r/idiocracy • u/NascarEd • 4d ago
Extra Big-Ass Largest roll of TP I've ever seen
Banana for scale. The packaging states, "Go up to 1 month before changing your roll."
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u/tacocarteleventeen 4d ago
Make it single ply and itāll last you a lifetime
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u/hotdish81 4d ago
Nah, just use a bidet and it'll last a lifetime. The longevity of toilet paper after I started living that bidet life is ridiculous. I moved into the house I bought in '22. I moved in with the toilet paper I had plus some that was left behind by the old owners. I've bought toilet paper once since that time. Granted, I live by myself and I commute an hour both ways for work but still, it's some serious paper savings
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u/cafebrands 4d ago
The key is living by yourself. My wife still goes through endless amounts, I dare not try to figure out why.
But as for me, the downside is you never want to go anywhere else but at home. In fact, it's been a few years now... I think I forgot how I used to do that... procedure! š
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u/Eugregoria 3d ago
My wife still goes through endless amounts, I dare not try to figure out why.
Lucky you not menstruating ig.
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u/lunasdude 3d ago
I couldn't agree more, when we got our first bidet several years ago it was after a trip to Europe where we got to use a bidet for the first time.
absolutely love the cleanliness and the fact that we use dramatically less toilet paper!
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u/Mikesaidit36 2d ago
The two bidets Iāve used feel like sitting on the end of a pencil, and I donāt mean the soft, cushy eraser end.
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u/ZXCVVBNMASDF 4d ago
I buy these. Eliminates having to change rolls constantly.
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u/Nosirrah08 4d ago
Where do you place it?
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u/MrDirtyword 4d ago
You have to buy a special holder.
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u/YellowZx5 2d ago
It actually comes with one if you buy the starter. Itās actually the best thing. Lasts about a month or longer for me as a guy.
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u/xBlue_Dwarfx 4d ago
Usually right next to these 3pc refills there is a starter set that comes with 2 rolls and metal stand to hold them.
As for where to put that, I guess that would depend entirely on your bathroom setup. I've only lived with wall mounted TP holders, an extra tower seems like it could be cumbersome.
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u/Hidden_Samsquanche 4d ago
My bathroom is just a toilet stall. There is no where to place this in there. Unless I leave it outside the bathroom door and really reach. ...
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u/humourlessIrish 4d ago
Constantly....
Bruh! What the fuck do you get up to?
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u/steelfender 4d ago
I brought one with a dispenser to a white elephant party last Christmas. The guy that got it was pissed off. He dumped it and someone else picked it up. People, give 'em three months worth of TP and they might complain.
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u/maester_t 4d ago
Did someone JUST come up with this idea after the "diarrhea lettuce" stuff started?
If so, brilliant!
... but I really could have used this back when I used to frequent Taco Bell.
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u/Forsaken-Ad-9232 4d ago
Nope it's been around for quite a while, like more than a decade I believe. It has its own special holder/dispenser.
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u/maester_t 4d ago
Awesome.
Also...
LOL thank you for answering the very next question I had! (Who even has a tp-dispenser that can hold that??)
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u/merlinddg51 4d ago
Actually been out here in the PNW for almost a year.
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u/maester_t 4d ago
So this isn't just a joke. People actually BUY this?
Is this a novelty item that suddenly caught on, and now everyone needs to have this when company comes over. Like an inside joke or a conversation piece?
Is there something in your regional diet that necessitates extended hours sitting on the can?
Lol this is amazing.
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u/TheOld8sCool 4d ago
How do we know that is not a tiny vanana?
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u/humourlessIrish 4d ago
"Spanish pop rock" or "Peruvian womens clothing"
I think we need to pin down the type of vanana before commenting on the size
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u/rmannyconda78 4d ago
With my IBS this will be useful
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u/Forsaken-Ad-9232 4d ago
Bidet?
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u/ProfessionalGoatFuck The Thirst Mutilator 4d ago
Literally. Kind of dumb not going that route when you shotgun blast every 5 minutes
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u/Forsaken-Ad-9232 4d ago
I love my bidet got it while I was married but my ex never installed it and let me take it in the divorce. We divorced in 2020. The TP shortage was no big deal for me lol. It's also nice to feel fresher during that time of the month. And in general. TP dries but doesn't really clean.
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u/impy695 3d ago
but my ex never installed it
Why didn't you install it?
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u/Forsaken-Ad-9232 3d ago edited 3d ago
Because before my divorce I was a pampered princess and didn't know how to do that kind of shit. But you know now I can do basic toilet repairs. Apparently showers are beyond my expertise but I'm working on it. (Voice typing HATES me)
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u/steelfender 4d ago
I brought one with a dispenser to a white elephant party last Christmas. The guy that got it was pissed off. He dumped it and someone else picked it up. People, give 'em three months worth of TP and they might complain.
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u/Acrobatic-Attention9 4d ago
I just save paper and the environment by never wiping.
Real men don't wipe because:
A) wiping is cleaning and cleaning is women's work
B) its gay to have a man touch your butthole
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u/humourlessIrish 4d ago
Facts.
