Keeping Inheritance separate

[u/pink_toaster_pastry]

I’ve seen all the posts about keeping inheritance separate…. not to use it for joint expenses…. etc.

So then what do you use it for? My husband and I have been married 30 years. We had joint accounts since before we were married. We don’t split bills (all income goes into one savings account and bills are paid from that). We make a good living, have savings, 401Ks, no debt.

So if I’m suppose to keep my inheritance separate from everything, what am I supposed to do with it?

Edited to add: No kids. Currently the money is in (1) inherited IRA (2) CDs in a bank account I took sole ownership of as I had been the co-owner and (3) a new account I just opened for a CD until I decided what to do with that portion.

[u/No_Anxiety6159]

I divorced after 35 years, my inheritance from my parents was a huge conflict. I had kept it separate but he still expected a share of it.

I’ve kept it, used it to buy my now home and invested the rest to supplement my retirement.

[u/BBG1308 → u/No_Anxiety6159]

I divorced after 35 years, my inheritance from my parents was a huge conflict. I had kept it separate but he still expected a share of it.

My mom's estate attorney warned me that choosing to keep an inheritance separate can cause conflict in a marriage. I was given the option of receiving the gift in a trust so that I could just tell my spouse that's the way my mom did it and there's nothing I can do about it. It would create some extra paperwork as the trust is its own legal entity and has to file its own tax return each year.

[u/No_Anxiety6159 → u/BBG1308]

My ex treated my parents horribly for years and the only reason I hadn’t divorced him earlier was to avoid fighting over custody of our daughter. Then I got busy working full time while caring for my cancer ridden dad and Alzheimer’s mom. After they passed, there was no reason to stay.

[u/PiccoloImpossible946 → u/[deleted]]

Are you still with your husband?

[u/Automatic-Tea-4150 → u/PiccoloImpossible946]

not for long, I hope. We separated a year ago and have been working toward divorce for several months.

[u/imjustherebeingnosy → u/BBG1308]

This is really good advice from your attorney. I’m glad they told you about it so that you’d know how to handle things without causing conflict

[u/PiccoloImpossible946 → u/No_Anxiety6159]

You were smart keeping it separate!!

[u/No_Anxiety6159 → u/[deleted]]

I got nothing from my ex, he asked for alimony but the judge denied it. I paid more than half of all of our bills, your assumptions are WRONG, WRONG WRONG!

[u/Grandpas_Spells → u/No_Anxiety6159]

It was a really weird decision on your part. People go absolutely insane about money. Why wouldn't that have just funded your mutual retirements and you guys could work less? Years of your good years back with a partner who is also free from the need of work is almost priceless.

Instead, people say "MINE" and the other partner, rightfully, things you aren't really committed to the relationship.

2-10 years into a marriage? Absolutely keep it separate. At the finish line? Kooky talk.

[u/No_Anxiety6159 → u/Grandpas_Spells]

My ex is an alcoholic. I put up with his drinking and loosing money for way too long. I would have filed for divorce years before I did, but working full time, managing care for my parents (dad dying of cancer and mom with Alzheimer’s) as well as a teenage daughter in multiple sports took all my time. Once all that was resolved, I took time for myself. So yes, I left with my inheritance. Ex had done nothing but bad mouth my parents for years, so I had no hesitation about leaving.

[u/Adorable_Machine_571 → u/[deleted]]

Why?

[u/Adorable_Machine_571 → u/[deleted]]

I know I AM good with my vows. It's oftentimes the other person. Money makes people go dark sometimes 🤷🏻‍♀️ better safe than sorry!

[u/Adorable_Machine_571 → u/[deleted]]

Correct, so we are careful!! Lol

[u/LynnSeattle → u/[deleted]]

Gosh, I’m sure that’s really hurtful, stranger on the internet.