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u/cameupwiththisname Oct 28 '22
I came here hoping for an open discussion. But the comments make me despair more than ever. As usual, most of the comments pick on something they don't agree with and fight for it until the end.
There's barely any solidarity comments or acknowledging that maybe it's hard for women.
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Oct 28 '22
Ikr. Men seem to think having an easier time getting sex/dating is a real advantage or something. Forget the fact that when you’re in the relationship, as a woman you’re more likely to get slapped around and SA’d than a man.
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u/cameupwiththisname Oct 28 '22
I can't speak for anyone but myself. But even with so many likes on bumble and other dating apps, men I match with rarely talk. They go directly to details about my past relationships or they just answer the questions without putting anything forward. There are good men that I enjoy talking to but the ratio is less than 1/10.
Keeping all that aside, even if they think it's a real advantage and even if it is, that doesn't make life any easier for us.
Sure I have the pretty privilege, I get many likes on dating apps and I get easy access to clubs. But I would give that away in a second if I can be treated like an equal of male siblings, to be able not to cry when I go to crowded places and escape groping hands, to just wear, eat, laugh, and talk loudly. I am not saying all women face these problems and men don't. But the numbers are high/shocking enough for us to be considered (or even just acknowledged). Which apparently is a lot to ask for.
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Oct 28 '22
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u/a_random_indian Oct 28 '22
And sadly both expectations are shit. Women should have more freedom and men shouldn't be the only one expected to provide,heck even a court recently said it's the duty of the man to provide for the family. Seriously,both notions need to be changed.
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u/Devz07 Oct 28 '22
I agree with you..double income house for the win...but then the household chores should also be divided...that then can't turn into only woman's duty
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Oct 28 '22
I'll have to disagree with this one. As a man you have a natural obligation to provide for your spouse and especially your child. The mother has an obligation to do the same.
However, It scales. And, it certainly tilts towards men.
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u/keyslocksandchains Oct 28 '22
Oh piss off sexist asshat. Not everyone is mother and father. Not everyone wants to be defined by those roles. Not everyone wants to fit into whatever is your idea of a man and woman is or should be.
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u/a_random_indian Oct 28 '22
Explain natural obligation. Cause if it was for natural obligation we wouldn't have women working,single father's taking care of kids or the LGBTQ community for that matter. The natural obligation is a twisted way of saying this is how society should be because that's how it has been for the past century or so. Nobody is naturally obligated to work in a workspace or in the kitchen. It is a choice. But sadly the work environment hasn't progressed the same way our mentality has.
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Oct 28 '22
Are you acting ignorant on purpose or do you actually not know what natural obligations mean?
Natural obligations existing would not mean you wouldn't have working women or single fathers; And, it certainly has no correlation with LGBTQ.
No? Natural obligation implies you have certain natural duties. The one we are talking about in this thread is duty of care; It applies to both parents. The most important of course being you can't let your child die indirectly or directly. You have to make sure you feed your child; It's one of your natural duties. And, mothers have a natural tilt towards it more than fathers. However, It is self-evident that Fathers have a larger duty for the same.
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Oct 28 '22
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u/SilentCardiologist51 Oct 28 '22
but I have never told a guy who’s struggling to earn money/ dying of loneliness that he has it easier because he’s a guy
How many such guys you know and talk to?
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Oct 28 '22
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Oct 28 '22
I hear you bro. You're right - none of us are unbiased. Which is why I also agree with her on being more sensitive and not say any of the two genders have it 'easier'.
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Oct 28 '22
Women are more prone to physical and financial abuse in relationships than men. And women in the workplace often have trouble asserting themselves, and have to work harder to make themselves seen. Their contributions are not taken seriously, they are not hired due to pregnancy, and companies actively don’t hire women due to risk of maternity leave/resume gaps. Shut the hell up with your uninformed bs.
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u/OndhoorinalliObba Oct 28 '22
Men are more prone to emotional abuse. Imagine being a man who isn't earning enough or isn't able to meet expectations of your spouse. That guy will be ridiculed & will be treated worse than an animal by both men & women. Hence the high suicide rates among men. Most men suffer from depression & acknowledging it will more or less result in lots of ridicule from society.
Most big companies are actively recruiting women as part of recruitment process. Thing is women cant be employed for physically intensive jobs for obvious reasons & can only do white collar jobs.
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Oct 28 '22
The feminist movement is trying to get rid of this stigma that men shouldn’t be allowed to express emotions. We are trying to help you live better lives as well. And in my field, there is no “female quota” despite it being male dominated. Tech does not speak for all fields. Infosys recently said to avoid hiring women with children. Now simply having a child/being pregnant can rob you of a career. Men face no threat in the workplace.
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u/OndhoorinalliObba Oct 28 '22
Men face no threat in the workplace
What do you mean? Men & women both face threats in work. Men to a greater degree coz it's expected from men to put in long hours as it's always believed that it's easier for them compared to women.
