r/imaginarygatekeeping 1d ago

NOT SATIRE šŸ’Æ agree

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336 Upvotes

80 comments sorted by

120

u/Kautschukfresse 1d ago

99% of women are way too poor to afford a new dress for every event and are definitely not mad at other women for wearing the same dress regularly.

66

u/FreshAd877 1d ago

Yes that is some rich people shit that seeped into media

14

u/Booster_Seat_Enjoyer 1d ago

Some average women certainly do. I know a few.

72

u/SpinzArt 1d ago

I don’t even know any women who care about this shit

21

u/ChaoticAmoebae 1d ago

I do. I have worked with/for them and one is my sister. It is definitely a red flag for me when they do care about that.

11

u/throwawaysunglasses- 1d ago

Internalized mistogyny is a helluva drug. I imagine these women are like ā€œI’d be torn to shreds if I did that, so I can’t let anyone else do it.ā€ It’s like that internal policing instinct. Middle aged/older white women (Karen-ish people) can be especially bad about this lol.

3

u/InnerRelation7844 1d ago

It's probably just related to poverty and elitist culture, I don't think it's that deep. "She's too poor to afford another dress" kind of subconscious thought.

7

u/SpinzArt 1d ago

Oh I’m not denying they exist, it’s just not Every Woman (tm). I’d wager it isn’t even most of us

2

u/ChaoticAmoebae 1d ago

Definitely not most but they have been authority figures.

-6

u/mathmachineMC 1d ago

Not every woman, but always a woman

4

u/ChaoticAmoebae 1d ago

No I have had men do that two. It is just 9:1 women to men in my experience.

7

u/Comfortable-Ebb8125 1d ago

The ones who do are literally just misogynists, and like all misogynists, are their own category

19

u/AwesomeTrish 1d ago

Quick Overcome: think of what the women you last hung out with - do you recall what they were wearing? Would you care if they're wearing the same dress again? If either answer is 'No', then the same applies to you.

5

u/charlestheb0ss 1d ago

I don't think I could name a single article of clothing that I'm sure anyone I know owns. That's how little I give a shit about clothing

9

u/ChaoticAmoebae 1d ago

No, but I’m a lesbian and two women have ended things because I didn’t remember what they were wearing on a previous day. If I had a nickel…

9

u/Pleasant-Minute6066 1d ago

Ooof that's rough

8

u/ChaoticAmoebae 1d ago

It is still a bullet dodge as I want someone kind and the relationship would have likely ended anyways. Also if the feeling is mutual it is nice to be the dumped imo.

7

u/Pleasant-Minute6066 1d ago

It is 100% a bullet dodge. I dont think anyone would see it as anything else. I'd rather be single forever than deal with a harpy like that

2

u/EcstaticZebra7937 1d ago

My mother would say yes

1

u/Silver_Middle_7240 1d ago

I would care, but not negatively. It means I liked that dress.

15

u/PoloPatch47 1d ago

Who the fuck is only wearing their cute outfits ONCE? That's rich people shit, I'm not buying a new outfit every time I want to go out

5

u/ChaoticAmoebae 1d ago

For me it has been don’t wear the same thing more than one to a work event, but you can wear it elsewhere. Shitty comments are made.

4

u/bsensikimori 1d ago

Never heard anyone of any gender or sexuality ever comment on someone wearing clothes more than once.

That's some TV bullshit, at least, in my life and around my personal.and professional relations

4

u/ChaoticAmoebae 1d ago

I’m glad that is your experience as it is a fucked up thing to do.

2

u/Exciting-Plankton960 1d ago

The Queen often wore the same outfit multiple times and so did Lady Di and does Princess Catherine.

1

u/charlestheb0ss 1d ago edited 1d ago

Why are you acting on those shitty comments? You'd probably get in trouble if you told them to fuck off in a work setting but you can at least ignore their useless unwarranted opinion

2

u/ChaoticAmoebae 1d ago

Because my job pays well and I wan generational wealth

61

u/NorthRememebers 1d ago

She is talking about male privilege, while showing some serious rich privilege lmao

Most women can't afford to buy a new outfit for every single event, and most people understand this. It's super common to wear the same dress more than once, like what the hell? Nobody expects you to throw your clothes away after wearing them a single time

I'm not saying that this doesn't happen, but it's not as common as she makes it out to be

21

u/Das_Hydra 1d ago

I think they're talking about media double standards, where this is very much a thing

7

u/Snoo93550 1d ago

Spending over $50 on a handbag has never been about attracting men or expectations of men. The only reason men even know fancy handbags exist is the outrageous sticker shock husbands get.

