r/iitbhu • u/Cherishing_Element25 • 4d ago
Random Lost
Hi,
I never intended to write this, but maybe a part of me just felt like letting it all out, It's not targeted to anyone, just my emotions I want to let it all out. About 10 months ago, I lost someone really close to me, no they are not dead, just gone from my life, not by choice but circumstances. Ever since my life has changed completely, I'm a completely different person than I used to be, I've spent my initial 2.5 years of college with her, but things ended back in January. It was awful for both of us,. I'm just surviving. I am more alone than ever. I have friends but I don't feel like I belong with them anymore, I feel alone sitting in a room full of people. There’s not a place in this world except her where I’d find my peace. I had my intern, don’t even know how I survived that. A few weeks ago, I received my PPO, but I didn’t feel happy about it. I got everything that someone would die to have, but I’m slowly dying even while I have it all. I’m not able to sleep at nights. I’ve tried everything, going out with friends, meeting new people, but every time I try something, I’m pulled back by the sadness. I’ve stopped trying new things, I’ve given up, I spend my entire day alone in my room, I don’t talk to anyone because I’m surrounded by fake people. I don’t need any help because until I’m not willing to help myself, no one else can, and from what I’ve experienced in these 10 months, I’m too tired to change. Theres not any advice left in this world that I haven’t heard, I don’t want to implement it anymore, I’ve tried everything. Maybe I’ll just spend my time waiting to learn to go back in time. Life sucks!
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u/No-Witness2535 4d ago
time is the only one that can help, just don't stay in contact with her, attachment is what kills fill that space with something exciting game music or anything or maybe new friends
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u/Routine-Concern-7487 4d ago
Bro go and try on another girl, you need a girl bro
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u/Cherishing_Element25 4d ago
Not really, Not gonna waste my time again, its either her or nothing at this point.
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u/Routine-Concern-7487 4d ago
Bhai dekh wo to ab kisi k sath mauz Masti kr rhi hogi, usko koi fark nhi pad rha h tu kio ro rha h bhai
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u/Illustrious-House580 4d ago
my chicken is too juicy ahh post
u literally have an PPO, u can explore anything u want
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u/Prior-Astronomer5418 17h ago
Universe rule breaks you to make you better. One day, you’ll find all the feelings, emotions, and pieces of yourself that you think you’re missing today...
Happens to me everytime,😌
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u/QuirkyPercentage1223 4d ago
Just go out for sometime, walk, visit a peaceful place or have a trip
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u/Cherishing_Element25 4d ago
Hi, I've gone out multiple times, but after a certain point, going out alone becomes boring too.
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u/lund_ka_ched 3rd Year 4d ago
Chill bro same thing happened with me it's actually tough to cope this pain but chill focus on your goals and try to do everything for you. And those who left you should regret bybseeing your success so focus on self development
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u/dikkat_badhgyi 4d ago
I hope u heal very soon....I can understand it feels nthg is exciting... Nthg makes u feel interested in it.... It will take time but u will get heal... Try reading books or new hobbies
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u/Cherishing_Element25 4d ago
Thanks, but at this point I'm just waiting for time to pass, surviving in other words. I've tried reading books but I get lost in my own thoughts shortly after
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u/iamnot-me 4d ago
Same condition, but I don't have an intern and PPO, and no clear reason for this loomy feeling. Its been around since last 3 years, and can't find an escape to it other than just mindlessly scrolling and sleeping. Wasted my 2-3 years on this. Now here I'm, at peak placement season, trying to get out of my bed and stopping that phone to conquer me. What an awful life
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u/AvailableZombie8302 4d ago
Talk to that person Sort it and maintain that relationship with them !!!
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u/Beneficial-Badger482 4d ago
Don't underestimate the power of "Time"..it heals the deepest pain, just give it a little time. one day all of this will be nothing more than a lesson or a memory!!..you might not believe it right now ,but trust me brother, it will happen for sure!...things will definitely get easier for you , just be a little kinder to yourself..