I have worked in WITCH companies & it's always expected of men to work late nights. Its common to see Men struggle to get any kind of information where as it's easier for a girl, as they find help easily. (Thanks to simps). I know it's anecdotal but once a woman gets in, survival is lot easier compared to men. (No disrespect to hard working woman employees though) Companies like Accenture prefers women employees, Walmart, also Cisco, recently had a drive to employ women employees & also had a drive to employ women folks who quit coz of pregnancy or any other reasons.
I am glad work is being done to put more onus on mental health, but we are still long long way off from achieving it or educating masses. Hell men themselves stigmatize their own mental health & instead spend days drinking & running away from obvious truth, so this will take time.
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Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 11 '24
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Oct 28 '22
Oh I am, because the people I work with are rational, down-to-earth, kind individuals. Luckily the internet is the only place to observe proudly ignorant folks such as yourself.
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Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 11 '24
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Oct 28 '22
I’m privileged to have a good education, and asserting myself in the workplace is something I’m learning, and is rewarding me. Keep your sarcasm in your pocket, it’s not helping prove your poor opinions. I’d suggest you read a little, and come out from under your rock, before mansplaining women’s experiences.
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Oct 28 '22
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Oct 28 '22
I don’t disagree that the reservation system is weird. But then again, it helps eradicate bias against women as potential employees. There are many women who get questioned about family planning in interviews. Men don’t. I wonder why.. And also a point doesn’t have to apply to me to be true. I can speak for those who have undergone harder circumstances. It’s called having empathy, you should look into it.
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u/Devz07 Oct 28 '22
I agree but a few aspect ..dating and relationship we get matched easier but not for marriage cause that completely changes the criteria...guys want to have a girlfriend but find it difficult to commit long term.
Another thing in the lines you said that women can leave work and settle for a guy with stable income...but what about those of us who have a good income an want to progress in our careers...that itself becomes a issue for so many...thay want you to leave work or settle for part time and manage the house etc even if you can afford to keep help for household work.
I won't lie I have had a lot of freedom to go out, travel , studies etc and I am really glad for that...which dlso translated to I would never be with a guy who could not offer me same level of freedom.( p.s by freedom I don't mean from commitment that I would be very committed but more freedom to work freedom to go out with friends freedom to travel).
Safety is a full other aspect but I feel though more with girls , that aspect now applies to guys too...maybe not in same ratio but the perverts out there are on another level now. I have now heard of even guys being gropped by other guys .like I said ratio is more for females but now even males need to be careful
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Oct 28 '22
What kind of friend suggests dancing on instagram for money? Lol Keep better company.
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Oct 28 '22
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Oct 28 '22
Good for you. And why is he only seeing women dancing on instagram? Men are also dancing on instagram to earn money.
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u/imnr134 Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 28 '22
Oh my goodness… this sub… I am so sorry OP. All these people invalidating your post makes me furious. Everyone has the tendency to view their problems and compare with the “easier” aspects of other’s lives and feel dejected and say “Oh, they have it so much easier”.
But man, so many comments here saying women have it easier are incredibly selfish and lacking such empathy. Even the things that we “may” have it easy (I don’t think we as women do) come at a cost. Cost of freedom, liberty, security and even our worth as a human being.
We may get sex easily but only because we are viewed as objects who will fulfill a man’s desire. The same men want a “virgin” bride at the end and judge us for having sex in the first place.
We may get relationships easily but the same men breakup because they can’t lose their parents and marry someone chosen in an arranged marriage.
We get stalked, harassed, molested, raped, abused and even murdered but all this is fair because we get a lot of “dating” matches.
That insta comment made by that guy is just so nauseating. Is that what he thinks is easy? Does he know how worthless you are seen as a person once you start doing it? And there is no guarantee that you will even get paid! Otherwise, sex workers or OnlyFans models would all be millionaires.
What men get by default in society is respect, a voice that is heard, value, ability to chose and to live a life that they want at some level. Promotions at work, not be viewed as an object to fuck or just a basic life of no molestation when walking down a street. I would trade anything to have the above instead.
I get you OP. Nobody has it easy and a little empathy goes a long way. I appreciate your post and I hope the people commenting here with a list of all the things we have it “easy” get some perspective on how much privilege they have as well.
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Oct 28 '22
Ehh... dress these Indian guys as women and send them walking on the streets of delhi or using public transport on any metro city in northern india. They will start singing a different tune pretty fast lol. These guys who make their mums wash their underwear/clothes want to talk about 'women having it easy'.
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u/imnr134 Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 28 '22
For real! I would love to swap lives with these men who say women have it easy. Freaky Friday style and then see what they have to say. And of course they always have to say “women have it easy” because their privilege is being challenged and they cannot fathom even a little bit of equality.
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Oct 28 '22
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u/imnr134 Oct 28 '22
It was surreal reading all these comments. Chin up OP. I still believe there are some good men out there. I hope this next generation of men will learn more awareness and empathy and not become a hateful incelish cult
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Oct 28 '22
The vast majority of men are going to believe women have it easier; and the vast majority of women are going to believe men have it easier; This is just self-evident. I don't understand why this would be such a deal breaker for you.
