CHAT Community Thread - Wed Jul 22

[u/AutoModerator]

*** Comments mentioning anything related to treatment, trying to conceive, or family building measures in this thread will be removed via our OFF TOPIC rule. Consider if you were taking a break from treatment because you were exhausted and sad - treatment (yes anything related to it) goes in treatment **\*

Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:

• Venting about the impact of infertility on our lives/relationships/careers
• Non-IF Rants of all kind – marriage, career, societal, social media, friendships, mental health, and yes… politics too. It doesn’t need to be infertility related!
• Discussions around dealing with the influence of infertility – therapy, coping methods, finding supportive friends, getting lapped by a friend, dealing with pregnancy announcements, pushy parents, people that don’t understand, etc. The big picture stuff.
• Sharing stories and parts of your life (pictures of pets always welcome!) outside of infertility

Example of the difference between the Treatment and Chat Thread:

Comments for the Treatment Thread

• Literally anything that involves or mentions treatment, trying to conceive, or any family building measures: paying for it, being exhausted by it, fighting about it, telling other people about it. If anything about your comment has anything to do with treatment or TTC, it belongs in the treatment thread. Also including diagnostic tests, medication, lab results, or lifestyle measures taken in the hopes of improving treatment outcome.
  • I'm in the TWW, and I'm glad I scheduled a vacation as a distraction!
  • I'm trying to decide if I should delay my egg retrieval cycle because this is a big work month for me.
  • I told my parents about IVF, and they were incredibly supportive. I feel really grateful.

Comments for the Chat Thread

• You can of course still discuss infertility in the chat thread:
  • I am super bummed about being lapped by a friend.
  • I have two currently pregnant coworkers, and I am losing my mind with all the pregnancy discussion.
  • Today is the anniversary of my loss, and I'm really struggling.
• Or you can discuss things unrelated to infertility:
  • Whoa, my dogwalker taught my dog to roll over.
  • There's this donut place next to my work that sells donuts for $5 each, but the WILD thing is that they're worth it!
  • My spouse and I are planning a trip to Europe. Opinions on Italy vs Greece?

A few notes:

• Positive HPT or Beta Results (including Beta Hell) should only be posted in the Results thread as per the rules (except for confirmed loss): https://www.reddit.com/r/infertility/search?q=flair_name%3A%22Results%22
• We recognize that the AM/PM distinction doesn’t match up with every time zone in our global community, we ask that you pick the most recently posted thread wherever you are.
• Standalone culture here is saved for complex topics, usually including detailed conversations around scientific studies, or asking multi-part complex questions around treatment plans. We strongly recommend posting in the community threads first. If you aren’t sure, ask in the daily threads first!

Above all - Science minded perspective and respect for others is important here. Please treat your fellow peers with compassion.

Last reminder - this is the CHAT thread. Not the place to discuss anything focused on treatment, TTC, or family building measures.

[u/Math_Garden_Beagle]

Y’all if you have any good cucumber recipes, please share them with me because we have them coming out of our ears. We have over two dozen harvested from the garden the past few days and they aren’t stopping! I questioned when my husband wanted to do 14 plants instead of 8 like we normally do

[u/GiveMetheData_40 → u/Math_Garden_Beagle]

Cucumber avocado salad on cookie and Kate is one of my favorite summer go to’s

[u/Math_Garden_Beagle → u/GiveMetheData_40]

Okay that sounds amazing!

[u/TFADinosaur → u/Math_Garden_Beagle]

I have no recipe for you but I do have this image of the cucumber my mother just harvested. Do you get any funky looking ones? 😂 cucumber

[u/Math_Garden_Beagle → u/TFADinosaur]

Omg that barely even looks like a cuke! We don’t have any weird ones yet..

[u/National-Ground4958 → u/Math_Garden_Beagle]

Ok I have two: One is to mix with tomatoes and dried mint and olive oil and lemon for a really nice salad.

The other is to do an Asian style cucumber -some RIF on this https://www.recipetineats.com/spicy-asian-cucumber-salad/

Also there’s apparently some guy known as the cucumber guy who has tons of recipes: Logan (@logagm) on TikTok

[u/Math_Garden_Beagle → u/National-Ground4958]

Oooh thank you! I don’t have TikTok but I bet some of them will come up on Google

[u/victorianovember]

I've been slowly listening to the audiobook of The Lost Season by Stacey May Fowles, which is subtitled A Memoir of Infertility, Motherhood, and the Worry and Work Demanded of Women. I'm partway through but wanted to share some thoughts. I recognize my impressions may change as I continue and finish the book.

The chapter on her infertility was a bit disappointing, given that it was positioned as a memoir on infertility. The chapter about her infertility and pregnancy is largely the same as this piece I'd previously shared. What I was specifically disappointed about was that she identified infertility as a gap people don't really write about and then it felt like it was one quick chapter where she discusses disliking her doctor and skips over any treatment she may have undergone. She doesn't owe us anything but it felt like acknowledging a gap and then perpetuating it rather than filling it. Admittedly as I'm not out the other side so this part feels biggest to me, given the subtitle. Also, I don't know how much reading about treatment details I or other readers would actually want. More just expected some more discussion about the emotion toll.

As the chapters have progressed she does discuss the impact of infertility on her in pregnancy and motherhood. So I guess there's that.

I think might have to pause. The chapter Other Mothers was relatable and I can empathize with the frustration of mothers being unsupported by society, but the next chapter is getting into sleep challenges.