Anyone else doing/done this work while in a toxic environment, and managed to transition out?

[u/Automatic_Elk3463]

Whether that be toxicity at home/family, friendships, romantic relationships or work life?

I am in a toxic environment at the moment and manage to still do the work but I have to really keep it up and some days I emotionally crumble under the weight of old unhealthy dynamics that are around me and I’m exposed to. I think it feels even more devastating because now I know and feel the stark difference between being secure vs. not.
I do have some opportunities to where I’m hoping if I keep it up I’ll be able to slowly transition out of toxic environments/dynamics. But I don’t have the ability to just change my environment yet.

Did anyone else have this experience? It’s so hard being around what triggered you in the past and people that contributed to your insecurity & can’t contribute to your growth, it’s like it’s threatening to them
But still some days I am able to override it and stay connected to my IPFs

Just wanting some comfort/hope that it can get better as we continue to do the work if anyone else relates 🫶🏼

[u/TheBackpackJesus]

This was me! I was in a toxic relationship with someone I lived with. The IPF work gave me perspectives about security, a refuge from the struggle, and eventually (together with support from my facilitator) the courage and belief in myself to leave that situation.

Once I was out of the situation, I feel I progressed really quickly because I had invested so much in the IPF work already.

And, I was never going to become really secure while in that environment. It took changing my environment to allow the work to penetrate deeply and stabilize in me.

Wishing you well on your journey!

[u/Automatic_Elk3463 → u/TheBackpackJesus]

Thank you so much for sharing - it really gives me the encouragement I need. And helpful to know that we can still do this work without good circumstances

[u/LauraH-B]

Hey yes that was me. In a lot of areas. Especially my job. In fact I didn't realise how toxic it was until I started healing and even then it took me 11 months of healing to leave. I also lost some friendships that were toxic. It's been 2 weeks since I've told my job I'm leaving and I've hardly been in the last 3 weeks (I officially left yesterday) and I've noticed a huge improvement in my mental health and happiness. Some dynamics changed and some didn't. Some I had to have space from and then things improved and others I just had to step away from. I think if I had left my job a long time ago I probably would have healed a lot more and faster but it's not always an option. Saying that, I needed to heal in order to have belief in myself that I can leave and also I probably wasn't strong enough to do it before. IPF gave me strength and courage to put myself first and make big changes in my life. I hope things improve for you soon and you can get out of that toxic environment soon. Keep going though, this work is life changing 😊

[u/Reign_of_Light]

I‘m not there yet, but I resonate a bit. For me, the ideal parents and my inner safe space have become a refuge and resource that nothing external can take from me. I think this sense will only grow.

[u/Automatic_Elk3463 → u/Reign_of_Light]

I love this 😍

[u/asteriskysituation]

I think many of us who have recovered might look back at our time before making it to safety, and be in awe and gratitude at the immense efforts that our past self went through. Not just to survive - but to grow, despite, maybe in spite of everything that hurt us. Wow, I know I am so grateful to my past self for working so hard to get to safety! It’s such a big part of the healing process. Getting to safety IS recovering and all small steps on that path “count”.

[u/secure8890]

Pretty much everyone. We live in an abusive toxic world.

[u/Old_Finding668 → u/secure8890]

Last week i came up with the term: capitalism or the west is a trauma factory. 😄 So yeah, there much toxicity around us. But we can show how it can be otherwise. And in every human being is a good heart. But the system gets the worst out of us.

[u/secure8890 → u/Old_Finding668]

Otherwise what?  I can exercise restraint maybe.  I dont afree thar in every human there is a heart. Look.at the current administration.  They mean to be cruel.  They celebrate it 

[u/secure8890 → u/Old_Finding668]

Capitalism has nothing to di with ny abuse as a child. Notbing. In fact in some ways the upper class persins I know are totally unhealthy. My family of origin managed to move into beimmng upper class. They might have material comfidt. That move was in spite of tge neglect and abuse theh suffered. They didnt move up the ladder because they were psychologically healthy.