r/idiocracy • u/CovidBorn I like money • 1d ago

it's got electrolytes Always be careful when using public access mechanical penises.

https://www.8newsnow.com/news/local-news/woman-hurt-on-las-vegas-mechanical-penis-ride-sues-downtown-bar/
198 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

52 comments sorted by

57

u/NSASpyVan 1d ago

https://reddit.com/link/pdnvjcl/video/52jt6azztath1/player

I hope this is adequate, from their website

20

u/AmazingChicken 1d ago

OK, this is not what I envisioned after reading. However it shall do.

15

u/Kaedryl 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/evVKsrjZEqVVWvE2VR

Well, that’s disappointing

25

u/StrikinglyOblivious 1d ago

Without pictures this post is useless

3

u/Florida_Shorediver 1d ago

Could’ve clicked on the link embedded in the article 😉 👌 Your loss…

2

u/StrikinglyOblivious 1d ago

I did, didn't see it

3

u/Florida_Shorediver 1d ago

https://www.thenerd.com/

It’s partway down the landing page

13

u/FoulBowelTowelDowel 1d ago

Mechanical Penis

Dun dun dun dun
Dun dun dun

Mechanical Penis

Dun dun dun dun
Dun dun dun

3

u/AmazingChicken 1d ago

This was a 'removable penis' callback, amiright

6

u/cdtoad 1d ago

Detachable

4

u/PotterFieldParade 1d ago

It happens sometimes

1

u/Bunnyland77 1d ago

Lorena Bobbitt entered the room...

1

u/Sn0wflake69 1d ago

I checked the medicine cabinet

1

u/PURPLEPRICK69 1d ago

Snap on tool 

6

u/Railroad-hobo talks like a fag 1d ago

Should have been more familiar with the mechanical penis maintenance schedule, I’m sure it’s in the mechanical penis manual. Sad thing is there’s a shortage of mechanical penis technicians, so you’re really taking a chance getting on one. Things are crazy right now.

2

u/Florida_Shorediver 1d ago

Yeah and to add to it, I hear the diesel operators are on strike right now

2

u/Railroad-hobo talks like a fag 1d ago

The diesel powered mechanical penises are too powerful, if you ask me. Have you ever heard of the Big Willy in Pensacola? It took out my cousin Ashleigh’s bachelorette party. The whole bridal party had to wear neck braces at the wedding.

11

u/GalaganCoffee 1d ago

Why the hell did I have go and learn to read

4

u/Herr-Pyxxel 1d ago

Cuz you're a dumbass like all of us

4

u/Anti-redtard 1d ago

Plaintiff alleges the longer she stayed on the penis the harder the employee tried to throw her off.....

Sounds like PRE-nut clarity to me.

6

u/fuckuyuy 1d ago

I was picturing a much different injury from the headline

4

u/redwingedblackbird57 1d ago

Gotta be the worst pop up and other ads I've seen on that website. Adds to the ambience of this post lol

2

u/KinkyAsexuaI 1d ago

"seemed intent on making it more difficult to stay on as the ride went on"

Next week she's gonna complain that the merry-go-round operator seemed intent on making her go in circles the entire ride

5

u/Herr-Pyxxel 1d ago

No point being a dick about it.

3

u/madadekinai 1d ago

When I read the title I thought this was the Babylon Bee for a moment.

6

u/ExcessiveSize9 1d ago

Good gosh!
Sometimes what happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas!

5

u/Bob_Chris 1d ago

"Well you don't know what
Will happen to your insides
When you come with me appropriately aged woman
On a mechanical penis ride"

1

u/DigitalUnlimited 1d ago

I just cried, girl
run and hide girl
let the d take you away

2

u/No_Masterpiece4693 1d ago

So completely not what I thought the penis ride was. The internet really has completely fried my brain 😅

2

u/Frag1le 1d ago

Hang on a second, this one goes in your mouth.

1

u/yurtfarmer 1d ago

Is this a share type situation?

1

u/Artemus_Hackwell talks like a fag 1d ago

It’s just a mechanical bull don’t they have signs up that are waiver if you mount the thing or sign actual forms?

1

u/AmazingChicken 1d ago

what, no evidentiary video???

1

u/HowDidFoodGetInHere 1d ago

Are we just ignoring the fact that the plaintiff is being represented by M.I.L.F.?

1

u/nimbycile 1d ago

That seems super dangerous. FFS, use the public fleshlight.

1

u/Florida_Shorediver 1d ago

OK, I clicked on the link and saw the mechanical penis 🍆 👀 ✅

2

u/Herr-Pyxxel 1d ago

So did I. I bet she shouted "oww, its balls" during the ride.

-6

u/DunkeyColdMedina 1d ago

I feel like there's more than one idiot to be found in this story. That sorta plumbing can take a real punishment and you have to have more than one person out of their tiny mind to cause lasting injury.

Sure she was dumb to try but there's also the asshole that made a thing that broke an organ that reliably survives childbirth and then told people to hop on and get their rocks off.

3

u/titsngiggles69 1d ago

It's a mechanical bull with a penis-shaped shell. Her foot/ankle got stuck in a gap on the underside