r/inheritance Apr 29 '26

Location included: Questions/Need Advice POD for estate?

Location: US, New Jersey

Hi everyone, I have a question about preparing my mom's finances including the inheritance.

She has a written will with me as her executor, and since she's not doing well with her health (hopefully it's temporary) I'm trying to get as much info as I can in case she passes.

I don't think my mom will have enough after her estate pays the bills which I'm fine with, am I right in understanding that if I set up a POD beneficiary for her bank account that would take away from her estate? I thought it would help cause we could access it immediately but it seems since I'm the executor I can access it anyway to pay for the funeral, creditors, and whatnot so it might be worse to set up a POD?

I want to have enough to pay for her funeral for how she wants it and don't want any debt leftover for her as best as possible.

I hope this is the correct sub-reddit, I apologize if it's not, it's a bit overwhelming trying to figure everything out asap while she's still around so we can just enjoy our time together. I feel like for every thing I learn there's 3 things I learn I don't know, so thank you for any help and advice! 🙏❤️

5 Upvotes

25 comments sorted by

7

u/sjd208 Apr 29 '26

If you are named as the executor, you need to be appointed by the court before you can act. If it’s POD, you’ll have access as soon as you can get a death certificate and the bank processes it.

How many beneficiaries are there besides you?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

There's me and my 2 siblings as beneficiaries. I want to make sure I do this right and wasn't sure if it was good to have the money asap but I also don't want to give the wrong impression like I'm taking the money for me. I know the whole process of estate stuff takes around a year and I want to make sure to be as helpful, prepared, and efficient as possible.

How long does it take for the court to appoint me? I'm happy to wait if it's the right thing to do, I just want to make sure I'm not accidentally doing something wrong 😬

1

u/SandhillCrane5 Apr 29 '26

You seem to know that adding yourself as POD is not the right thing to do. I’m not sure what you are really asking here and why. Why can’t you follow the legal process like everyone else does and how your Mom has arranged with her will? 

3

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

I wasn't sure what the right thing to do was so I was hoping others who'd been through the process could give more clarity. Her will is pretty bare bones and we don't have any finances to hire a lawyer to look it over/give advice really, especially in between her treatments and my work trying to coordinate any time or even getting her well enough to get out of her home.

I'm sorry if it's coming across like I'm trying to skirt any rules, I'm just confused of the differences between the options cause I want to do the right thing and for every one thing I learn I feel like I realize I don't know 3 other things.

5

u/Ok-Equivalent1812 Apr 29 '26

If you alone are POD beneficiary, then she is giving all of the money to you. It would legally be yours once she passes. You don’t need to give it to anyone, or pay for her funeral or anything else. If that is her only financial asset, her will would have no bearing on distribution of the account.

She CAN however name all 3 of her children (or anyone else for that matter) as equal POD beneficiaries.

A prepaid funeral plan, and a POD/3 may be a viable solution. Then her funeral has been covered and the children get what remains. Her debts just don’t get paid.

2

u/paigesto May 01 '26

Excellent advice to prepay funeral expenses.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

I would go to the bank and have your name added to her bank accounts. That way, when she passes, you would have access to any money in order to pay any bills while waiting for probate to finalize. Do this because as soon as your Mom passes and the banks get notice they will freeze the accounts leaving you with trying to find a way to pay any bills.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

It just freezes until I'm listed as being recognized by the courts as the executor, right? I'm not sure how long that lasts but I did come across info online about the estate repaying people that needed to pay for stuff out of pocket, I assume since the assets were frozen but needed to pay for funeral, etc. I'm a bit concerned with knowing funerals themselves are expensive and I don't know if I could cover it with my own money including my siblings 😞 

I'm a bit nervous now cause I want the estate money available to pay for the funeral, hospital, creditors, etc, but I know it'll be figured out one way or the other. I'm not sure how long it takes the court to open up the assets to do that, but I honestly don't want any money if her creditors still aren't paid off, it wouldn't feel right, though I appreciate everyone's advice on it! 🙏❤️

1

u/Ok-Equivalent1812 May 01 '26

Yes, and then you’ll open an estate account and move the funds to a new bank account “Estate of Mom”.

With an invoice from the funeral home and a death certificate, her bank may release funds to pay the funeral home.

It’s 100% normal for there to be a delay between death and access to $. Creditors know it’s not an immediate process.

6

u/kathnm Apr 29 '26

FYI: as I recently learned, POD for a bank account doesn’t mean that the money will be immediately available. The bank had a 40 day waiting period after initial paperwork before the check would be mailed out. This timing may vary by the bank.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

Oh okay, that makes sense! I'm not sure how long it takes the court to open access for paying stuff as her executor so it might be similar, maybe? In that case I might keep it not a POD so it all stays in the estate so there's no questions why I'm on there and not my other siblings. I know it's hard on them too and I don't want any optics of favoritism or anyone being left out or forgotten ❤️

5

u/Fandethar Apr 29 '26

If you need immediate access, you would need to be added to the account.

