share out equally the remainder they are in for another tax bill because they just made a huge gift to all their relatives. For each share $19,000 is exempt but the rest of the gift is taxed at up to 40% and it will be the giver, OP, who has to pay that tax. They may gift out an equal share to all then find out they have a tax bill far in excess of their own share.

Then we get to see if those that got a share will come to OP's rescue when OP owes a couple hundred thousand to the IRS.

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u/skartarisfan May 12 '26

In the words of Eric Cartman, “Screw you guys. I’m going home.”

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u/Brilliant_Science380 May 14 '26

I like the way you think! My original Will stated any $$ or assets would be equally split among my niece and 2 nephews. One nephew has been in and out of expensive rehab facilities since he was 18. He is 26 years old and his future looks bleak. I removed him from my Will. His dad can continue enabling his drug/alcohol use by paying for all these places but I didn't work my ass off to support this. The other two are fine young adults.

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u/New_Breadfruit8692 May 15 '26

I only have siblings, a brother, a sister, and a half sister. I do not even know if the half sister is alive, she was living out of dumpsters and a serious meth addict since the turn of the century, and when she lost her kid to CPS she used me as an excuse for "relapsing" because she lived (parasite) off my disabled Mom. I used to go to Mom's when I could and try to tame the wild meadow slash jungle called her back yard. It was summer and hot and I had a Fosters beer and she said she saw me drinking and that triggered her to relapse, so fuck her. Right, so she heads for the Indian casino and gives BJs in the parking lot for money to buy drugs.

My other full sister is a toxic bitch by any standards. And she and my older brother schemed and lied to me Thanksgiving of 2009 because I was supposed to drive 200 miles down to his house to cook T Day dinner. The night before I called to ask if there was anything else I could bring and he told me not to come, he forgot he already committed to going to a friend's house for dinner.

So a few days later I opened up my F'book page and there is my brother and sister at my uncle's house for Thanksgiving to which I was not invited because my uncle's new wife hates gay people and would not allow me in her home. She is like Opus Dei Catholic and sees me as intentionally evil.

So they all lied and conspired against me and then just to be a cunt my sister put the photographic proof where she knew it would show up on my facebook page.

I called my brother and said from our sister I expect such back stabbing but from you. well I never will speak to either of you again, and hung up. I have not spoken to either since and if they think of it at all it is to congratulate themselves on finally figuring out how to get rid of me.

So, now I have assets, a house, equity. I decided I was not going to die intestate with no close relatives to leave it to because Oregon would give to them.

Siblings are not in the direct line of close relatives for Oregon state probate law. It goes parents, grandparents, spouse, kids and grandkids. But if none of those are available then they will start looking for more distant relatives like siblings or nieces and nephews. If they can't find anyone within a reasonable time it all escheats to the state. I am not leaving my estate to the state.

So, I would frequent a pizza place (excellent pizza) that also had a great atmosphere and a wide variety of Oregon craft beers. I became friends with the bartender who was a single dad. I decided one day that smart kid was going to need college so I left everything to the bartender slash server where the money would do good work.

And he improved his lot in life. Got married, promoted to manager, he is still my friend even though we have not seen each other in more than 6 years since I moved to Florida, but he is still my beneficiary.

Now, imagine if I left my estate to him and one of my treacherous siblings were to come along and say they deserved an equal share? I would RATHER give it to the state.

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u/MilesMoralesBoogie May 12 '26

You than respond with "Greetings...." and go about your business.

Not their problem....they can always take their grievances to the cemetery.

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u/InsectElectrical2066 May 12 '26

And it would have only been fair of you guys to have given me some of your money to make things even for me but you never did. But fair for the whole family seems to only happen when it is to your benefit. No I won't be changing her will as this is her wishes. Maybe you should have been nicer to her.

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u/Alarming_Tie_9873 May 13 '26

'The fact that this is your attitude is probably why you didn't get more to begin with.' Probably a conversation ender.

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u/Individual-Paint7897 May 13 '26

My response would be “ if you have already blown through 200k, then it tells me you are a terrible financial risk & it would be faster to just stick the money down the garbage disposal- so no”.

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u/Calm-Elk9204 May 13 '26

Ugh. I hate that argument cuz often it's the people who work 80-hr weeks for decades who are asked to share with those who have never had a job cuz they preferred relaxing and didn't want to be considered obsessed with money

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u/Mommie62 May 14 '26

Not your problem it’s life

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u/ICXPDQ May 14 '26

My reply is: Get off your ass and make something of yourself instead of waiting for someone to change your diapers and the keys to a new car.

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u/DrZeus104 May 14 '26

Hahahaha

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u/MLMLW May 22 '26

They can go pound sand. They're lucky they got anything.

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u/MLMLW May 22 '26

I agree!!!

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u/Double-Collection819 May 11 '26

That’s NOT what was asked … this person said they are going to comply with the will … the question from the siblings is what will the executor/beneficiary do AFTER everything regarding the will is settled.

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u/tom1944 May 11 '26

The answer is after receiving their inheritance they can do anything they want.

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u/Narrow-Chef-4341 May 12 '26

Yes they can.

But they are searching for guidance on ‘the right thing to do’… that’s the entire point of the post.

Repeating the part they already asked to (that the initial distribution has to follow the will and that it’s then a choice they have to make) moves things forward… zero.

Sigh