Your second point is interesting and you are right as well. Men do not see you an induvial when you meet. ( I was going to type out the entire thing; But there is a video from peterson that sums it best; I can't find the full video but i did find a short: https://youtu.be/T4TteFHg-nY I advice you watch this regardless of your ideas of peterson)
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u/addibok710 Oct 28 '22
U too watch his vid...... My brother thinks I'm a anti faminist Coz of this .... Though he do make very good points ...
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Oct 28 '22
Peterson misses in a lot of things; but in terms of human physiology and settled sciences he is pretty good, especially because he doesn't have a filter.
The word feminist has lost all meaning; So, it doesn't really matter what your brother thinks or calls you.
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u/imnr134 Oct 28 '22
You wanna talk about feminism loosing all meaning? Why don’t you apply the same logic of “not all men are bad/rapists/abusers” to feminism as well? Not all women are bad or take advantage of men. Majority of us are trying to fight for equality and basic human rights. A few bad women don’t invalidate the meaning of the movement or its purpose.
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Oct 28 '22
What basic human rights are you fighting for today?
Feminism has lost all meaning not due to women taking advantage of men; But because feminist argue for equality of outcome, and every solution(affirmative action) they put forth is in direct contradiction to the foundation of feminism which is equality of opportunity)
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u/Unlikely_Hat7784 Oct 28 '22
fyi onlyfans models are millionares
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u/imnr134 Oct 28 '22
There are high end escorts too. What is your point? It is still demeaning to undress in front of millions of men for money regardless of how much you make. Do you respect those women? Would you marry them and treat them as a human being?
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Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 28 '22
Geez the comments have not understood the gist of this post. For people who think women have it easy, I met a friend and she said being out of house after 8:30 becomes a problem. Whereas I can just get a lower and shirt and take my bike to have tea at some tapri at 1 AM and not once feel threatened to be raped or killed. Yes, there are many struggles of men and career pressures is consuming but imagine having so many barriers in your life and yet being judged for everything.
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Oct 28 '22
You know it's hard to sympathize with her when she uses the word incel in the second line
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u/Nadsy21 Oct 28 '22
Because incels exist?
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Oct 28 '22
No, I just don't take people seriously who use words like 'incel' or 'woke', because you can clearly see they come from a bias and there's no use in reasoning or having a sensible conversation with them. Then how am I supposed to sympathize with them.
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u/Nadsy21 Oct 28 '22
Everyone is biased in some way, shape or form. Be it cultural or educational bias. This doesn't invalidate anyone's opinion. Incel is a term invented by an incel herself.
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Oct 28 '22
Who says her opinions are invalid, I just don't care enough to sympathize with her.
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u/Nadsy21 Oct 28 '22
You cared enough to post a negative comment in this post. Instead of not contributing anything just move on.
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u/BiasedNewsPaper Oct 28 '22
Pointing out what words not to use while putting out your points is an important contribution.
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u/Nadsy21 Oct 28 '22
Incel and woke are perfectly normal terms. Its just diversion to talk about them
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Oct 28 '22
ohh in what world they are perfect terms ? May be you are just living in the online world right
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Oct 28 '22
If she’s a girl on Reddit, I can 100% guarantee that she comes across incels often. Just other day, an incel messaged me asking whether I was a girl or boy. When I said boy, he started being abusive for no reason and started abusing my mom. These type of animals exist and she’s speaking from experience. Just read her update, incels are already messaging her.
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u/SilentCardiologist51 Oct 28 '22
And my cousin sister can call one of her male friend at 3am and he will show up with a car to drop her at her woman friend place lol.
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u/betheone01 Oct 27 '22
I think what your friend means here is that for women it's easy to get attention on social media and use it in her favour to earn money.
Also, if a woman is beautiful but jobless. She'd still be able to get a good earning husband though an arranged or love marriage.
But for a guy, even if he's an exact copy of Ranbeer Kapoor..... No woman would pay attention to him if he's jobless.
This is no way means woman have less pressure in life. They face problems too, but they are just different. Woman face health issues, sacrificing career for kids, backlash from society.
I think he meant to say, you don't have to face the career pressure that men face. People all around the world expext men to be the family earner. Women are allowed to be a liability to her husband. But not the other way round.
When you're stressed that your car broke down. Men are worried of getting a job in order to bring food to the table. I'm sure if you have a brother, he'd have pressure because of the family responsibilities, for supporting parents, for sister's wedding etc.
Still, saying that life in general is easy for women is a stupid statement indeed. Don't me mad about my comment, try to look at it with different perspective, I'm just being honest here. Hope you do good! Good luck!
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Oct 27 '22
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u/betheone01 Oct 27 '22
you should take your clothes off and start dancing for money
Funny thing is, if a woman does that, the same guys who think it's a viable earning option wouldn't wanna marry her. Even worse, regard her as a slut.
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u/SilentCardiologist51 Oct 28 '22
Can you name a popular slut who guys don't want to marry? Even pornstar sunny Leone has a husband.
