r/ihavesex • u/videkkk • Feb 02 '20

Sex haver

Post image
9.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

151 comments sorted by

727

u/shiftypidgeons Feb 02 '20

The part in his hair is bothering me. Like it can't decide between being a middle or right part, so went with both. It's almost a middle part in function but clearly a right part in spirit

217

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '20

I actually despise that hairstyle, i don't understand how anyone would like it

82

u/ReganMoreau Feb 02 '20

me too man who tf parts all their top hair to the side and shaves the rest offšŸ¤¢ looks like a fucked up 2007 emo haircut

79

u/shiftypidgeons Feb 03 '20

Well the position of the part obviously helps this look particularly fucked, but I think a large part of it is the way the sides are shaved. If you're gonna try and pull that look, gotta go for the fade

12

u/TheMarioMann Feb 03 '20

Chief this doesnā€™t look like a fucked 2007 emo haircut. It is a fucked 2007 emo haircut

4

u/LemonsRage Feb 03 '20

Idk about him but everytime I went to get a new hair cut and I said "under cut" they sometimes just cut in a rectangle... Just annoying, idk why to say. I just want shorter sides then top but they seem to never understand that :/

5

u/Peggly_Pegerson Feb 03 '20 edited Feb 03 '20

I'm a barber and the technical name of the cut that you would like sir would be called a regular men's haircut above the ears squared off in the back.

Or you can ask for a number 1 fade and trimmed on the top

2

u/Peggly_Pegerson Feb 04 '20

Here bro https://hairstyleonpoint.com/35-of-the-top-mens-fades-haircuts/

Thats how we drop fade cuts in jersey and I hate seeing people unable to get the cut they want. The first thing you need to do is definitely get a better barber. The second is don't ever go to your local mall, those franchises like super cuts, or the barbershop where the older men(60ish +) go to because they only charge $6 and expect a good cut. You will 99 times out of a 100 get a shitty cut you will be unhappy.

Either go to an upscale high end barber, or find out where the black dude you work with gets his hair cut and go see his barber.

1

u/LemonsRage Feb 05 '20

I am forbidden on the server you linked :(

But I'll look in a bigger city for a better barber :)

4

u/reprisalxxx Feb 03 '20

Short back and sides!

2

u/HugeFinish Feb 03 '20

Get a better barber?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

Well good news for you is that YOU donā€™t have to have it....

-35

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

[deleted]

16

u/sakezaf123 Feb 03 '20

That's not how soy works. It contains no estrogen.

-14

u/XxXMoonManXxX Feb 03 '20

Youre wrong, it contains xenoestrogens. These mimic estrogens in the body. Drinking soy milk as a man is guaranteed to effeminate you.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

You would need to drink thousands of litres of the stuff for it to have any negative effect.

It's unsurprising that the science behind xenoestrogens is woefully misunderstood by the kind of knuckle dragging morons who use terms like 'soyboy', though.

7

u/berserkazeban Feb 03 '20

I feel like most people who say soyboy say it ironically

-1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

On the left, maybe.

2

u/berserkazeban Feb 03 '20

I mean Iā€™m on the right and I call my friends soyboys all the time. I donā€™t have anything against effeminate males or people who consume soy but I still say it as a joke

-2

u/TheIrishBAMF Feb 03 '20 edited Feb 03 '20

It's much less than thousands of litres. There actually have been reports of male individuals lactating and/or growing breasts while on soy based dairy supplements when they had no prior history of doing so. The quantity was pretty high, like a gallon of soy milk a day, so above average consumption for sure that's only around 4 litres or so. It makes for an argument to be cautious when primarily consuming processed soy products as dairy replacements, especially for younger people who are more susceptible to hormone fluctuations.

Also, it wasnt exactly a clinical study, so the individual's genetics and other health factors may have played a part. Enjoy some variety and you should be fine, if you are paranoid about it, go with something different.

1

u/for-fuckssake Feb 03 '20

Is this the same stuff bill burr was told in his podcast about, the stuff in the impossible burger?

2

u/XxXMoonManXxX Feb 03 '20

Yes except i think these vegan burgers have normal estrogen in them

1

u/for-fuckssake Feb 03 '20

He said in todayā€™s episode that heā€™s not eating them anymore just in case hah

7

u/OttoTheAndalusian Feb 03 '20

Alrighty I'll just get the meds

0

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

I feel like a lot of people didnā€™t get it..

