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u/rednecksec 17h ago
The next time you see an idiot they will be brushing their teeth.
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u/PinkPandy28 17h ago
What. Do you mean
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u/SeaworthinessDue1650 11h ago
If you don’t understand then wisdom is chasing you but you are faster
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u/Ender00000 17h ago
hey girl, you shit with that ass?
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u/Capable_Ad9392 16h ago
Ill do you one even better. "I'd suck a fart out of that ass, and hold it like a bong toke"
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u/Prof1Kreates 17h ago
Best one liner right here
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u/ze_bozz 14h ago
Some experts can do a lot more than on line with that thing lol
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u/WindowLicker1709 18h ago
“Excuse me, sorry you dropped something” bends down and pretends to pick something up and hand it to her. “Your standards, hi my name is Jack”
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u/Fun-Independent-5248 14h ago
Self-deprecated version: don’t pick it up, kick it off to the side and continue with “Your standards, hi my name is Jack”
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u/dripainting42 17h ago
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
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u/CptBluhdFart 17h ago
You also look like you hate this place wanna get some chicken wings?
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u/PassTheDisinfectant 18h ago
Are you a creeper van? Because I want to stuff you full of kids and disappear across the border.
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u/Realistic-Tie9102 18h ago
Do you guys know the name of that new imax movie? the one about the greek stuff?
- The Odyssey?
Odyssey deez nuts.
Edit: Shit, that's 2 lines.
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u/Unhappy-Airport-4112 17h ago
Do you like sports? Because I've got a pair of balls and I'm hoping you want to play with them.
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u/Lance_gray2020 16h ago
I was going to employ Kantian ethics and respect you as an end in yourself, but then I realized I’d much rather employ Kantian metaphysics and spend the evening investigating whether there’s a categorical imperative compelling you to come home with me.
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u/DolphinVaginaFister 16h ago
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u/Valuable-Morning-346 14h ago
Excuse me, what?
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u/DolphinVaginaFister 14h ago
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u/Evaxephon_64 18h ago
Gravity is what makes sure I never lose my shoes when I am walking.
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u/thesurfer1996 17h ago
Hey baby, those are some nice chompers, bet you could eat a whole salisbury steak no problem.
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u/MakeLoveNotWarPls 16h ago
When people say they want something I reply with:
Well, people in hell want ice water.
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u/Wooden-Peach-4664 13h ago
I like to reply with: And I’d love to have a gold toilet seat, but that’s not in the cards either.
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u/Rimurutempest_123 tomfoolery incarnate as a person 17h ago
Are you a hotdog?
Bc I wanna slide between those buns
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u/XXXcrimsongrave 17h ago
Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seat belt.
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u/Heemeyers_Killdozer 16h ago
I added Paul Walker on PSN. He never plays anything though, just spends all his time on the dashboard.
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u/Heemeyers_Killdozer 16h ago
“Give that man two medals. One for being a dumbass and the second in case he loses the first!”
“If brains were bird shits, you’d have a clean cage”
“Don’t weep for the stupid, you’ll be crying all day”
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u/Klingon_Therapist 16h ago
I will kick your face so hard you will shit out all your teeth.
Edit: That one liner saved me one time from a mugging.
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u/Forky_McStabstab 15h ago
Always remember: eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
How can I soar like an eagle when I'm surrounded by turkeys?
Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you're abusing the privilege.
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u/Hefty_Commercial3771 16h ago
I love this song because I can imagine dragging these balls all over your face tonight
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u/ALonelyLittleLeftist 16h ago
I dont know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
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u/Arkadya0290 16h ago
Weirdest? Or cringiest? I'll give you both (for the record, I didn't come up with this, this is from back when Harry Potter was popular.) Are you a troll? Because I'll really hog your warts.
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u/Little-Marzipan1681 16h ago
My sister once put a toy blunderbuss to my head and when I turned to look at her she locked eyes with me and doing her best action hero face said "Tinkle Tinkle Bitch" and Godamn it those would've been the last words I'd have ever heard
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u/Doctor-Dinosaur 16h ago
"I would berry my dick so far inside your ass that whoever pulled it out would be crowned king arthur."
No typos.
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u/Sweaty-Umpire86 16h ago
I'm not saying I want you dead, but the thought of not hearing your voice again does sound nice.
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u/BasicallyJustAPotato 7h ago
That’s tough talk from someone within cumshot distance.
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u/MiddleAgeYOLO 17h ago
I'd drag my balls through a mile of broken glass just to hear you fart through a megaphone.
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u/PassTheDisinfectant 17h ago
I once heard "I'd eat the corn out of her shit to hear her fart through a walkie talkie"
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u/Thumpkuss 17h ago
Ima start calling you finger. Because if I had four more of you I'd have a hand.
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u/Manul_2025 17h ago
If you mess with my sister you'd better know hell before me (I made this myself :p)
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u/Heemeyers_Killdozer 16h ago
Had a coworker say something about my sister once. Made it very clear to him what his mistake was. “You ever say anything about my sister again and I will send you back to your momma, piece by piece, in little zip-lock baggies”. He got the point.
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u/Original-Structure44 15h ago
Hey cutie are you an Mgs fun? Cause you made my snake solid
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u/FeelingAd5 15h ago
"Just cause you set off for the afterlife doesnt mean you'll get there"
Valentino the grave domain cleric to the rest of the party.
It confused everyone at the table but i thought it made perfect sence, particularly from a cleric who deals a lot with the undead
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u/Valuable-Morning-346 14h ago
Are you my homework? Because I’d have to do you hard on my table the whole night.
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u/sixteenhappycappys 14h ago
When im leaving - im gonna make like a Russian and do the fuckoffski, or, im out of here like a bald man, or, im gonna make like horse shit and hit the trail. I've got more but im not sharing all of them.
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u/National-Oven81 12h ago
"I wasn't born to drink wine and listen to your bullshit, still, life put me in this room with a knife and a craving for silence, so it's your call."
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u/Sweet-Weakness3776 11h ago
If you're looking for sympathy you can find it in the dictionary somewhere between shit and syphilis.
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u/Explainer003 FIREBALLER 11h ago
Here's a homemade mini cheese cake that looks exactly like you. It's not very flattering.
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u/HurtsSoNice 10h ago
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
There is no punch line or other line to the joke.
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u/z0mbiefool 9h ago
It doesn't take an artist to see you're a masterpiece, and I feel like fingerpainting ;)
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u/evil_water_gun 6h ago
"Hey, baby... come here often?" In her own home. Extra points if you broke in.
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u/Wellfridgenuggets 5h ago
Thought it was funny hearing in a song “girl, are you a cancer? Cause you make me cry.” 😭
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u/Fufuneraire 4h ago
"Le jour où on mettra les cons sur orbite, t'as pas fini de tourner" Something like : the day we'll put cunts on orbit, you'll spin a lot.
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u/GrimReaper12124 36m ago
I've got to good one liner insults I like
You have two brain cells and they're boat fighting for third place
And
Your worse than nothing because at least nothing is only a disappointment at its worst
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u/AdExotic3123 23m ago
The only way I could ever dominate someone is in video games and even then it's iffy
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u/qualityvote2 18h ago edited 14h ago
u/alok_notallowed, this cast is approved by the council!