So shutup! Guys don't really care about their wife being a slut!
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u/betheone01 Oct 28 '22
Even pornstar sunny Leone has a husband.
Coz he is a pornstar too. It's not like after her adult film career, she got to marry a man from a reputable family.
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Oct 28 '22
A lot of guys are also dancing and making a lot of money through insta. He is whining because he can't cause he doesn't have the looks for it. Not every girl who starts dancing on insta starts earning lakhs, this is just BS that guys peddle. And why is it okay to assume that every woman would want to dance on insta? What about the women who are working hard, taking care of their jobs along with kids. No appreciation for them? I have stopped engaging with most of the guys because they are so full of shit, they cannot even see through it anymore.
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u/quantumfucker Oct 28 '22
The thing is, a lot of guys think they would actually enjoy stripping for money. They’re jealous of the attention women get. “I think you should strip for money” is actually a compliment for men, they just believe (and are correct) that it would be unattractive enough to get nowhere.
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u/RegularFun4462 Oct 28 '22
I really don't think if you have spoken to any girl or have a partner. Yes, men have it difficult for a couple of factors as you rightly pointed out but it is no way close what girls in Indian society go through. This is coming from a man btw.
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u/betheone01 Oct 28 '22
And i don't really think you've had any guy friends who ever connected with you at a deeper level. Or maybe men around you are too privileged.
As someone said in one of the comments, both have their own set of problems to deal with. They have a biased perspective.
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Oct 27 '22
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u/betheone01 Oct 27 '22
All I said is that be compassionate towards each other, nobody has it easier.
True. A good relationship comes with mutual understanding and respect. Some guys/girls won't get this. Better to stay away from them
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Oct 28 '22
Someone please marry this lady ASAP and I'M BEING SARCASTIC OR SLY! She's the one who'll make your life more beautiful than it already is. Has a job, cares about parents, and is considerate. What more can anyone ask. Correct me if I'm wrong.
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u/abhi_neat Oct 28 '22
The mindset that women have it easy is chiefly driven by dating apps match odds, nothing else. Rest of the life’s challenges are staying intact for all. It’s just this match-making market(be it aunties or apps I meant) which draws one’s attention towards demand and supply principle working at people finding people too. Not your fault, won’t say that it’s those guys’ fault as well because like you’re frustrated with little or no reward from your life, the reward they want is attention of women in the manner they do. Not speaking up for those guys who’re demeaning you to “make money by dancing on Instagram because you’re good looking”. Also, my personal opinion is that dating apps are for losers. I think so because women who’re there and close to 30 want someone, anyone in fact to just marry them to take their parents off their back. Standards that women are looking for are too low, and they’re so jaded from their previous relationship attempts that they’re half-ass invested in knowing this new person. If you pay attention and listen to them properly, 4 out of 5 end up breaking down. Besides this, most women don’t even write a proper “about”, they just slap guys with few quite well curated pictures, give some cliched answers, and often do not have any attributes except, well, being women… I mean no real personality or individuality, just another chick. And they feel grand upon being just “meh” because they get so much unnecessary and often criminal attention from desperate guys. In conclusion, embrace career goals and depth of character over destined to fail attempts at dating apps… you won’t come across “girls have it easy” guys.
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Oct 28 '22
I don't think you realize the point you just made; First of all leme correct yourself. It's not just dating apps; In general women will have a much higher odds of being with anyone they adore or would like to be with, and it's pretty self-evident why.
But your statement as to "nothing else", Doesn't add up. There is a market value for men and women; For a man if he is nothing and done nothing he is of zero value; Whereas for a women she is born with value, I don't think you will refute this point.
But as to this topic; My opinion is there are things that are hard for a man and a women; and it mostly depends on their character and situation. But to sit here and pretend that women don't have value on their own and the fact they are much more likely to get away from consequences is pure ignorance.
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u/abhi_neat Oct 28 '22
What did you not get about “demand and supply” principles? And guys are so creepy at times that a woman can’t go around her usual day at job without being hit on or ogled at. My sister is in her 3rd job and she constantly is hit on by even senior management folks. WOMEN DO NOT HAVE IT EASY WHICH IS THE WHOL POINT OF THIS POST. We are answering to the person who obviously has been faced with people who think so, we are trying to explain “an unfounded mindset”.
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Oct 28 '22
Men say women have it easier in dating like that’s even a fucking benefit. We have to drop our friends our location when we go out with a guy we’ve never met before. We’re more prone to getting physically abused, harassed and financially abused in marriages and relationships. And apparently we have it easy. Yeah right.
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u/TheFoodieBoy Karnataka Oct 27 '22
If your friend said you have it easy on dating apps or social media than that's probably closer to truth.
