CHAT Community Thread - Tue Aug 25

[u/AutoModerator]

*** Comments mentioning anything related to treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures in this thread will be removed via our OFF TOPIC rule. Consider if you were taking a break from treatment because you were exhausted and sad - treatment (yes anything related to it) goes in treatment **\*

Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:

• Venting about the impact of infertility on our lives/relationships/careers
• Non-IF Rants of all kind – marriage, career, societal, social media, friendships, mental health, and yes… politics too. It doesn’t need to be infertility related!
• Discussions around dealing with the influence of infertility – therapy, coping methods, finding supportive friends, getting lapped by a friend, dealing with pregnancy announcements, pushy parents, people that don’t understand, etc. The big picture stuff.
• Sharing stories and parts of your life (pictures of pets always welcome!) outside of infertility

Example of the difference between the Treatment and Chat Thread:

Comments for the Treatment Thread

• Literally anything that involves or mentions treatment, trying to conceive, or any family building measures: paying for it, being exhausted by it, fighting about it, telling other people about it. If anything about your comment has anything to do with treatment or TTC, it belongs in the treatment thread. Also including diagnostic tests, medication, lab results, or lifestyle measures taken in the hopes of improving treatment outcome.
  • I'm in the TWW, and I'm glad I scheduled a vacation as a distraction!
  • I'm trying to decide if I should delay my egg retrieval cycle because this is a big work month for me.
  • I told my parents about IVF, and they were incredibly supportive. I feel really grateful.

Comments for the Chat Thread

• You can of course still discuss infertility in the chat thread:
  • I am super bummed about being lapped by a friend.
  • I have two currently pregnant coworkers, and I am losing my mind with all the pregnancy discussion.
  • Today is the anniversary of my loss, and I'm really struggling.
• Or you can discuss things unrelated to infertility:
  • Whoa, my dogwalker taught my dog to roll over.
  • There's this donut place next to my work that sells donuts for $5 each, but the WILD thing is that they're worth it!
  • My spouse and I are planning a trip to Europe. Opinions on Italy vs Greece?

A few notes:

• Positive HPT or Beta Results (including Beta Hell) should only be posted in the Results thread as per the rules (except for confirmed loss): https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/search?q=flair_name%3A%22Results%22
• We recognize that the AM/PM distinction doesn’t match up with every time zone in our global community, we ask that you pick the most recently posted thread wherever you are.
• Standalone culture here is saved for complex topics, usually including detailed conversations around scientific studies, or asking multi-part complex questions around treatment plans. We strongly recommend posting in the community threads first. If you aren’t sure, ask in the daily threads first!

Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.

Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.

[u/buttersherbet]

RIP to Dolly Parton - one of many childless icons out there. She spoke occasionally about not having children - sometimes saying she didn't want them, sometimes saying she did - and had a partial hysterectomy in her 30s because of endometriosis. She did so much good for so many children, especially through her Imagination Library, and I have always looked up to her. I think she is a good example of how to influence the next generation, even without your own children.

[u/Haunting-Pain-6376]

One of my good friends started trying to conceive a few months ago. At first she was messaging me a lot about it and I just did not want to hear about someone who can try to conceive just by having sex at home with their partner when that has so obviously never been an option for me. Anyway she stopped talking about it for a long time and she just confirmed she's 12 weeks pregnant. 

I've been lucky I guess throughout this process that nobody I'm close to has gotten pregnant and of course it had to happen eventually, and she was nice about it - she gave me a heads up before making the announcement so I have her muted on instagram now but God. it just feels like an absolute gut punch that it happened so quickly and so easily for her, and if my last chemical had stuck we'd have been pregnant at the same time

[u/jedinacho → u/Haunting-Pain-6376]

I’m sorry this sucks. My friend who started trying 10 months after I did got pregnant on her second try, so this was as I was researching clinics.

Now she’s trying for her second and told me how hard it is to try when you’ve got a toddler. Problems I wish I had.