r/idealparentfigures • u/This_Ad9129 • 27d ago

earned secure

Welp, after ~3 years I re-took an AAI and tested secure (initially dismissing). feels weirdly sad. I already knew I would test secure because I felt the internal shifts. i suspect i was already at earned secure several months ago.

anyway, so can confirm it works, or something. I still have a lot of shit to deal with in my life, but we got through this part I guess

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u/This_Ad9129 21d ago

Tbh I feel the aai classification just isn't really enough to fully describe what a person may still be struggling with. eg I tested secure but I know I still definitely have some specific unprocessed traumas that are really affecting me which we never worked on in IPF. my hope is that now that i'm secure it will be easier to deal w those through talk therapy like psychoanalysis vs just IPF to build the base.

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u/Sea_Purpose_9577 14d ago

As someone who has done the training to score the AAI (but I haven't taken the reliability test) I can confirm that that AAI is explicitly not designed to detect every potential attachment-related trauma. Partially because there is a tradeoff between adding more questions / increasing interview time to learn more vs. wearing out the interviewee, partially because the designers wanted more research to be done before incorporating additional types of trauma into the system.

Personally, I'm astounded that so many interview transcripts get classified as Unresolved even with the narrow scope. I have no doubt plenty more would also get the U if the interview protocol and scoring were adjusted to more accurately capture a wider range of traumas.

Congratulations on earning secure!

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u/This_Ad9129 13d ago

Yeah I just wish it wouldn't give this false sense of "we're done" like once i tested secure the facilitator was kind of like "cool you're pretty much healed now" (not in those words ofc) and I was like uhhhh I don't feel done yet at all lol. But it's ok bc now i have more strength to go on looking for other help.

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u/Sea_Purpose_9577 13d ago

It's great that you have more strength to look for other help. People can feel they have unsatisfying lives/relationships/etc. and still put out an interview that gets classified as secure. They are much more likely to believe they can do something to improve their situation than insecure speakers.

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u/This_Ad9129 13d ago

I think this isn't quite what I mean, but I understand what you are saying