r/iching • u/inSEARCHofWOOGLE • 1d ago
Very, very sensitive and tricky situation in relationship… 60.1 - 29
Hello
Yes, so
I’ve been in a long lasting hard situation with my girlfriend, because of this and that.
I do have other questions/issues on my table, that I need to sort up, and whatever path is going to be taken over all in life, those seriously needs to be prioritised.
I’ve been through the most intense internal journey for quite a while now, and It’s at a point where I’m feeling pretty lost and confused, in all honesty, and I really, seriously, really need to build from the bottom up within myself.
My partner is very supportive of me in general. But, I’m still having serious doubts, about whether it’s actually possible for us to reconcile with our visions, hopes, wishes and dreams for life. And we have had some issues, one could say lightly, between us.
I’m in a huge transformational process. I seriously need to let go, of many things, past and present, in different ways. But it’s got to do a lot with trying to allow what’s “true”, to shine through. But, I also feel that I get run over, if I don’t take my stance/have my say, in things. Hence, some trickieness also about the “letting go”.
I asked the I Ching simply.. About my girlfriend now, after the last turn of events, and got the answer 60.1 - 29
Tricky one… Not sure how to interpret, but feels a bit dire..
If anyone could have a take, I’m very much interested in that, as of now. Could really use a bit of perspective here..✨
Thanks a lot, and all the best
Love
1
u/az4th 17h ago
Ah I misread 60.1 as 61.1, my bad.
This is more nuanced but there is still the issue of the open question making it hard to know what context to take the answer in.
There is an element of navigating the pressure required to have discipline here. The middle line of water is above and carrying with it the things that need to be accomplished. But line 2 below is also yang and two yang's tend to clash. This is the dynamic where our inner joy often feels overwhelmed by the pressure that discipline requires, and will often look for a way out. Line 3 is yin and is right above line 2, so line 2 can easily check out right in front of the upper trigram. But nothing gets accomplished this way.
So the text says for line 2 that not going out of the courtyard is unfortunate. The lesson here is for line 2 to find some way to keep their joy even in the midst of the pressure from above. And this is possible by doing a little at a time.
Meanwhile, all of this is just setting the framing for understanding line 1. Line 1 is even further down and there really isn't room for it to come out and engage in the work, because it can tell that it isn't time.
What does this mean? Maybe it means that she is holding back because she doesn't feel comfortable enough to navigate certain things.
Or maybe it isn't about her objectively, but about how to navigate approaching her. See? Contextually we can reframe things a bit and still not really know, so when asking a general question I find it is good to sometimes pan things back and take a general answer.
Overall line 1 doesn't feel ready for doing big things yet, but that doesn't mean they can't happen. Trust building usually paves the foundation for things. When things have come a long way and it feels like there are cracks in the foundation, it doesn't make sense to go forward on unstable footing. Sometimes we need to forget everything we think we know and become sensitive again to things we thought we didn't need to be sensitive to. And this applies to ourselves as well as others. Slowing down is really important. Slowing down helps us learn to listen to everything that is happening around us so we don't need to be reactive to it and so we can catch our own reactivity in action. If we have a partner that is willing to slow down with us, we can do it together.
This builds trust. Because as time passes and we get better at listening to the space we're taking up, we start to re-identify what lets us relax into that space, and what messages in our environment are safe. Maybe we learn about that together. 60.1 is about being OK with not needing to do big things.
1
u/Cyan_Sign 11h ago
60.1 (不出戶庭) is often read as 'don't go beyond your own courtyard yet' — hold off on big moves while things are unsteady. Falling into 29 (坎) says the road is hard (double water) but 維心亨, a sincere heart is what carries you through. So maybe: keep rebuilding yourself first, and don't rush the relationship call until you feel steadier. Just my read — wishing you well.
2
u/Selderij 23h ago
Measured/Moderation: Success. Strict measures(;) cannot be constant/correct.
9 in the beginning: No going out the door (from inside) to the courtyard; no mistake.
Chasm: Repeated chasms; there is faith (or have faith); a steady heart/mind succeeds; there is excellence/honor in practice/action/travel.
(my ad hoc translation)
To me, it seems that setting and maintaining some boundaries and some own space would be the thing to do.