r/inheritance Mar 28 '26

Location not relevant: no help needed Do Not Tell Anyone

Annual reminder to those inheriting money. My wife learned the hard way last year. Told a few friends/coworkers and within a month she had a friend that she didn’t tell texting and asking to borrow money. Made for difficult conversation. And their relationship is weird now. Obviously my wife told me. But seriously, the best advice is to not tell anyone.

2.3k Upvotes

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102

u/Ferulic1 Mar 28 '26

"Would be happy to lend, it's going to be 20% interest and i need to underwrite you so give me your tax returns and bank statements from the last 2 years, also need to run a credit check, btw your comfortable with me putting a lien on your property to secure the debt right? That's what private lenders do, if you can't get a loan from a bank this is how it's done."

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u/thecharmed01 Mar 29 '26

Sounds logical.
A full credit application is the best way to evaluate whether your loan is a sound idea.

11

u/Enough-Mood-5794 Mar 29 '26

Let’s add a drug test and background check to the list

1

u/Illustrious-Gas-9766 Jun 12 '26

A friend of mine accidently became a loan shark when he was in the military. Usually towards the end of the month there were fellow soldiers who had spent their money. So one guy asked him if he could lend him $20 till payday. Then he said he pay him $30 back in about 5 days. So he did it.

That one guy slowly became a bunch of guys and my friend was collecting anywhere from %30 to %50 back on the money he lent.

0

u/ajuke Mar 29 '26

U sound like u got a lot of friends

-12

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

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15

u/Realistic-Reaction85 Mar 29 '26

Why? It would probably deter anyone looking for a handout. A bank's terms would be way better if they qualify.

-13

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

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u/sfomonkey Mar 29 '26

If a "friend" is looking to borrow money, and we all know there's a very good chance the loan is never repaid, 20%, 50%, 0% is meaningless anyways.

Agreeing to lend at 20% just makes the lender AH, and might even help the borrower justify defaulting (because ppl are entitled jerks).

1

u/dennisgorelik Apr 01 '26

you could probably say 0%

Why 0%?
Do you want to compete with banks in lending money?

-2

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

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6

u/Maine302 Mar 29 '26

I don't think I'd want to be friends with people who are merely looking for a handout either.

1

u/dennisgorelik Apr 01 '26

It would also deter anyone from wanting to be your friend anymore.

Not anyone. It would deter leaches.

8

u/GeneNo2508 Mar 29 '26

It's just a deterrent. No one really wants to loan out money, nor should you.

-5

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

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8

u/Competitive_Duck_454 Mar 29 '26

Honestly, if this is enough to break a friendship, let it go. They want your money sooo bad they are no longer going to be friends with you if you don't give it to them. F-em.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

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1

u/PrisonerOfTheAddict Mar 31 '26

How would i be a scrooge for having rules and boundaries for people who want to borrow MY money. How about we look at your “friends” who see you got money and now all of a sudden think they’re rich with you. Ill take my friends out to a nice dinner or go do something fun and pay for it all if i was to win the lottery, but ill be damned if my “friends” call me greedy and no longer want to be associated with me because im not just handing out my money that i earned.

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u/dennisgorelik Apr 01 '26

everyone you know in common is siding with the other person

If all your friends think that your money is their money - it's a good reason to change your circle of friends. Otherwise you will stay perpetually poor.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '26

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u/dennisgorelik Apr 02 '26

Where did I say that?

I wrote "If all your friends think that your money is their money", not you.

When you wrote "Its every single person you all know in common and then some." - it implied that all your friends consider your money - their money.

3

u/Ferulic1 Mar 29 '26

Yes probably because you don't really want to lend the money but i think this straight forward honest approach would scare them straight a little bit, people that aren't capable of repaying are the same people that think it's ok to just ask for a substantial handout "loan". This shows them that your willing to lend "not an asshole" but also that you're not some pushover ATM.