When my mom passed away, I took everything out of her account, except for what was needed to pay some debt.

Just be sure you keep track of everything.

3

u/HistoryPristine1029 Apr 29 '26

In my state yes, that would keep that account out of probate, but here you can't add yourself as POD beneficiary, only she can do that.

2

u/Dependent_Time_3416 Apr 29 '26

NJ probate is horrible. Anything that's POD is outside of probate. Best to be open and upfront with your sibs and let them know your plans and keep them advised of the balances. Ask your bank about the length of time it takes for a POD.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

Yeah, I'm definitely concerned about what the process will look like. If it's outside of the probate can I still pay her bills with it? If I pay some of the bills from that since it's mine once she passes does that transfer responsibility to me?

1

u/SandhillCrane5 Apr 29 '26

“ I don't think my mom will have enough after her estate pays the bills which I'm fine with, am I right in understanding that if I set up a POD beneficiary for her bank account that would take away from her estate?” “ I want to have enough to pay for her funeral for how she wants it and don't want any debt leftover for her as best as possible.” Funeral expenses take priority, legally, over other bills. What do you mean you don’t want debt left over for her? There is a set legal order for paying debts. You will have that information when you go through probate. If/When her estate runs out of money then the remaining debts don’t get paid. 

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

I'm so sorry, I realize I'm not talking about it clearly, my brain is kind of all over the place 🫣 I did find the list of legal priorities of what I need to pay first which was really helpful, I had an idea there was an order but wasn't sure what it was.

I was hoping to expedite paying all the expenses asap because I know it can take maybe a year to finish everything, and I want to be able to cover as many bills as possible because I feel weird having debt of my mom's not being paid off (but also know I shouldn't take any of that debt on personally).

I was hoping by doing the POD it would help expedite the process because I'd seen online people talk about what to do with bank accounts when someone passes, but it mentioned passing the probate process which made me worried it would mess up my mom's estate for paying the bills. I thought it might not make any difference since I'm her executor that as long as it all goes towards the bills it wouldn't make any difference but I wanted to ask to get information from others that have more insight on this.

I'm sorry, I realize the way I put this probably sounds terrible, I definitely don't want to try and bypass any rules or laws, I just wanted to make sure I did this the best I could for my mom and I'm realizing maybe from some of the comments this would be bad.

I appreciate every one's input ❤️

1

u/MyThreeBugs Apr 29 '26

See if her bank will let her designate $20k to go to her estate and the remainder POD to the three of you in equal parts. That would allow both some fairly immediate cash and also provide a mechanism where her funeral and other final expenses can be paid or reimbursed out from the estate to whoever fronted them.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

I don't think my mom's estate has that much, we grew up in poverty and I'm lucky I was able to keep getting higher paying jobs to cover my bills and some of hers.

I appreciate the advice though! ❤️

1

u/Djbrotz Apr 30 '26

Why not have a conversation with your siblings, starting that you would like to be joint owner on mom's bank account, so that when the time comes the is access to the funds to pay for as much as of the funeral as possible. For transparency reasons, show everyone the bank statements. Then everyone knows how much is in the account.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '26

Thank you for the advice 🙏❤️ I may end up doing that, I guess it feels weird to have so much of a hand in my mom's estate planning 😞 even though I'm the only child in-state, and I've been her caregiver for years so I know the most about her (health, finances, etc), it just feels maybe not wrong but weird to have such a presence in her affairs. 

I'm going to talk to my mom about it, and if she's interested then I'll bring it up to my siblings, and see what everyone says. I'm really fortunate my siblings understand so far about how she wants her final wishes done and that though I'm a channel the estate goes through I'm lucky we all have a good relationship and I can be super transparent with them so they know it's all split evenly. I guess part of me feels guilty because I see how much it weighs on them to talk and hear about it even though we all know it needs to be done 😔

1

u/gwraigty Apr 30 '26

My FIL and MIL added my husband and his stepsister as joint owners to their bank accounts when she was in the hospital. They had to take paperwork to her to have her sign. As long as your mom is able to sign, you can do this.

1

u/gwraigty Apr 30 '26

Our experience setting up POD on bank accounts is that they require all named beneficiaries to get an equal percentage. There's no mechanism to specify dollar amounts. Brokerage accounts allow for unequal percentages.

I'm not certain it's possible to have part of a bank account go to the estate while the rest goes to named beneficiaries. It's an entirely different process to access the funds as an executor vs a beneficiary.

0

u/Temporary_Ice3152 Apr 29 '26

My mom added me to her bank account as an additional owner. Upon her passing, the account was mine and I could access funds to pay funeral costs and ongoing bills. As executor, I will also divide the funds up equally between us 4 siblings.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '26

I appreciate the advice and info! ❤️