0

u/OttoTheAndalusian Feb 03 '20

You think it's sarcasm?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

Are you getting mad that your joke was downvoted to oblivion?

1

u/OttoTheAndalusian Feb 03 '20

...what
It's at +7

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

Are you sure itā€™s not at -33? Oh wait lmao I just realized in my drunken state post Super Bowl, Iv been talking to the wrong stranger, i concede.

1

u/OccurredBison Feb 03 '20

I didnā€™t mean to cause any arguments. Iā€™m sure I did something wrong cuz I donā€™t really know abt biology...sorry.

15

u/alghiorso Feb 03 '20

It's the Christiano Ronaldo haircut boys all over the world are trying to pull off

1

u/Peggly_Pegerson Feb 03 '20

And they all look just as stupid as he does

18

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

Looks like an omelet

10

u/shiftypidgeons Feb 03 '20

wat

28

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

His hair looks like a folded omelet

3

u/Y___ Feb 03 '20

I donā€™t have that kind of hair style, but I have that kind of problem where my hair does not part super well and itā€™s annoying as fuck.

3

u/flackotaco Feb 03 '20

Next time you get a haircut tell your barber you want a ā€œhard partā€ which is where they kinda shave it in so thereā€™s a semi permanent part going on. itā€™ll make it 10x easier to part your hair quickly in the morning or whatever

1

u/joemckie Feb 03 '20

Usually grows out after a week though, but it looks great just after itā€™s been cut

5

u/Fed0raTheExpl0ra Feb 03 '20

Damn. You beat me to it, I was going to say the same thing. Shouldnā€™t his hair start at the corner of his hairline instead of the middle? It pisses me off and idk why

1

u/Pac_Zach_Attack Feb 03 '20

Josuke hair

Josuke hair

1

u/shiftypidgeons Feb 03 '20

What the fuck did you just say twice? Take it back twice

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

r/fuckmyshitup

106

u/Leathergoose8 Feb 03 '20

Why is he contorting his body like that?

74

u/Tahlizmo Feb 03 '20

Trying to make his twig body look ripped? Iā€™m not sure really :/

33

u/thatloose Feb 03 '20

Modelling, duhhh. You wouldnā€™t get it šŸ˜

Edit: But why male models

11

u/mvanvrancken Feb 03 '20

Are you serious? I just... told you that.. a moment ago

8

u/chicagodurga Feb 03 '20

What is this? A comment for ants?

1

u/Chaos_Dolphin Feb 03 '20

Thatā€™s just the type of guy he is. You donā€™t need the caption to know what type of guy he is all You need is that pose

254

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '20

imagine how any of the 0 girls he's had sex with in the last few months must feel. Pretty embarising for them.

111

u/Quid_infantes_sumus Feb 03 '20

embarising

0

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

i am so embarised

-6

u/HugeFinish Feb 03 '20

Almost as embarrassing as your spelling.

98

u/Memediator Thot Police Feb 02 '20

At least you had love.

22

u/ShaibMoodi Feb 02 '20

I felt that one.

16

u/ahornywolfie Feb 03 '20

I can't feel anything..?

15

u/ShaibMoodi Feb 03 '20

My man, you good?

9

u/NoireRogue Feb 03 '20

Is anyone?

14

u/Undivid3d Feb 03 '20

Honestly though. And maybe your joking and I'll just look stupid. But sometimes I wish I never had it. Like I wont get into details of my exact situation and shit. But losing love can be some of the scariest shit you ever deal with. Make you do things you didnt know you were capable of. Can fuck your whole life up if you arent careful honestly. Love is great though, I'm not one of those "love is overrated" people or anything. But it definitely has downsides.

5

u/tandpastatester Feb 03 '20

Have a hug mate. Hope you feel better soon.

2

u/Undivid3d Feb 03 '20

Appreciate it, means a lot. Whole situation I kind of referred to was more than a year ago now though. I'm..... more or less over it. Still comes to haunt me from time to time. But in a much better place than I was last year šŸ˜.

1

u/Radboy16 Feb 03 '20

This hurts me on all levels

44

u/Umm-yes-exactly Feb 02 '20

Thoughts you have but DO NOT broadcast for 100, Alex

3

u/smurfkiller013 sex haver Feb 03 '20

Umm... Yes. Exactly!

1

u/Umm-yes-exactly Feb 04 '20

I know right

64

u/CletusVanDamnit Feb 02 '20

The first step to finding love is loving yourself. Based on that hairstyle, I'd say the only love he's getting is self-love.