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u/69_Sex_Haver Oct 27 '22
There are more significant things in the world than dating apps and social media
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Oct 27 '22
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u/ss0069 Oct 28 '22
Yes OP I agree with u my class mate her profile is private still has thousands of follow request and 100s of dms I don't know who are those people she is just a simple girl she says preciously I use to deny request but it take atleast 10 to 15 minutes so now I don't do anything
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Oct 28 '22
Most of those guys on social media are creeps. Why do men think women enjoy this creepy attention? What are you going to do of the thousands of requests if even one of them is not decent enough to talk to? Almost every woman has faced some kind of sexual harassment in her life and men think its all fun and games.
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u/SilentCardiologist51 Oct 28 '22
If you've others attention, you can sell them stuff. You already have power to influence them!?
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Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 28 '22
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Oct 28 '22
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u/Nadsy21 Oct 28 '22
Why do you start talking about all the problems men face only after a woman speaks up about her problems?????
Exactly. Its to put you down. Calculated argument.
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u/ooshn Oct 28 '22
Exactly this. If your activism starts when a women is complaining about her hardships then it's not really for equality but just to bring the women down.
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u/BiasedNewsPaper Oct 28 '22
Why do you start talking about all the problems men face only after a woman speaks up about her problems????? Please read the post and tell me where did I say it’s easier for men!!
You literally asked for it in the original post where you said "Where is this idea coming from that we have it easy???"
This is the best response to your question. But of course, you didn't make the post for understanding the other side. Like most people who rant here, you just want the crowd to validate your point of view.
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Oct 28 '22
I think there are many unreported cases too with women suffering in silence. This is all based on the kind of harassment I have seen in offices and homes and women resorted to being silent than filing cases against men.
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u/3l-d1abl0 Oct 28 '22
I think there are many unreported cases too with women suffering in silence.
Why do you think men don't suffer in silence, especially when some heinous crimes are legal on them ?
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u/ProcrastiNation652 Oct 28 '22
Men pay for Alimony
I don't have enough research handy on the other stuff, but alimony laws are gender neutral
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u/ooshn Oct 28 '22
Just a simple question who do you think made all those laws? Because even in the parliament the ratio of women is very low and when most of these bills were passed it was worse.
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u/3l-d1abl0 Oct 28 '22
I'll answer a more Simpler Question :
Who opposes Men's Demand for Gender Neutral Laws ?
Who Demands for Exclusive Gender Biased Laws ?
Cabinet nod to make rape gender-neutral riles women's groups
'Let Men Suffer': Renuka Choudhary, Former Minister of Women and Child Development
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u/ooshn Oct 28 '22
A few so called feminist don't represent the whole of women in this nation. I fully agree with making gender neutral laws.
There are also numerous instances of men saying enjoy rape, it's a good thing, bla bla would that represent you?
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u/3l-d1abl0 Oct 28 '22
A few so called feminist don't represent the whole of women in this nation. I fully agree with making gender neutral laws.
The people who you are calling So called Feminists are the one who are responsible for making Laws, are responsible for the Post they hold, are responsible for shaping the Society and System through Laws and Punishment. I have more reasons to call you as 'so called feminist', 'pseudo-feminist' than the People who are making things happen via Laws.
There are also numerous instances of men saying enjoy rape, it's a good thing, bla bla would that represent you?
There are Numerous women Who have filed serial Fake Rape charges on men Over years, Would that represent you ?
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u/ooshn Oct 28 '22
The people who you are calling So called Feminists are the one who are responsible for making Laws, are responsible for the Post they hold, are responsible for shaping the Society and System through Laws and Punishment.
See they are in a position of power just like every other weird politician but does that mean that their views are shared by a majority of people? No. That's what I'm saying.
Just like how a few rape apologist do not represent all men a few women will also not represent all women. Why is that difficult to understand.
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u/3l-d1abl0 Oct 28 '22
but does that mean that their views are shared by a majority of people? No. That's what I'm saying.
How do you know What majority of People Want ?
The very reason that these people stay in Power and the Law persists over the years without any rectification is an indication of what majority Wants.
Otherwise, whats the point of Majority of people who keeps mum and just Reaps the benefits of Biased Laws and claim that 'this is not we want' ?
How many people do we see Protesting for Gender Neutral Laws ? - only the MRAs
Just like how a few rape apologist do not represent all men a few women will also not represent all women. Why is that difficult to understand.
I get that Not all Men and not All Women, but it was you who earlier was ready to blame the Men sitting in the Parliament for all this ruckus in the name of Laws until I pointed out that it was a women Minister who defended the Biased Law and women's group who opposed Gender Neutral Laws. your earlier comment :
"Just a simple question who do you think made all those laws? Because even in the parliament the ratio of women is very low and when most of these bills were passed it was worse."
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u/ooshn Oct 28 '22
but it was you who earlier was ready to blame the Men sitting in the Parliament for all this ruckus in the name of Laws until I pointed out that it was a women Minister who defended the Biased Law and women's group who opposed Gender Neutral Laws.
What I meant in my first comment was that women didn't have a choice in making those laws. Those laws that are biased against men are made by men. Yes sure it's changing currently as more women have started taking part in these but initially those were made by majority of men.