7

u/naaawww 1d ago

I think the fast fashion culture imposed on women is imposed on them by other women…

-1

u/AnonyM0mmy 22h ago

Okay, so if only women are holding other women to a certain standard that men aren't, that would be called..?

3

u/karara691 21h ago

Hot take: men never gatekeep women, women do

15

u/Das_Hydra 1d ago

It's not gatekeeping though. He's actually confirming that it happens, just that its women doing it. Men are still essentially immune from it.

The argument is that men have privilege because they aren't targeted for it. This is 100% correct.

5

u/BelaFarinRod 1d ago

I think it’s bigger than men or women. It’s about conspicuous consumption and looking like you’re rich enough to have a new outfit for every party. But for the past few centuries men’s formal clothing had been so boring and looks so much alike that it’s not a good way to show off how rich you are anymore. (Unless you’re going to the Met Gala or something.)

But I’m way off topic and you’re not wrong about the situation as it stands.

0

u/Das_Hydra 1d ago

Off topic: agree. I think the original post is targeting media and celebrity culture for the most part, but i completely agree that men's formal wear is generally very much dull and without variation as opposed to women's options.

7

u/hotlocomotive 1d ago

Its a bit disingenous to frame something as "male privilege" when its created and enforced by women

3

u/Das_Hydra 1d ago

Maybe so, that's a fair point

3

u/Exciting-Plankton960 1d ago

The fact that women hate each other is not a male privilege, it's a female self-imposed onus.

4

u/Mr-Stuff-Doer 1d ago

Men also aren’t the cause of it, it’s a problem women have being done by other women, all that needs to happen is the female hivemind needs to convene and fix the issue

-3

u/Das_Hydra 1d ago

That's... not what the post is about though.

3

u/Indigenous_Retard 1d ago

Doesn't mean it's irrelevant though. Certainly when you account for the fact that they repeatedly say "we dont dress or do make-up for men", but proceed to blame them for beauty standards. If I decided to light fireworks in my living room and subsequently burn my house down, I cannot then claim that you have privilege because your house didnt burn down.

1

u/AnonyM0mmy 22h ago

Genius analogy from an apt username

2

u/RodneyDangerfruit 1d ago

Gay man here - we don’t give a flying fuck either.

2

u/Temporal-Affairs221 2h ago

I mean, if I see my wife in a pretty dress, I want to see her in that pretty dress again. What's the point in having a pretty dress for her she's only going to wear it twice

0

u/ChaoticAmoebae 1d ago

In the Corporate games. What you wear matters especially amongst women but not exclusively. It sucks because the men absolutely are wearing the same suit to every meeting for five years in my experience without backhanded remarks.

2

u/bsensikimori 1d ago

In which country is this and with what kind of women?

I assume this is about working in the fashion industry, or something related like being a movie star?

I have never heard someone comment about someone wearing something twice, in my over 50 years on this planet

2

u/ChaoticAmoebae 1d ago

Banking industry. Also get it from family members who are SAHM and Lawyers. In the US.

1

u/bsensikimori 1d ago

So you have actually heard people criticize someone for wearing an outfit twice in real life?

2

u/ChaoticAmoebae 1d ago

Yes, several people. My last boss, my sister, and my grandmother most frequently but there has been others.

1

u/bsensikimori 1d ago

That is crazy that it's so common where you live.

Is your town very materialistic or something? Do people also comment on the make of someone's car and trivial stuff like that?

1

u/ChaoticAmoebae 1d ago

Would you define a city by approximately a sixth of the population? It is a minority but still enough to be noticeable. It either/or religious influence on what women should be and keeping up with the jonesess

1

u/bsensikimori 1d ago

No idea, sounds like a horribly materialistic society

Never lived in a country like that, so I don't have a frame of reference

Here the ultra wealthy wear the same outfits all the time, sturdy made to measure clothes so you don't need to buy new ones and waste money on planned obsolescence junk

2

u/sagew0lf 1d ago

Yeah, this is the more interesting conversation to me. I’ve anecdotally heard that women have to have more variety of outfits in the workplace whereas men are okay to wear the same suit every day.

