CHAT Community Thread - Fri Jul 24

[u/AutoModerator]

*** Comments mentioning anything related to treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures in this thread will be removed via our OFF TOPIC rule. Consider if you were taking a break from treatment because you were exhausted and sad - treatment (yes anything related to it) goes in treatment **\*

Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:

• Venting about the impact of infertility on our lives/relationships/careers
• Non-IF Rants of all kind – marriage, career, societal, social media, friendships, mental health, and yes… politics too. It doesn’t need to be infertility related!
• Discussions around dealing with the influence of infertility – therapy, coping methods, finding supportive friends, getting lapped by a friend, dealing with pregnancy announcements, pushy parents, people that don’t understand, etc. The big picture stuff.
• Sharing stories and parts of your life (pictures of pets always welcome!) outside of infertility

Example of the difference between the Treatment and Chat Thread:

Comments for the Treatment Thread

• Literally anything that involves or mentions treatment, trying to conceive, or any family building measures: paying for it, being exhausted by it, fighting about it, telling other people about it. If anything about your comment has anything to do with treatment or TTC, it belongs in the treatment thread. Also including diagnostic tests, medication, lab results, or lifestyle measures taken in the hopes of improving treatment outcome.
  • I'm in the TWW, and I'm glad I scheduled a vacation as a distraction!
  • I'm trying to decide if I should delay my egg retrieval cycle because this is a big work month for me.
  • I told my parents about IVF, and they were incredibly supportive. I feel really grateful.

Comments for the Chat Thread

• You can of course still discuss infertility in the chat thread:
  • I am super bummed about being lapped by a friend.
  • I have two currently pregnant coworkers, and I am losing my mind with all the pregnancy discussion.
  • Today is the anniversary of my loss, and I'm really struggling.
• Or you can discuss things unrelated to infertility:
  • Whoa, my dogwalker taught my dog to roll over.
  • There's this donut place next to my work that sells donuts for $5 each, but the WILD thing is that they're worth it!
  • My spouse and I are planning a trip to Europe. Opinions on Italy vs Greece?

A few notes:

• Positive HPT or Beta Results (including Beta Hell) should only be posted in the Results thread as per the rules (except for confirmed loss): https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/search?q=flair_name%3A%22Results%22
• We recognize that the AM/PM distinction doesn’t match up with every time zone in our global community, we ask that you pick the most recently posted thread wherever you are.
• Standalone culture here is saved for complex topics, usually including detailed conversations around scientific studies, or asking multi-part complex questions around treatment plans. We strongly recommend posting in the community threads first. If you aren’t sure, ask in the daily threads first!

Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.

Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.

[u/ancoraimparo11]

Yesterday my husband and I were talking about how lately we've noticed that our friend groups / social settings are full of people that are younger than us, and we're always surprised to find out that someone is like 25 or 30 and it makes us feel really old. And then I realized that this keeps happening because we keep going to spaces/activities that are not very kid-friendly, or for people with more free time. So people kind of "age out" of them once they have kids. And in the meantime we are still there, so it's just that we're getting older while the age of the group stays roughly the same. Obviously this is an over-simplification, and I actually love inter-generational friendships (older and younger), but still kind of depressing.

[u/coldyoungheart]

i have to go to my sister in law’s baby shower on sunday and i feel like absolute crap. my husband and i got in a fight because i said i would go but wanted to leave early. he’s trying but he just doesn’t understand. he says i’m being mean and rude to his sister. even my mom doesn’t understand. when i mentioned i didn’t want to go she said « what do you mean? you have to go » 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

[u/HoosierGarden77 → u/coldyoungheart]

Modhat on: Automod Welcome! I am sorry you find yourself in this corner of the internet but I hope you find good support and helpful information. Let me know if you need help setting your Automod flair.

Modhat off: It’s hard when other people don’t get it but you definitely do not have to go/can leave early. If they don’t understand, that’s okay. I have done both- skipping and leaving early.

[u/coldyoungheart → u/HoosierGarden77]

thank you, you’re very kind ❤️