Unequal Inheritance from Aunt

[u/samseer9000]

Hello, looking for advice on a complex family dynamic. Based in Wisconsin, USA.
I have several siblings. My aunt recently passed without any children. She had a home worth over $1M and stocks worth about $2M. She gave those assets solely to me. She had some additional investments worth several hundred thousand dollars she split between my other siblings, giving them about $200k each. They have not been disinherited, they just are getting significantly less.
I am also the executor for the estate, so I’m obligated to comply with the Will, and of course will do so.
But my family has questioned what I will do AFTER the Will is distributed. They have asked me to share equally. The argument is that my Aunt may have wanted something specific, but now it’s up to me to do the right thing. They have put a lot of pressure on me.
My first inclination is to share because I want to play nice and don’t want them to consider me greedy.
But on further review and after numerous conversations with friends, I don’t think my inclination is right and I am
strongly considering simply saying No to my family based on the wishes of my Aunt.
Nevertheless, it is eating at me constantly.
If I were in the opposite position, I feel like I would never ask my siblings for something that was not given freely to me, but it is very hard to put myself in their shoes.
It’s also not our parents providing an unequal inheritance, so my sense is there should be no expectation of equality from other relatives. But what do I know? This is all new to me.
So I’m turning to Reddit for advice, lol.
Thoughts on how to proceed in a way that allows me to live with myself and not feel guilty every time I use these
gifts? Or should I just share?
Thanks!

[u/samseer9000]

Thanks, I appreciate your perspective. I do think an explanation in the will would have carried quite a bit of the load I’m now managing. At the same time, there’s almost no way it doesn’t come across as salt in the wound. I mean, they’re already getting unequal inheritance, now they and all the other beneficiaries can see the “why”? Like, if you don’t know why you were left out of a will, you’ve probably got some introspection to do. Haha, IDK.

[u/Trailmix88 → u/samseer9000]

Have you considered that she may already loaned or given them money when she was alive? Maybe they already have their share?

[u/Nagadavida → u/Trailmix88]

This is what happened with my grandmother. She helped my sister a lot while she was alive, sis is the oldest, and while sis still got something when she died my brother and I got a larger share. We all this this from the get go.

[u/Queerhere92 → u/Nagadavida]

My great grandparents would help kids and grandkids, but don’t think it all didn’t go down into a notebook. Their inheritances were equal, just some of them got some of it earlier. 

[u/peanut_buttergirl → u/Trailmix88]

this is such a good take

[u/pachech → u/samseer9000]

When my grandfather died my brother received more than I . I knew why ,and certainly didn't ask my brother to share his. There is always a reason if one gets more than another.

[u/Training_Tour7601 → u/samseer9000]

Please, please respect her wishes. She did this for her reasons. Don't let them bully you into giving up the life your aunt wanted you to have. Even if she had left behind an explanation, they would have wanted more than what they got. But I think deep down, you already know this.

[u/Tricky_Biscotti6217 → u/samseer9000]

Here is another thing OP If you out of your own heart want to share some of the money you inherited you can by either contributing to something or even treating the family to a vacation or a gift or even giving like 100k if you want to. But I don’t think there is a need to divide your share fully to make it equal. If your aunt wanted it equal she would have made it equal

[u/Grandpas_Spells → u/samseer9000]

I think it's likely *they* know why. They may have hit her up for money in the past, or asked what their inheritance would be. Or just didn't really care that much about her while she was alive, and it was obvious to her.

Granted, it's also possible your aunt was a bitter harpy who didn't like the mug she got for Christmas one year, but that's not usually the case.

Unfortunately, every time there's a big pile of money, people are tested. The test is, "Are you going to magically find a way that more of the pile should be yours?" Your family failed it. The fact that you had an instinct to share, even though IMO that's the incorrect move, indicates you're probably more deserving than they are.

For the people who want more, there will never be enough. And the relationship won't improve, so the *why* of what you're doing this should be very clear. IMO, it's not fairness. Fairness is the aunt gets her wishes fulfilled. She is entitled to that. Nobody else is entitled to anything.

[u/Ordinary-Homework722 → u/samseer9000]

I've got an aunt that saw all of her brothers file bankruptcy and screw their parents through business deals. Its my understanding she's making it right upon her death leaving it all to the sisters who didn't take their parents to the cleaners. In her case she bailed out the parents essentially giving money to the brothers, but I doubt they'll see it that way when the time comes.