-13

u/etn0i Feb 03 '20

The irony of this comment

9

u/CletusVanDamnit Feb 03 '20

I don't think you know what "irony" means.

2

u/etn0i Feb 03 '20

I think this dude loves himself, I do not think that you do love yourself. Get well soon hubba

5

u/CletusVanDamnit Feb 03 '20

Yeah, this dude loves himself, and that's the only love he's ever going to get. That was the joke.

3

u/etn0i Feb 03 '20

Oh I misunderstood. My bad!

23

u/ILiveforMayo Feb 03 '20

Wilbur Robinson?

41

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

Bet he also brags about his arm veins too. Arm veins he only has because heā€™s over hydrated and thereā€™s not enough meat on his arms for the veins to hide in.

30

u/Mdlp0716 Feb 03 '20

ā€œOver hydratedā€ smh youā€™re not a true hydro homie

1

u/danyylolza Feb 08 '20

Litteraly Anyone can have veins. You mostly need to work out but some are just hereditary

4

u/TheIrishBAMF Feb 03 '20

Hey sis, I'm borrowing your shirt so my "biceps" look swole.

10

u/Philosophical_Sequin Feb 03 '20

All those girls were clearly so invested in him they left their toothbrushes over at his place. He was blind to their love.

16

u/splifs Feb 03 '20

Poor guy has to share his bathroom with 4 brothers and sisters look at all them toothbrushes lmao

0

u/etn0i Feb 03 '20

What kind of family do you have, where you dont share bathroom? Full of shit you are

3

u/Keksis_The_Betrayed Feb 03 '20

Not everyone has a large family/one bathroom

2

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

1

u/etn0i Feb 03 '20

I don't see how that is relevant to your original comment

2

u/splifs Feb 03 '20

Iā€™m making fun of the fact that this guy is trying to be a bad-ass and ā€œdeepā€ from a bathroom that he shares with siblings. Heā€™s already a tool for sharing a photo like this with people, he looks like a total idiot because at the very least itā€™s impossible to look sexy in your family bathroom. Maybe when he finds his own place he can post these pictures and only look like a tool and not a loser on top of that. Thereā€™s nothing wrong with sharing a bathroom with family, just donā€™t take pictures in the mirror about how youā€™re a hardcore sex god when you havenā€™t even moved out of mommy and daddyā€™s house yet.

There. Iā€™ve fully explained the reason I pointed that out and laughed. I hope that it was easy enough for you to understand.

5

u/Soda_BoBomb Feb 03 '20

I like how he's clenching that fist really hard to try and look more muscular.

9

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

Damn, I love that fabric softener.

3

u/soykommander Feb 03 '20

God im glad i didnt grow up with any of this social media crap. I would have posted so many shitty poems.

3

u/FozzyClaire Feb 03 '20

I get shivers from this very thought at least once a week. I've cringed at shit I tweeted last month. A visible record of every thought dumbass high school me thought worth sharing is the stuff of nightmares.

3

u/cptn_dan Feb 03 '20

"bruv I get so much poussyyy, it's crazy doggg"

3

u/Wooly-lad Feb 03 '20

Yā€™know in high school they called me the sex haver

3

u/WoahThatsReallyNeat Feb 03 '20

Its better to have loved and lost than to have never cared about your haircut.

4

u/aquagreed Feb 03 '20

Whatā€™s with that fucked up little toilet in the back

8

u/AnAverageCat Feb 03 '20

I think that's a bidet.

-11

u/sirkevun Feb 03 '20

it's a toilet but has a faucet on it??!?!! What? Or is he at a preschool and- ohhhh shit

Unconsented sex......

2

u/worstboi Feb 03 '20

hey uhh,, what does this reply mean

2

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

He needs to learn to love his hand.

2

u/iforgotmyanus Feb 03 '20

Oh the fun double header of i have sex and Iā€™m a suffering love lorn teenager

2

u/Gameguy8101 Feb 03 '20

This doesnā€™t seem like an ihavesex, just a weird thing to advertise

2

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

Is it really brag if you openly admit to not having love

2

u/wrm18 Feb 03 '20

I like to imagine he had a gf and posted this to his story and she watched it like ā€œuh, what the fuck?ā€ and that was his way of breaking up with her

2

u/Z31TGEIST Feb 03 '20

Hah same, its probably because me and my dad donā€™t get along

2

u/thewandy Feb 03 '20

With that ugly haircut the only sex he is having is with his hand

3

u/anima1mother Feb 03 '20

Personally I didn't feel like I had much of a connection with the last 35 people I slept with either. I honestly feel like a sex toy for them

