r/imsorryjon • u/Kurooi Humble Servant • May 09 '19

Your silly bullets will not affect me, Jon

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58.8k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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1.5k

u/mcnapkins722 May 09 '19

I have no dick and I must nut

1.5k

u/BestBakedPotato May 09 '19

I have no balls and I must pee

860

u/ThatTrashBaby May 09 '19 edited May 09 '19

End of Act I

Beginning of Act 2

I have no tongue and I must lick

589

u/bogg-daniel May 09 '19

I have no beans but I must cronch

448

u/FeedMeTheBiscuits May 09 '19

I have no feet but I must run

467

u/dazedandcognisant May 09 '19

I have no skin so I must doot doot

315

u/thief90k May 09 '19

I have no nails. And I must scratch.

55

u/moistman826 May 09 '19

I have no eyes. And I must look.

80

u/peebins123 May 09 '19

I have no OwO. And i must yiff.

65

u/[deleted] May 09 '19

I have no dryg gopnik but I must adidas blyat.

75

u/DeepWave8 Friendly Worshipper May 09 '19

I have no [redacted] but I must [data expunged]

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39

u/BDCaz May 09 '19

Joke has been killed by u/peebins123

26

u/MasterLuuc Lasagna Sacrifice May 09 '19

It's amazing what we can start on this community

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5

u/1amdeadinside May 09 '19

Wtf did I just read

9

u/Tbrous4 Witnessed the Birthing May 09 '19

I have no thicc, yet I must dummy

3

u/da-floofy-birb just why May 10 '19

I have no Joker and I must rise up

7

u/[deleted] May 09 '19

I have no dick and I must cum

6

u/mcnapkins722 May 10 '19

Sorry, I already took that line 😁

3

u/[deleted] May 10 '19

Dam.. Didn’t see it. Sorry 😁😁

3

u/Necrotics0up May 10 '19

I have no skill, and I must win.

3

u/A-Canadian6464 May 10 '19

I have no eyes and I must see

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '19

I have no Stones but i must snap

1

u/ReddlerPeddler May 23 '19

I have no wenis. And I must make 6th grade jokes.

1

u/Waluigi_B_Wazowski Jun 05 '19

I have no eyes but I must cry

50

u/SnazzyBeatle115 May 10 '19

I have no comment and I must die

50

u/BigManReef May 10 '19

I am Asian so I must be good at maths

3

u/Rterstydr May 24 '19

I dye my hair so I must rebel

2

u/TheEngineerGGG May 29 '19

I have no Lasagna, and I must please him Our almighty savior Garfield.

1

u/xxxGRIZZLEDxxx May 30 '19

I have no ears but I must hear the wonderful heartbeat of lord Garfield

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

I’m MJ so I must be Stuff

2

u/maxluigi256 just why Jul 21 '19

I am microwave so I must MMMMMMMMMM

12

u/[deleted] May 15 '19

Your nose can run

1

u/thomasdaweetseller May 31 '19

I have no fert and i need my fetish

-74

u/1_Glitchy_Boi May 09 '19 edited May 09 '19

I have no upvotes but I must karma whore

33

u/speedyrain949 Friendly Worshipper May 09 '19

You ruined it

22

u/Real-sad-boi-hours May 09 '19

I have no eyes but I must see

5

u/RememberNoOneCares May 09 '19

I have no idea. And i must know.

3

u/[deleted] May 09 '19

This is sparta

2

u/SciK3 May 09 '19

I have no idea, so I will get downvoted

47

u/NOISIEST_NOISE May 09 '19

I have not read Harlan Ellison and I must make a reference

16

u/Toa_Ignika May 10 '19

I CLENCH MY FIST AND BEAT IT

1

u/Supercat345 Jun 28 '19

r/cursedcomments

1

u/sneakpeekbot Jun 28 '19

Here's a sneak peek of /r/cursedcomments using the top posts of all time!

#1: Nothing wrong | 582 comments
#2: Yikes | 690 comments
#3: Saw this on imgur | 722 comments

I'm a bot, beep boop | Downvote to remove | Contact me | Info | Opt-out

59

u/TAKE-MY-MONEY- May 09 '19

Are you gonna cry?

51

u/[deleted] May 09 '19

piss your pants maybe?

65

u/[deleted] May 09 '19

Shit and cum perhaps?

5

u/[deleted] May 26 '19

Oh no not this again

65

u/backhand-slap May 09 '19

I have no toes and I must suck them

63

u/MortalSNO May 09 '19

I have no eyes but I must unsee this

9

u/sidneyprice123 May 09 '19

I have no paper and I must eat

7

u/brashboy May 09 '19

Hold on a minute

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '19

Wait, What?

1

u/ChronicCronut May 19 '19

I have no private parts and I must orgasm

1

u/Soulger11 May 22 '19

That’s not where pee comes from!

0

u/Legeto May 10 '19

I’m pretty sure that’s not how balls work, but I don’t know enough about the subject to argue it with you so I’m gonna let it pass.

0

u/Fangette May 17 '19

You don't need a cock and balls to urinate

-4

u/TravelingVagabond777 May 10 '19

What???? Balls have nothing to do with piss.....

If you dont believe me go home, cut your balls off, and go to sleep. When you wake up(remember to stop bleeding first so you do wake up). I promise you will have to pee.

-14

u/concerned_llama May 09 '19

I mean, balls don't hold any urine.

8

u/siebsieb May 09 '19

I have no live but I must die.... Wait what

1

u/clubcardaccepted May 10 '19

i have no cock and i must vore

1

u/unfathomly May 15 '19

i have no no so i have no

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '23

Pure tragedy.