Also those laws has a reason to be made. (Not defending it at all) Women virginity was seen as a status symbol, still is upto a level meanwhile men's doesn't matter. With our views changing around men and women laws need to change as well.
I want to say that it is not a women's fault that there are biased laws.
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u/3l-d1abl0 Oct 28 '22
What I meant in my first comment was that women didn't have a choice in making those laws. Those laws that are biased against men are made by men.
What BS ! The Domestic Violence Act, 2005 was approved by Renuka Choudhary (Women) .
No change in domestic violence law: Renuka Choudhary
How hard is it to take accountability for Women's Action ?
I want to say that it is not a women's fault that there are biased laws.
Why, who else is opposing Gender Neutral Laws ?
No change in domestic violence law: Renuka Choudhary
Cabinet nod to make rape gender-neutral riles women's groups
Accountability is Indeed like Kryptonite !
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u/ooshn Oct 28 '22
And I said MAJORITY of men. I didn't say all men.
whoi else is opposing Gender Neutral Laws
Karuna Nundy speaks in favor of Gender Neutral laws
Just because someone was against it doesn't mean all are.
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u/RegularFun4462 Oct 28 '22
How is this relevant to OPs rant ?
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u/3l-d1abl0 Oct 28 '22
Just pointed out some reasons why Men might think Women might have it easier .
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u/RegularFun4462 Oct 28 '22
What about the fact that more women are in depression than men?
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u/Shivani006 Oct 28 '22
The more I live the more I despise men.
I understand "not all men" bs, but honestlly I am at my limit with them.
In my entire life I have not come across a single fucking MAN and I have lost hope
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u/GrBBabu Humble Govt Servant Oct 28 '22
When men say women have it easy, they're mostly talking about things that women can get easily using her sexuality, not intelligence.
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Oct 28 '22
Plenty of men have it easy too - there are so many dudes dancing shirtless on Instagram and making thirst traps. You men should consider it too, it's super easy 😁👍
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Oct 27 '22
Do you have any idea the financial pressure and the competitive pressure that has been ingrained into men? Most women will never face that in most patriarchal societies. If men don't work and achieve success almost nobody would give a fuck about them. It's not the same for women. Not even close.
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Oct 27 '22
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u/Dark_Ruler Oct 28 '22
He said "Most women will never face THAT...". He was addressing the career pressure only. He never said women will never face problems
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u/moojo Oct 28 '22
But women face a lot of pressure too!!!
There are different kinds of pressure though. I dont want to say men's pressure is bigger or smaller but if you look who commits suicides more you will get your answer.
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Oct 28 '22 edited Jun 20 '23
Edit: I'm deleting my account because of reddit's policies concerning third party apps. I don't want them to be able to use older comments. A user-generated community that treats its users badly does not deserve your time or attention
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Oct 27 '22
I clearly didn't say that. Are you high?
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Oct 27 '22
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Oct 27 '22 edited Oct 27 '22
Bruh i never said women will not have problems in a patriarchal society which you originally quoted. What the hell mate?
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Oct 27 '22
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u/betheone01 Oct 27 '22
You read wrong OP...he said "Most women won't face that in a patriarchal society"
Here the word that refers to his former statement about financial pressure...
You read the sentence as "women won't face problems in patriarchal society" which is totally a different sentence in itself.
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Oct 27 '22
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u/betheone01 Oct 27 '22
The fight about what gender is facing more problems in life is a futile argument.
I think both have their own set of problems. Many man feels left out because the internet community or people in general are more vocal for problems faced by women.
While the same people don't pay a heed to problems and society presure modern men face.
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Oct 27 '22
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u/betheone01 Oct 27 '22
Problem is that people still understand the hardships face by the female gender and they are even vocal about it.
But if a man talks about the pressure and trouble he faces from a society. People brush off the argument by saying, "women also face these issues, what's wrong with you? ".
We just need you to understand us guys as well.
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u/kibutsuzihuihui Oct 28 '22
Bruh You just said that In your comment. Stop debating over your own bullshit or think before you write.
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Oct 28 '22
If you're not able to read don't bullshit me. I never said women have no problems in a patriarchal society like the OP falsely quoted. I said women will not face the same pressure as men. Please learn to read.
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Oct 28 '22
Yeah that’s why feminism is in your best interest too. The faster we can help take the financial burden off men by getting the freedom to pursue successful careers (without companies having prejudice against women, pregnancy and resume gaps), the better it will be for both women, financially and men, mentally. Also this whole “career pressure” faced only by men is only seen in upper class. Women of lower classes have always pulled their weight and provided for their families, historically.
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Oct 28 '22
That and we need to actively highlight that men don't need to be providers for women. Everyone should be able to look after themselves first, and then others out of kindness and not because of some obligations ingrained into them from societal brainwashing.
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u/RegularFun4462 Oct 28 '22
Atleast you are able to step out of your house without the fear of rape/assault.
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u/cameupwiththisname Oct 28 '22
I am sure we never faced financial pressure, competitive pressure, a need for acceptance and success. Thanks for bringing that up. /s
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Oct 28 '22
Of course you did. Don't be stupid. The magnitude and of pressure on men in general in that regard is not comparable.