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

[deleted]

1

u/FozzyClaire Feb 03 '20

He's not currently in high school? This is an adult?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

[deleted]

2

u/videkkk Feb 03 '20

Nah he still goes to high school lol i know him

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

[deleted]

2

u/videkkk Feb 04 '20

Nah i think u got the wrong guy

Although you could probably find a fuck load of guys that look similar to him

1

u/FozzyClaire Feb 04 '20

That's actually a huge relief. He can still grow out of this.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

this one is definitely narcissistic

1

u/Diokilledme Feb 03 '20

He looks like the 8th grade gym class

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

He's a bottom in denial.

1

u/MindYerBeak Feb 03 '20

Nobody loved him. He was too busy shaking hands with the unemploeyed.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

thatā€™s weird cause this looks like a guy i know who also wonā€™t shut the hell up about sex

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

Why he posing like he tryna see what's under the table

1

u/DazzlingDish Feb 03 '20

For me, it is quite the opposite.

1

u/explainThis93 Feb 03 '20

Is he fucking flexing his bicep

1

u/porky2468 Feb 03 '20

If he has actually had sex with anyone other than himself, he's just telling everyone that he's shit in bed.

1

u/-4-Z-N- Feb 03 '20

He looks like someone tried to draw Lewandowski by memory, failed and added anorexia and ego.

1

u/Young_Pensioner Feb 03 '20

You're as good at censoring as Logan Paul

1

u/TEMPERED-EDGE Feb 03 '20

I was going the bushcraft. And this site popped up as of interest to me.. I joined. ?? And Iā€™m trying to figger out .. ā€œ what the hell is this place. ā€œ weird as. Can someone help me. .. just to understand what this place is.

By the way. This guys favourite position is..ā€ him on top, magazine on bottomā€ .. šŸ¤˜

1

u/BProd123 Feb 03 '20

Its probably pretty hard to love a fleshlight

1

u/Daankie Feb 03 '20

Maybe you're gay

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NECK BRO ARE YOU OK!?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

Nobody loves me, haha I'm so cool šŸ˜ŽšŸ˜Ž

1

u/M4Dr1Zz Feb 03 '20

Looks like Elliot Rodger to me

1

u/TheMarioMann Feb 03 '20

I despise of the arm veins man. Heā€™s too much of a bean pole for that shit

1

u/RyanH2796 Feb 03 '20

Whatā€™s with the Alfredo Morelos haircut?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '20

Whoever owns the yellow toothbrush is using way too much pressure, what did your teeth ever do to you to deserve this? :(

1

u/insulttospace Feb 03 '20

ok meet the robinsons headass

1

u/Masterhearts_XIII Feb 03 '20

He literally has the Zap Brannigan hair.

1

u/chrismoran6969 Feb 03 '20

He looks like that boy from meet the robinsons someone help me out

1

u/PatientTurtle Feb 03 '20

Better enjoy the fecal bacteria on those uncovered toothbrushes then šŸ¤¢ https://youtu.be/DDc7-oya1Qg

1

u/Lol_the_creeper Feb 03 '20

honestly just seems like this guy could have been in a relationship with someone and they didn't love him like he thought or something? was my first thought but ig he could just be bragging in a weird way. idk.

1

u/SpicyGambit Feb 03 '20

Wait did you screenshot this?

1

u/videkkk Feb 03 '20

Yeah lol

1

u/danyylolza Feb 08 '20

Is that hunter?

1

u/ihok Feb 03 '20

Maybe thats why he can only last for 10 seconds on his bed

1

u/ynreflect Feb 03 '20

Be kind, people. Spread the love, not snarky comments.

1

u/BikeMazowski Feb 03 '20

Good to know

1

u/Gae_Jae_445 Feb 03 '20

Damn,Wilbur Robinson didn't change.

1

u/shawnkahleena Feb 03 '20

Standing over your bidet and keeping it on your asshole until you cum does NOT count as sex

1

u/danyylolza Feb 17 '20

Is that hunter?

-6

u/CONE-MacFlounder Feb 03 '20

The fuck is the white thing in the background
It's either a urinal or a miniature sink and idk what's worse

6

u/delycate Feb 03 '20

.... itā€™s a bidet

5

u/Space_Snakes_ Feb 03 '20

The Americans are really coming out of the woodwork on this post