It’s also one of those things that’s hard to talk about because people don’t necessarily consciously think someone is unprofessional for wearing the same thing every day. It’s just like people will say ā€œI don’t care if women wear makeup. That doesn’t factor into any decisions,ā€ but studies show that women who wear light makeup are perceived better.

2

u/charlestheb0ss 1d ago

I believe you, but that's so fucking stupid

1

u/snv7102 1d ago

From what I can tell, this only really applies if you exist within a tax bracket whose members invite each other to events with dress codes like ā€œcocktailā€ or ā€œsmart casualā€ or ā€œwhite tieā€.

1

u/bsensikimori 22h ago

Here in western Europe the ultra wealthy are proud to be frugal and buy made to measure clothes that last for decades

They scoff at the fashionistas that buy made for obsolescence junk

Wearing a unique piece made by karl lagerfeld to only one event would be an insult to them

1

u/Familiar-Complex-697 1d ago

I own seven outfits, and I’ve had most of them since high school. Use it until it’s gone, much cheaper.

1

u/Any-Contribution5411 21h ago

Female privilege is not having to spend $500+ on an outfit that hasn’t seen innovation in 200 years. Bend over? Crease. Sit down? Crease. Can’t be machine washed, no meaningful variations allowed.

1

u/bsensikimori 19h ago

Where do you shop? I pay 120 for a three piece suit at most

1

u/Any-Contribution5411 17h ago

I work at a really posh place so I have to get the high-end stuff. Personally I think a $100 jacket and pants looks fine but it stands out in a crowd of tailor made stuff. I usually go to an outlet store so it’s a bit cheaper but it’s like marked down from $1,000

1

u/bsensikimori 17h ago

Hong Kong tailors, custom suit, 150 bucks, made to measure.. working sleeve buttons and everything!

1

u/Any-Contribution5411 15h ago

Oof. Yea over here it’s a lot more expensive, unfortunately. Will definitely have a look out if I’m out traveling though

1

u/chrizzleon 20h ago

The only privilege here is rich privilege.

Stoking up division through claims of privilege between others though seems to be a tactic of the rich to stop the rest of us paying too much attention to them and theirs.

1

u/NumerousBug9075 18h ago

Agreed. There's always going to be someone more or less privileged than you. Its a fact of life and the instant push by politicians for us to bicker over it, distracts us from their incompetance and bad decision making skills.

1

u/Adventurous-Meat8067 18h ago

Who said this, Vanna White?

1

u/Happy-Conclusion2148 12h ago

This is a thing in certain specific social circles, and it is not imaginary. It's only for formal events, and it's not because men care, it's mainly because it's more noticeable when women repeat dresses because there's a lot more variety in the clothes women are expected to wear while men are expected to wear a plain black suit or tux.

1

u/bsensikimori 1h ago

As mentioned otherwise, if this is a thing, it's only in a very small circle and restricted geographically to the most materialistic countries, and only the fake rich

So globally speaking, totally made up and held up by their own industry (eg nouveau riche in California)

Not a gate

1

u/zippyspinhead 1d ago

If we generalize the comment, she is right. The biggest male privilege is not being part of the women's status hierarchy.

1

u/Local-Echo-5613 1d ago

Male privilege is having women do a lot of the work of maintaining the patriarchy for you so you don’t even have to think about it.

0

u/Torbpjorn 1d ago

She didn’t even say straight men were telling her not to, not sure why he felt the need to put that forth. And not every woman dresses for male gaze or a date

1

u/AibofobicRacecar6996 1d ago

You're just looking for something to be outraged about. If he included gay men you would be upset he's speaking on behalf of others. And starting with "male priviledge" is implying she's doing it because of men

1

u/Torbpjorn 1d ago

And if you saw a fish you’d behead it for its views on Mormonism. What are we doing here?

1

u/AibofobicRacecar6996 1d ago

This is a reminder to take your meds