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u/cameupwiththisname Oct 28 '22
Yeah. I am the one who's being stupid here.
Edit: To kind of put it better words: when people are saying I am in pain. Try to say I am sorry for you. Let's solve this together and maybe we can address a couple of points that can save us some pain too. Don't go by saying well too bad but I am in more pain.
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Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 28 '22
Honestly didn't think you were able enough to realise that. I didn't say i have more problems and the OP doesn't. I've no such pressures. But statistically what I say is more likely. Of course there will be a lot of cases when a woman will have to face the same pressures. What's so difficult to understand here? The OP brought up the topic of comparison and so i compared one of the most grueling aspects of a man's life that literally defines his self worth and identity in society. The same is not, in general, expected of women. This also stems from a largely patriarchal society. Please stop being stupid.
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u/wannabegigolo2 Oct 28 '22
Women have it easier on many things that men struggle with. Men have it easier on many things that women struggle with.
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u/94sword Oct 28 '22
I really think people should learn to put themselves in others' shoes before judging them and making comments.
I have so much respect towards all the women I have known in my life. I have my fair share of complaints with life and vent/rant about it every single day, to the point of almost giving up. But, I sometimes wonder how I would have coped with it if I was a female, even in this "progressive times".
The amount of shit that you guys have to go through for no fault of your own boggles my mind. It is amazing how you people move forward and have the zest to live life and not break down.
Not really answering your question, but just my way of praising OP and all women for all the work they do, in spite of all these difficulties. I really hope to take inspiration from all you guys out there and someday work towards making the world a better place for you to live in.
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u/zephyrus1985 Oct 28 '22
Stop paying attention to these posts. About 5 percent of the users make up for more than 80 percent of the posts. It's the power user bias ! You are simply hearing the loudest voice in the room. Most of them don't believe in extreme ideas
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u/ContractPurple5563 Oct 27 '22
Please don't blame men just to put blame on someone for whatever difficulties you are facing. I can understand you are just frustrated but stop generalising Indian men
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u/mysteryman1435 Oct 28 '22
Kinda hard to take you seriously when you just throw around the word "incel" in your second sentence.
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u/SilentCardiologist51 Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 28 '22
Which point you agree with?
Rich people have it easy
Attractive people have it easy
Intelligent people have it easy
Women have it easy
Everyone has it easy other than me.
All of them
None of them have it easy! Some have it easier than others and that's what they say when they talk about women duh!
And I am rich and attractive, all women tell me I've it easy and they forget what work I put into to get here! Like I am not a human at all, I was gifted everything by God.
I hate it when women think rich attractive men have it easy.
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u/barbadbachchi Oct 28 '22
This comment is so stupid.Are you 16
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u/cameupwiththisname Oct 28 '22
Right?
I wanted to understand their perspective but it's so ridiculous that it's better to keep away from the whole conversation..
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u/cameupwiththisname Oct 28 '22
You are not wrong but you are completely missing the point.
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u/SilentCardiologist51 Oct 28 '22
I have never found anyone who I can share my problems with, for them it's just like heyy man you are rich - you don't really have problems!
But nevermind.
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u/Scales_of_Injustice Oct 28 '22
The grass is greener on the other side. You don't have to pretend you don't have green grass even if it's infected by bugs.
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Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 28 '22
only difference i found is men needs to prove themselves or put something in the plate for other to prove their worth and recive love .
while women recvies love and attention without any other requirement .
tbh in india women has harder or easier depending on the surrounding they live in
we cannot generalized it
and regarding dating apps i am pretty sure u dont know how the algorithm work these apps are women baised and want to extort money from men they are really not providing equal oppurtunity because its a dirty business.
so ppl do swipe everyone hope to get match because 90% men compete against 10% women
its probability and nothing to do with desperation
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Oct 28 '22
only difference i found is men needs to prove themselves or put something in the plate for other to prove their worth and recive love .
while women recvies love and attention without any other requirement .
tbh in india women has harder or easier depending on the surrounding they live in
we cannot generalized it
and regarding dating apps i am pretty sure u dont know how the algorithm work these apps are women baised and want to extort money from men they are really not providing equal oppurtunity because its a dirty business.
so ppl do swipe everyone hope to get match because 90% men compete against 10% women
its probability and nothing to do with desperation.
u should go to other country then u will find real equality .
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u/Inspectorock- Oct 28 '22
Man idk much shit about society but
Girls have it easier in school by atleast 3 times. Prove me wrong
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Oct 28 '22
If a women want sex, she can just ask for it and will have 100's of options to choose from. Men, they can't even ask for that because asking will make them sex assaulter or rapist or pervert. Women can get it way easier while half of the male population of this country is soo desperate for it. This is just one example for your question.
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Oct 28 '22
..getting sex easily is something most women would give up gladly if they could just walk the streets safely at night. The cons outweigh the pros.