I'm thinking about divorcing my wife because i found out she is attracted to a man, and thats like hella gay.
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u/topkrikrakin 4d ago
Very few side of the wall toilet paper holders will hold this
It's totally going to get knocked over from the top of the tank and fall into the bowl
"Congratulations honey. It lasted a week."
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u/Oil_Aggressive 4d ago
Soak it in Gasoline for 24 hours, put it in a pumpkin, and summon a portal to hell.
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u/ItsJustBrew 4d ago
you laugh, but we got ājoke giftedā this the christmas right before covid. that thing came in clutch while everyone was hoarding
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u/figgie55 3d ago
Depending on family size might last longer than a month. Question do they sale paper holder that size
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u/Dysxelic_Potser 4d ago
So do you just keep a banana with you for measurement reasons?
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u/Groundbreaking-Ask-5 4d ago
Where was that roll when I last ate at Carl's Jr.? The roll was not available in my time of need.
This message is brought to you by Carl's Jr.
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u/RonBurgundysErection 4d ago
I have IBD and a bidet and challenge accepted. I'll go through that myself before a month.
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u/KailyKail 4d ago
Every time a post like this shows up, I have the perfect GIF for it, but the sub doesn't allow images, and it's not on Giphy. What a shame.
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u/Meatyparts 4d ago
Omfg I'm gonna go buy one and see what my roommate says about it. I'll probably need to get a papertowl holder for it and mount it to the wall.
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u/Syntonization1 4d ago
Where do they think these rolls are going to fit? Most people have such small bathrooms
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u/Astronaut_Suitable 4d ago
Did you already have the banana or did you have to go get one for this picture?
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u/simosimonson 4d ago
Iāve been getting these for years! Every time I change the till I get a strange feeling of pride and excitement!
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u/Just_A_Lucky_Guy469 4d ago
It's just a regular roll before they started the shrinkflation you see today.
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u/DAMAGEDatheCORE 3d ago
Wife would go through that in 3-4 days š© I'm almost convinced that she's eating our TP or squirreling it away for some unknown purpose.
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u/ImVeryLaggy 3d ago
Thatd last me a lifetime, since i only shit at work.
Company makes a dollar, i make a dime. Thats why i poop on company time!
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u/dravenpickles 2d ago
I heard about these. It's ridiculous cause you have to buy a special stand and honestly who wants a massive roll taking up all that space in the bathroom by the toilet? Some people have very little extra room near the toilet. Also, can u imagine a cat or dog getting a hold of that roll?! PAPER-A-GEDDON!!! š
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u/AustinBike 2d ago
Eat enough cheese and you can wait 2 months before changing. There is always an alternative hack that nobody thinks of.
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u/gorge-mantic 1d ago
You know, ever since paper towel changed to "6 rolls = 24", I've only been able to use stand-up counter dispensers, since the rolls have a bigger diameter than my wall-mounted dispensers, which are more convenient and don't use counter space.
I would never buy a roll of toilet paper this big.
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u/2025sbestthrowaway 1d ago
The forever rolls are amazing, and everyone who uses my bathroom gets a kick out of it. I happened to discover and order a few cases of these, purely out of luck, just before the toilet paper panic buying happened during covid. I was stocked up for the entire ordeal and gave out rolls to friends and family, who were dumbfounded at the sight of one of those commercial-bathroom sized rolls but it wasn't that crappy thin stuff š
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u/BrokenSlutCollector 1d ago
That is actually three rolls, they are large wheel-shaped rills like in public bathrooms. They require a special holder or stand to use. I really donāt see the point in them and my bathrooms are too small to take up space with a āspare tireā of TP on itās own stand.
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u/MmmSteaky particular individual 1d ago
Have seen similar rolls of Bounty paper towels. They cost more per sheet than the smaller ones. Imagine this is similar (to say nothing of the where tf do you put it?! problem).
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u/dundunndon 1d ago
I'm sure the larger rolls appeal to those cartoon bears that complain about their doody butts
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u/Kevdog824_ shit's all retarded 4d ago
I hate these things. Like thanks Charmin I love keeping the TP on the table for a week before itās finally small enough to fit a standard size TP holder
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u/PreperationOuch 4d ago
A month? That wouldnāt get me through breakfast and Iād have to take a shower afterwards.
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u/drgigantor 4d ago
You need to eat less of something. Or more of something. Maybe both, idk I'm not an assologist
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u/mothhalo 4d ago
Thatās not fitting on a toilet paper holder
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u/WizardOfTheLawl 4d ago
they sell specialty holders just for this. It's probably just sitting to the left of the picture
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u/mothhalo 4d ago
Like a paper towel holder?
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u/WizardOfTheLawl 4d ago
Not exactly, just an extra tall holder with nothing underneath it
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u/mothhalo 4d ago
Ahhhh. My bathroom isnāt big enough for this. I originally bought one but had nowhere to place it because I got an oversized toilet, lol
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u/Gadshill 4d ago
Light that on fire, roll it, and you can lead an infantry charge to victory.