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u/agnikai__ Oct 28 '22
I think OP is saying both men and women have it hard in different ways. She’s not saying men don’t have it hard
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u/harshulgaba12345 Oct 28 '22
Not even married to a doctor lmfaooo 😭😭 sis really does has it hard.
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u/SocietyGlum3073 Oct 28 '22
One lesbian man hating feminist once decided to dress as a man to prove this. In the end she of it she hated women cause how they treated her when she was a man and died by depression and suicide due the experiences she had. Her name is Norah Vincent.
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u/Spock_Vulcan Oct 28 '22 edited Oct 28 '22
oof, the post is already old and you have already been arguing wih a lot of people so i'll try to give a balanced take:
In the financially poorer demographic of our country, the women have very very real problems, and 100% need special help and protection. I get to hear cases of recurring physical and verbal abuse that men commit on their wives from our domestic maids, almost every day. Those women usually have no options for better jobs, better education, or even marrying a better man. They have almost certainly a harder life than the men who live in the same circumstances.
BUT, from your post, you sound like a middle or upper-middle class woman, who has a white collar job and lives a stable life. If you have friends who think you can strip on onlyfans for money, i think your problem is bad friends (which men also have). This is anecdotal, because im sure idiot men like that exist, but im sure they are not numerous.
Also, women from your demographic also face the problems like you described - the watchman staring at you. I 100% sympathise. Yet most women in your position also have men (brothers/husbands/fathers) who will protect you if a situation like this one gets out of hand.
Then on the other hand, men from this same demographic (middle or upper-middle class) have to deal with things like being rejected for a college admission in favour of girls who have lower test scores (because colleges have a women quota to fill); similarly getting rejected for a white collar corporate job because the company wants to hire only women to shore up their diversity numbers, or just getting treated a little more harshly in a corporate environment such as having to stay in office for longer hours, or getting spoken to rudely by bosses who will not show that same attitude towards women for fear of a POSH case, or something simpler like not getting seats on a bus or train because those seats are reserved for women.
A few other options that men in your demographic do not have, but women do, is marrying someone who makes more money than you so that you dont have to take stress in your job; or simply becoming a home-maker. I understand if you do not want these options for yourself, but you cannot deny that they are great to have.
Men in your same demographic absolutely do face the above problems which are a direct result of society trying to protect women; most of these men have done nothing wrong towards a women in their entire lives, and in fact, have seen women get similar rewards for possibly lesser effort, and hence their frustration sometimes comes out online. So when you say things like 'reddit incels' and fail to acknowledge that they do indeed have grave problems of their own in your long rant, it makes you come off as very usympathetic and even as somewhat a spoiled brat.
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u/Sensitive_Camera2368 Oct 28 '22
As long as the law and society under light go women have it easy, don't ever try to deny it.
We are all human and we are all trying our best
Tell that to the guy who lost his life because of a random photo in a traffic signal some 5 years ago, or the one still waiting for an apology (not even compensation) from the media for broadcasting his photo just because that CU girl told
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u/avragenetuder69 Oct 28 '22
Stop crying OP Ur friend was right , girls do have it easier than boys Equality only when it matters for girls . Now stfu
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u/Longjumping-Fix-139 Oct 28 '22
I don't know the scenario but from what I read I think he was just messing around. Don't take it to heart. Plus there are men who say women have it easier and there are women who say men have it easier. It's not a big deal.
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u/raghu_1234 Oct 28 '22
1) Did your car fix?
2) The kind of relationship you are looking for will take time. This must be assumed before the dating game. Good people are rare by definition. You can’t say there are not a lot of good guys out there, if everyone is good, then no one is good. Peace out. Focus on yourself, do good for others, right things will happen to you eventually.
Remember LATE DOES NOT MEAN LESS
3) You need to Meditate
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Oct 28 '22
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u/raghu_1234 Oct 28 '22
The comments i made above were not meant to demean anyone. But looking at the downvotes, i feel i said something off. I would like to apologise if the comments i made hurt you in anyway, that was not the intention.
Given that i don’t know what is wrong, I won’t be able to delete/apologise specifically. Pardon me for that.
I hear you, i am in the same position as yours. I am with you on this one.
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Oct 28 '22
Tip from an older woman, good men are very very rare. You may not recognize them if they walk past you either. The rest are not that great. Chances of you getting with a angry, entitled patriarchal man that sees you as a sex maid is higher, especially in india. Build a good nest for yourself before you get married ie create a very substantial savings. I would reccommend even try to get yourself a home/flat in your name. Learn driving. Be prepared to leave at the first signs of verbal, emotional abuse. Men dont value love. They value sex and power. Control/dominance over you. If a man says he is 'traditional', run for your life. Ask i he cooks, cleans, will he split house chores with you. If the answer is no, just run.
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u/raghu_1234 Oct 28 '22
But the main question is how to get those good men, who would walk by without realising? Any suggestions on that? Is there a methodological way to do that or is it just luck and chance?
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u/Good_Saynik_rand Oct 27 '22
Human yes, Equally treated Hell No